bostonterrier Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I've been to a few dates before, usually I met girls online because I don't have the balls to talk to women offline...but that's it, after the first date they would never answer my calls/texts anymore, I know it has a lot to do with my looks, people say I'm the humblest person ever, so I don't think it is my personalitty, anyway I was just wondering how come people become boyfriend/girlfriend, a peculiar person like me will never understand, thank you:D
Apolodor Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. But the truth is that if you're not very good looking women will be reluctant to engage in a bf/gf type of relationship. Hence the lack of response from them after the initial dates. In your situation you'll need to be realistic and look for females who are in your league. Most of the rejection comes when we, average-looking guys, aim for women who see themselves as gorgeous (even if they are not). The problem is that these days women who used to be considered ugly 20-30 years ago are the "new gorgeous". When I say to look for women in your league that includes the obese, the ones who already have children, or the bald ones.
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. But the truth is that if you're not very good looking women will be reluctant to engage in a bf/gf type of relationship. Hence the lack of response from them after the initial dates. In your situation you'll need to be realistic and look for females who are in your league. Most of the rejection comes when we, average-looking guys, aim for women who see themselves as gorgeous (even if they are not). The problem is that these days women who used to be considered ugly 20-30 years ago are the "new gorgeous". When I say to look for women in your league that includes the obese, the ones who already have children, or the bald ones. so i need for you to clarify what you have posted are you telling the op that he should simply go for the new ugly/gorgoeus, the bald women and the obese or the ones who have responsibilities of raising children ..simply to be in a relationship...can you clarify that..deb
Joaquin Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. But the truth is that if you're not very good looking women will be reluctant to engage in a bf/gf type of relationship. Hence the lack of response from them after the initial dates. In your situation you'll need to be realistic and look for females who are in your league. Most of the rejection comes when we, average-looking guys, aim for women who see themselves as gorgeous (even if they are not). The problem is that these days women who used to be considered ugly 20-30 years ago are the "new gorgeous". When I say to look for women in your league that includes the obese, the ones who already have children, or the bald ones. This is actually very funny. Op, you get a vibe when a girl likes you. If u feel it u try kissing her. If she vomits on you then you are her bf.
Apolodor Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hi there, the OP seems to be facing a difficult problem: he goes on dates, but women fail to get back to him. That might be because those women have an inflated view of their physical appearance, and they find him physically unattractive. So I am suggesting that, if he's desperate to have a bf/gf relationship, then he should consider dating women who have average looks. These days the women I mentioned in my initial post describe themselves as "average looking". I am not saying that he should date any dog just for the sake of having someone who cares for him. It is all a matter of priorities. If he's prepared to wait a long time and aim high, that's absolutely fine.
Joaquin Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 If a bald girl gives you a go with her wig, you are also her bf.
ChessPieceFace Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I know it has a lot to do with my looks, people say I'm the humblest person ever, so I don't think it is my personalitty ... how on earth did you get the impression that women valued humility? They don't.
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 after years of soing this, the basics are, with "people" they always "over compensate", so what ever is said to you to try and compensate the negative will always be the thing that is a concern in life. "Your so nice, you can have anyone" = your too nice, no one likes that "Your such a good friend, girls will snap you up" = your to much a friend, theres nothing sexual about you" "Its whats on the inside that counts" = your looks are bad, no one will want you based on how you look. I could go on, but basiclly, you never hear people say "wow when i met him, he was such a good friend", they always point out how good he looked and good he was in bed, then theres the small bit 5 mins later "yeah, he never remembers my birthday" as a tiny small problem they always over look. AI know women have left guys over forgetting there birthday....... its an ever moving goal post you will never be able to lock down.
