Cassacacia Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 9 years. In that time he has held down a fulltime well paying job. I have not. My last job was about 5 years ago and this has caused tension on our relationship. I have had over 25 jobs but in the last 5 years I've barely looked at a resume. Our relationship has been very strained for years. We don't have sex anymore, it's been years. And he's recently started drinking heavily and even lied about it. He promised not to get wasted or buy hard liquor, both of which he's broken. Because he's had this great high paying job he controls several aspects of our life. And he constantly holds that over me as well as having explosive fights about this that and the other. He said "the blinder's are off", "he's changed as a person", but he also says he still loves me and doesn't want me to leave. It's difficult for me as well because if I wanted to leave, I have nowhere to go to. My not working has been a combination of medical issues, fear, and laziness. I have been trying to supplement our income slightly with online surveys. It just always feels like when he asks me to do whatever. When I do it, he doesn't like it and complains. He never ever tells me positive things. Like I'm beautiful or anything. And he makes me feel like I'm a horrible ugly fat psycho. I know I am far from perfect but I have tried to overcome several drug addictions, my infidelity (6 years ago). But he never sees anything he's done to me is wrong. He spends hours every night on his computer talking to all sorts of girls & guys and for the most part ignores me or says "leave you're annoying me." I feel like I try so hard sometimes to make things how he wants but it is never good enough. Even when I worked he forced me to take on a second job. There is so much bitterness in this relationship but I don't want to give up. And it's not because of the money he makes, which I could care less about. I'd rather be homeless and with someone who loves me, than be trapped in this horrible tornado of pain. Sorry for the long post, thank you for reading. Edited February 24, 2013 by Cassacacia
TaraMaiden Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Then be homeless. Go back to your family. Ask them for help. You're not tied to this guy by anything other than habit - which, like taking heroin, is not a good reason to remain in the addiction. Instead of seeing the things you can't do about it, examine and explore the things you can. You're deep in the doldrums. But there is a way out. There is ALWAYS a way out. You just need to find it, and get on that first step. 1
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