LostGirl11 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Just out of curiosity. What would you do if your ex came back, wanted you back but had slept with someone else during the break up. I personally would not even consider it. No, no no. I had a dream of my ex having sex with someone else the other day, that was bad enough! So would you take him/her back? Have you ever taken an ex back that has done this?
cavalier99 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Yes and i regret it because i couldn't let go of the hurt for a long time even though she did everything she could to make up for it. 1
Apolodor Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 It's not the end of the world, I reckon it depends on how much you're willing to compromise. When I was in my late 20's I had a close relationship with a much older woman. After 1 year of living together I discovered a letter from a so-called "friend" with whom she was having an affair when she was out-of-town for business. I was devastated, mostly because she refused to explain herself and kept accusing me of opening her mail. We didn't break up though, and the relationship survived for 2 more years. When the relationship came to an end it was for completely different reasons. I'm not saying that such things don't matter, it just depends on the circumstances, your emotional maturity, and your long-term plans (in my case I did not have any long-term plans with that woman).
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Yes and i regret it because i couldn't let go of the hurt for a long time even though she did everything she could to make up for it. I wouldn't be able to let it go either. I'd just be thinking 'While I was having a hard time trying to get over you, you were having sex' You know?
na49 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I would take her back in a second because I'm an idiot with no self respect who pines for a girl who cheated on me.
BarbecueMan666 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I pretty much know I'm not over my ex as I know the answer to that question is not one I like ^^.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 I pretty much know I'm not over my ex as I know the answer to that question is not one I like ^^. Neither am I, far from it. But if he had slept with someone else I couldn't go back, no matter how much I'd want to.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I would take her back in a second because I'm an idiot with no self respect who pines for a girl who cheated on me. I would 'dislike' this if I could.... 1
Thunderchild Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I would 'dislike' this if I could.... I would kick his backside for him!!
Own Worst Enemy Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Only to get smacked upside the head with "I'd love to see you, I've missed you so much, you're a massive hole in my life, you're the best person on the planet ever............... but all this is on the understanding that we can date other people, yeah?" So the answer it turns out is hell yes, but f.cuk alone knows why, he's a total tool!
NoLeafClover Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) Just out of curiosity. What would you do if your ex came back, wanted you back but had slept with someone else during the break up. I personally would not even consider it. No, no no. I had a dream of my ex having sex with someone else the other day, that was bad enough! So would you take him/her back? Have you ever taken an ex back that has done this? If I told you I would NOT take her back - Some people on here including my ex and her friends would probably think I am crazy because technically we weren't/aren't together which gives them every right to do what they want. If I told them I would take them back - Some people on here would think I have no backbone. Actually No I WOULD NOT HAVE A BACKBONE, DIGNITY, RESPECT FOR MYSELF etc etc So I did what's best in this situation - I took care of the shenanigans right away - I did it with other women because that is what she wanted (I want you to date other women she said). Let her wonder if she wants to take me back when I had someone while not together, because I truly couldn't give a f** anymore if she comes begging down my door. I am at this angry stage today I been thinking of all the hurt she has caused me. I should send her a present to tell her Thank You for doing me a favor. Edited February 25, 2013 by NoLeafClover
destroyed4sho Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I wouldn't be able to let it go either. I'd just be thinking 'While I was having a hard time trying to get over you, you were having sex' You know? If you guys were broken up, then why would that bother you? I wouldn't mind if my ex slept with someone and then came back to me. That would mean that they just weren't good enough compared to me !
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 I don't know why it would matter, it just would. It would kill everything. Probably comes down to dignity, not sure.
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 If I told you I would NOT take her back - Some people on here including my ex and her friends would probably think I am crazy because technically we weren't/aren't together which gives them every right to do what they want. If I told them I would take them back - Some people on here would think I have no backbone. Actually No I WOULD NOT HAVE A BACKBONE, DIGNITY, RESPECT FOR MYSELF etc etc So I did what's best in this situation - I took care of the shenanigans right away - I did it with other women because that is what she wanted (I want you to date other women she said). Let her wonder if she wants to take me back when I had someone while not together, because I truly couldn't give a f** anymore if she comes begging down my door. I am at this angry stage today I been thinking of all the hurt she has caused me. I should send her a present to tell her Thank You for doing me a favor. So you would take her back? Seems like I'm the only one that couldn't handle it.
na49 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I actually hate how bad I want her to come back. I know it's not good, and I know I don't want her the way she is now (however she is now). I want the girl who felt honored to be dating me, became my best friend, who I invested everything I had into.