Wesker Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I've been to a few dates before, usually I met girls online because I don't have the balls to talk to women offline...but that's it, after the first date they would never answer my calls/texts anymore, I know it has a lot to do with my looks, people say I'm the humblest person ever, so I don't think it is my personality, anyway I was just wondering how come people become boyfriend/girlfriend, a peculiar person like me will never understand, thank you:D If you're as average looking as you say you are, you should take pride in the fact you even got a few dates with women online. Unless you're rich, or Mr. 6pack Hunk, most women won't even look/respond to your messages; let alone actually going out with you once.
kimberlydoll Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'm sorry to hear that. But the truth is that if you're not very good looking women will be reluctant to engage in a bf/gf type of relationship. Hence the lack of response from them after the initial dates. In your situation you'll need to be realistic and look for females who are in your league. Most of the rejection comes when we, average-looking guys, aim for women who see themselves as gorgeous (even if they are not). The problem is that these days women who used to be considered ugly 20-30 years ago are the "new gorgeous". When I say to look for women in your league that includes the obese, the ones who already have children, or the bald ones. Actually beauty standards today have risen and theyve done studies on this. The media has influenced the minds of men sadly. None of the men I dated online were mr. 6 pack hunk (I actually avoid men like this...I dont like guys too obsessed with their looks) or rich guys I also value humility. One of my biggest pet peeves is arrogant or cocky men. 1
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 If you're as average looking as you say you are, you should take pride in the fact you even got a few dates with women online. Unless you're rich, or Mr. 6pack Hunk, most women won't even look/respond to your messages; let alone actually going out with you once. This is kinda interesting, i bet a woman $100 that "6 pack" guys never actually get dates online. I choose a photo (she said would get a date hands down), after putting up my voip number with a male message (that sounded like the guy in the picture), not one call, loads of messages like you expect, but no one actually would meet up from online. I won the bet, i never got my money (she thought i was joking), i was labelled nasty as i wanted my money on a bet i spent hour and bought VOIP numbers to test the messages on.... However the results are still valid. Just to be sure, this was about 5 years ago in the UK
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 ... how on earth did you get the impression that women valued humility? They don't. i dotn value humility in men for sure.....i cherish it..humility doesnt make a man weak....only a truly arrogant man can lose face in theory losing face is weakness.....and it is a weakness by that mans own understanding of his own importance.....i see arrogant men as weak.......deb
ChessPieceFace Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) Oh, and the other critical advice OP - never listen to womens' advice about women. Women don't understand how to get women; they don't understand themselves. Women will give you a big noble list of things they claim they want in a man, and it's a bunch of BS fantasy that they tell themselves to deny their base nature. Womens' base nature is to go after alphas. That can mean different things, but "humble" is NOT one of them. If you focus on being "humble" and the other things the women in this thread claim to want, you'll be seriously hindering your chances at success. Edited February 24, 2013 by ChessPieceFace
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 usually I met girls online because I don't have the balls to talk to women offline.. That's too bad, because most people find their partners through real life interaction. 1
kimberlydoll Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Oh, and the other critical advice OP - never listen to womens' advice about women. Women don't understand how to get women; they don't understand themselves. Women will give you a big noble list of things they claim they want in a man, and it's a bunch of BS fantasy that they tell themselves to deny their base nature. Womens' base nature is to go after alphas. That can mean different things, but "humble" is NOT one of them. If you focus on being "humble" and the other things the women in this thread claim to want, you'll be seriously hindering your chances at success. Really? The last guy I went on 2 dates with and stopped seeing because he was too obsessed with his looks and cocky...and the guy before that that I stopped seeing who also seemed too arrogant for me and lacked emotional depth...Im just what, lying? ChessPieceFace, I kind of laugh at your posts because you seem like a woman hater who has been burned. Both sexes have bad apples. I could argue men do the same thing that you say women do. I know quite a few men that say they want nice smart cute girls but always go for the bitchy vapid hot ones in their dating choices. 1
Feelin Frisky Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You can't meet anyone if you are invisible. If you really want to try to find someone, do the best you can to improve your image and then try to get as much exposure to real people as possible. You never know--people know people and you can never know when you'll find a venue into a social circle in which there is an agreeable female. If you are uptight and shy there are two things to do about that. One is the older idea of deliberately choosing activities that force you to face people where you are supposed to feel less as you do your thing. That worked for me to some degree. But there is also social anxiety medicine today which really works for a lot of people and doesn't make you drugged out of alcoholled out like those who self medicate to prepare for social encounter and occasions. That worked and works for me as well. There's someone out there for ya, you just won't encounter them if you live a life of quiet invisibility and self-defeat. Work out, walk, run, get in shape, buy clothes that make you look confident and mature, go back to school or join extra curricular activities, if the nerves still keep you contained, try seeking a psychiatrist. No big whoop. Doesn't mean you're sick. Just means you're sick of wasting time.
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