Author PhoenixRysing Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 You just have to directly ask him out or to hang out for a drink/coffee/lunch. Unless you work with him, then he might not want to date you if there could be sexual harrassment issues. First, find out if he is single. Second, become a friend and get his number. Third, if he still appears disinterested, just ask him out directly. I am starting to think you are teasing me now...am I making this that difficult? If your responses to my posts are any indication of how men interpret what I say, then it's no wonder I am having issues communicating interest! I know how to ask a man out, I thought I was clear on that point. I have done it many times in the past. The questions I am focused on for the moment and I am supremely interested in knowing the answers too: Question 1: What could a woman do/has a woman done to make you feel safe asking her out? Question 2: What do you do to let a woman know you are interested if you don't ask her out?
TheGuard13 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Be as unsubtle as possible. Seriously. You have to basically explain "Hey, if you were to ask me out, I'd probably say yes". A lot of men have a fear of failure.
Author PhoenixRysing Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Be as unsubtle as possible. Seriously. You have to basically explain "Hey, if you were to ask me out, I'd probably say yes". A lot of men have a fear of failure. So I'm gathering... You know, women don't like failure much either and doing this pretty much puts all the risk on me. I might as well just ask him out. So what about the other question. What signals and vibe do you give when you are into a woman but maybe afraid to ask her out directly?
ltjg45 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 So I'm gathering... You know, women don't like failure much either and doing this pretty much puts all the risk on me. I might as well just ask him out. So what about the other question. What signals and vibe do you give when you are into a woman but maybe afraid to ask her out directly? Unfortunately, you may have to do that more often if I was you. The reason behind this is because women plays this flirting game with others that they have no romantic interest in them just because it is entertaining with them. Pretty much ruins it for me. Nowadays, I don't give it much thought unless she has actually made the effort to speak to me directly beforehand. Maybe.....just maybe I would approach her afterwards. Even then, it is still not guaranteed. Now, if a female comes up to me and ask me out directly, would I do it? Yeah, I would. I would even mention that I would be honored to take the reins for the date from here since I have failed to recognize your attraction to me. This is the least that I can do for my failure. But, really, it has to come to that if a female is attracted to me enough to want to date me. That's just my opinion, of course. 1
ltjg45 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Or "I want to **** you till your face falls off". That let me know she was interested. Major turn-on alert, right there. Do that, ladies, and you will get my full attention for the rest of the day..... and beyond.
Author PhoenixRysing Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Unfortunately, you may have to do that more often if I was you. The reason behind this is because women plays this flirting game with others that they have no romantic interest in them just because it is entertaining with them. Pretty much ruins it for me. Nowadays, I don't give it much thought unless she has actually made the effort to speak to me directly beforehand. Maybe.....just maybe I would approach her afterwards. Even then, it is still not guaranteed. Now, if a female comes up to me and ask me out directly, would I do it? Yeah, I would. I would even mention that I would be honored to take the reins for the date from here since I have failed to recognize your attraction to me. This is the least that I can do for my failure. But, really, it has to come to that if a female is attracted to me enough to want to date me. That's just my opinion, of course. I appreciate your candor and it seems many men are feeling this same way. I am saddened to hear that this is the state of things especially since so many of us desire a partner. I have to say, I think we all need to develop somewhat thicker skins. I have been turned down, rejected, and left behind, still I persist. My desire to find someone to share my life with outweighs any temporary pain associated with an unrequited crush. Perhaps this is partially due to the beautiful relationships I have been privileged to be a part of. Though my past unions ultimately ended, they were wonderful each in their own right - either in what we shared while together or the growth I experienced after. As hurt as I have been, I cannot imagine a world where I give up altogether (though I have certainly felt like doing so at times). So, I will again simply go after the man I want, hope he feels the same draw, and is pleasantly surprised by my interest. I can only hope that either my current crush or a future one will be heartened enough by my boldness and subsequent nurturing that he will learn to look past his prior losses as well.
Author PhoenixRysing Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) I won't be satisfied letting this thread die until I share an observation. So many of us want partners, yet so many of us hide from those we are attracted to due to fear and past hurts. None of us is every quite clear if the object of our affections returns our desire, but someone has to speak up first. The fear of rejection persists in us all - no matter our beauty, intelligence, or economic success. It is almost impossible to make it into adulthood without suffering some variant of heartache and thus be somewhat terrified of a future repeat. In the end, we have to charge forward anyway - the rewards are worth it. Look at it this way, we are alone now. If he or she says no, we are simply returned to the same state. If they say yes, then we may have gained a life partner. For all of the men who are wondering, "What if?" the only way to find out is to go for it. I can tell you that most of the men I have dated never thought they had a chance with me until I approached them. Each would have sat wondering, "What if" and meanwhile I was thinking "If only..." Perhaps the girl you want is thinking of you just as I am thinking of my fellow now. Maybe she did feel that jolt of connection when she met your eyes across the room. Maybe it isn't in your imagination that she lingered just a bit longer than normal when giving that goodbye hug. Maybe she does know that your foot is uncomfortably pressed against hers under the crowded table - and isn't moving because she relishes your presence. Maybe she, as I do, can still feel your touch from the time you took her hand during a conversation a week prior... Your gal may not be as brazen as I am, and you may be doomed to wonder "What if?" Or you can simply go for it. Just a thought. Edited February 25, 2013 by PhoenixRysing
blueskyday Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I like it when guys ask me out. I also understand how difficult it is for them so I try to make it easier. What worked for me was to playfully touch a guy that I was interested in on his arm. Then I looked up at him, smiled and said "You know a girl is interested in you when she touches yout like that." I threw in a wink, and a bigger smile. It worked like a charm and he later told me that that was the reason he asked me out.... he still talks about it 2
Author PhoenixRysing Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 I like it when guys ask me out. I also understand how difficult it is for them so I try to make it easier. What worked for me was to playfully touch a guy that I was interested in on his arm. Then I looked up at him, smiled and said "You know a girl is interested in you when she touches yout like that." I threw in a wink, and a bigger smile. It worked like a charm and he later told me that that was the reason he asked me out.... he still talks about it What a cute and sexy way to lead him along. I may well give this a go!
TheGuard13 Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Major turn-on alert, right there. Do that, ladies, and you will get my full attention for the rest of the day..... and beyond. Oh, she did.
jcrew11 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 Question 1: What could a woman do/has a woman done to make you feel safe asking her out? Question 2: What do you do to let a woman know you are interested if you don't ask her out? Well if you want to go the "indirect route" and let him know you are single and looking, say this: Ask him this: "I'm single and was wondering if you could suggest any guys who would be a good fit for me?" Obviously, you want him to respond by saying "Me, I'm a good fit" but if he suggests other men, then he probably does not see you as a sexual partner.
aussietigerwolf Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 You could also just grab him and kiss him lol no mistaking that one
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