Hurt21 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 So after almost two months of NC, my ex sent an email saying she missed me, and would really like to speak with me. I changed my number and blocked her on facebook. However, I never thought she'd send an email as I didn't even know she knew my email. Anyway, I'm wondering if I should even bother to respond. Background: My ex dumped me back in oct after almost 3 years together. She gave me all the "typical" break-up reasons but never actually the truth. I learned a month or so later that I had been dumped for someone else. She didn't and wouldn't tell me this herself. I learned this from a friend of mine. When I confronted her about it, she only admitted that they were together but not that she left me for them. Turns out she had been wanting this person for awhile while with me. I also learned from the same friend that I was cheated on during the relationship, and that she had only been keeping me around because I was helping her out financially. Talk about a slap in the face. That hurt. It has been hell dealing with it all. Do I want her back? Definitely not. I know I can do and deserve better. But I do want some kind of apology or something of the sort. I know I was good to her, and did nothing to deserve how she treated me near the end and a month or so after the relationship. I must add that I know for a fact that she has both been cheated on and dumped by the person she left me for. I think maybe this is her real motivation for contacting me as she is probably very hurt and lonely now. The grass was definitely not greener on the other side! Do I respond? To be honest I am curious as to what she has to say. p.s. this is a female and female relationship. If this offends you, please don't respond. 1
ak8o8 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I would stay NC. If you don't want to get back with her or have any sort of friendship with her, there's really no point in responding. I'm not the expert though, just something I've learned from this forum.
na49 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I blocked my ex on facebook and blocked her number. I guess this means that if they want to contact you, they'll find a way. I'm a little offended my ex hasn't tried to contact me. I really want to hear from her.. I'm dealing with a cheater too. As for if you should respond. I'd imagine she just misses you now because she's hurt. She remembers you and how good you were to her, so you look like the hot commodity now that she's been dumped or whatever. She may just want a shoulder to cry on, but if you don't want her back. I don't see a point in responding. She's not your priority now just like you weren't her priority while she was hooking up with someone else. Has she apologized to you for what she did? You sound like you're at a great spot emotionally. High five!
Author Hurt21 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 ak808: I tend to agree with you! na49: I know everyone says this, but when they do contact you..it does screw with you. I've been thinking about this all day. But I definitely undertand the feeling of wanting them to reach out, at least to know that they miss you or that you haven't been forgotten so easily. However, I do agree that when they do reach out, it really is only for selfish reasons and not really to get you back or anything. It took alot of prayer to get where I am now emotionally. And I'm still not even close to being over everything. I still have plenty of rough days. I still miss her all the time. But this NC thing does help in the long run. Prayer does too!
ScienceGal Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I would not respond. Why do you want an apology? Her being sorry doesn't change anything. Given her situation, I'd say she is likely lonely and desperate and will say/do anything to just feel better. You should not open the communication lines, there is nothing good there for you. 2
Darren Steez Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 So after almost two months of NC, my ex sent an email saying she missed me, and would really like to speak with me. I changed my number and blocked her on facebook. However, I never thought she'd send an email as I didn't even know she knew my email. Anyway, I'm wondering if I should even bother to respond. Background: My ex dumped me back in oct after almost 3 years together. She gave me all the "typical" break-up reasons but never actually the truth. I learned a month or so later that I had been dumped for someone else. She didn't and wouldn't tell me this herself. I learned this from a friend of mine. When I confronted her about it, she only admitted that they were together but not that she left me for them. Turns out she had been wanting this person for awhile while with me. I also learned from the same friend that I was cheated on during the relationship, and that she had only been keeping me around because I was helping her out financially. Talk about a slap in the face. That hurt. It has been hell dealing with it all. Do I want her back? Definitely not. I know I can do and deserve better. But I do want some kind of apology or something of the sort. I know I was good to her, and did nothing to deserve how she treated me near the end and a month or so after the relationship. I must add that I know for a fact that she has both been cheated on and dumped by the person she left me for. I think maybe this is her real motivation for contacting me as she is probably very hurt and lonely now. The grass was definitely not greener on the other side! Do I respond? To be honest I am curious as to what she has to say. p.s. this is a female and female relationship. If this offends you, please don't respond. I AM OFFENDED!!!!! ok now that's out of the way, hehe I wouldn't open up any form of dialogue with her. Seems she treated you pretty terribly, what kind of apology do you think you'll get? She's definitely not sorry for what she did, right now you can hold your head up high because what went around came around. The true person was revealed to you. I would just ignore her.
Chi townD Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Wow! Amazing! She cheats on you, leaves you for this other person and the OW cheats on her and dumps her! REALLY!! And NOW she misses you and wants to talk to you....now.......uh huh..... I think you've been here long enough to realize that she's trying to set you up as the back up plan, right?
Author Hurt21 Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 I have decided not to respond! I really did consider it, but I just can't. I've come too far and I'm not starting back from sqaure one. Darren Steez: You're absolutely right! I know the real reason why she is writing and I refuse to be some emotional back-up for her. I do wish I could just tell her off one good time though. lol....sorry if i did offend you.....not! haha. Chi town: I definitely do see that I am a back-up plan (Thanks to all you good folks for pointing out the signs) She has made it painfully obvious she is only coming back for comfort. I refuse to even entertain that. She won't hear a word from me..at all..ever. ScienceGal: I guess I want the apology because sometimes you want people to at least acknowledge that they wronged you. That does, at least from what I read in college go a long way in helping someone forgive, heal, and move on. I would like an apology, but I don't need one nor will I ask for one. The lack of one will not stop me from moving on either. Soni sagra: She need not contact me anymore. I'm sure after my silence to this email she'll get the hint quickly.
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