NoLeafClover Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) So you would take her back? Seems like I'm the only one that couldn't handle it. Absolutely Not. Never - If it was the most amazing girl on earth, I would not get over it despite the fact that we weren't together. You are not the only one. I was simply given the two options and people would disagree because it can be argued very easily and in a way they can be right but you can't argue morals. If you don't take them back - some might think you might be crazy because you were not together and you are both free game. If you do take them back - some will think you don't have a backbone because you are letting them step all over you by pretty much telling them "It's okay to break up for couple weeks, screw someone else, and come back after you're done" Morally to me is the most disrespectful thing to do. No matter the circumstances, I couldn't do it-I could never take my ex back if she slept with someone else in between. I can't forgive my ex about breaking my heart for walking out on me, let alone for screwing someone else while I was hurting. Some can do it, I Sure as hell can not. On the other hand, I did sleep with other women after my ex because the Hero of the day and said she was done. I screwed around with other women because I knew I could do better and because I deserve to be with better women, deserve to have a better attachment (Emotionally and physically) and I am not hanging on my ex anymore as much as the fact that I let myself get this far with her. My ex did come back to me and text me, did call me and did apologize through a card but none were sufficient enough for me to say anything back. Please people, do not go back to your ex's after they have slept with others while taking a break on you. Please set some standard for yourself at least on this one. I can't see anything positive coming out of it except more trust issues, always being worried this will happen again, doubting long term with this person, Loosing the trust connection built thru the years. Actually I wouldn't even sleep at night think about them sleeping with other people. Except with my ex, I don't care about her anymore. I have shut my feelings completely. Edited February 25, 2013 by NoLeafClover 1
Author LostGirl11 Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Absolutely Not. Never - If it was the most amazing girl on earth, I would not get over it despite the fact that we weren't together. You are not the only one. I was simply given the two options and people would disagree because it can be argued very easily and in a way they can be right but you can't argue morals. If you don't take them back - some might think you might be crazy because you were not together and you are both free game. If you do take them back - some will think you don't have a backbone because you are letting them step all over you by pretty much telling them "It's okay to break up for couple weeks, screw someone else, and come back after you're done" Morally to me is the most disrespectful thing to do. No matter the circumstances, I couldn't do it-I could never take my ex back if she slept with someone else in between. I can't forgive my ex about breaking my heart for walking out on me, let alone for screwing someone else while I was hurting. Some can do it, I Sure as hell can not. On the other hand, I did sleep with other women after my ex because the Hero of the day and said she was done. I screwed around with other women because I knew I could do better and because I deserve to be with better women, deserve to have a better attachment (Emotionally and physically) and I am not hanging on my ex anymore as much as the fact that I let myself get this far with her. My ex did come back to me and text me, did call me and did apologize through a card but none were sufficient enough for me to say anything back. Please people, do not go back to your ex's after they have slept with others while taking a break on you. Please set some standard for yourself at least on this one. I can't see anything positive coming out of it except more trust issues, always being worried this will happen again, doubting long term with this person, Loosing the trust connection built thru the years. Actually I wouldn't even sleep at night think about them sleeping with other people. Except with my ex, I don't care about her anymore. I have shut my feelings completely. No matter how much I'd want to, I couldn't go back knowing that. Never!
spiritofjosh Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 I dated a girl for 5 years and we broke up 3 times during, about a month month and a half each. Each time she slept with another person and came back shortly after because she thought I was gone for good and felt so guilty she had to talk to me about it, and like a fool I took her back each time because I missed her so much. But I can't be the pot calling the kettle black, I've slept with others during our "breaks" as well because I thought she was gone for good. Now I'm a month deep in a recent break up with a girl who actually doesn't have such a bad reputation and to my knowledge hasn't even begun looking into dating somebody else and not hooking up. I can't help comparing her to my 5 year ex though which is unfair. So to answer your question; I would prefer to not go back out with a girl who slept around during our no contact phase (if that's the scenario, of course). I'm beating myself up now because the ex I want back isn't sleeping around, because that's a girl I want to hold on to.
mcdo Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Whether she slept with anyone or not wouldn't be my concern. I would be more concerned about where my head is at and how far along the healing process I am. I know my ex has slept with other guys. I imagine she's sleeping with the guy she's currently seeing. But I had a one night stand shortly after we broke up. I was free to do so but I regret it because one night stands don't do anything for me. Anywho, fair is fair. I'm pretty certain she has slept with another guy or two... but I've had another sexual partner too. So it would be ridiculously unfair for me to hold that against her.
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