photogeek Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Let's just start by saying that in life, I have faced many challenges and overcome them. Dating and meeting women is a challenge I am still coming to gripes with. I have finally decided to break these walls around me and go for something I want instead of letting everything just happen. Well anyways, recently I have realized I had a semi crush on this girl I work with, not wanting life to just pass me by I decided to maybe ask her out. I gauged her interest and it seemed there, so I tossed around the idea of asking her out for a week. I couldnt work it into any conversations we had or brief encounters, but today I finally think I did it. She mentioned this restaurant I had been to and posted a photo of and how she has never been there. We chatted about it and I mentioned that it was pretty good and close by and we should go. Would you consider this asking someone out?
iKING Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Let's just start by saying that in life, I have faced many challenges and overcome them. Dating and meeting women is a challenge I am still coming to gripes with. I have finally decided to break these walls around me and go for something I want instead of letting everything just happen. Well anyways, recently I have realized I had a semi crush on this girl I work with, not wanting life to just pass me by I decided to maybe ask her out. I gauged her interest and it seemed there, so I tossed around the idea of asking her out for a week. I couldnt work it into any conversations we had or brief encounters, but today I finally think I did it. She mentioned this restaurant I had been to and posted a photo of and how she has never been there. We chatted about it and I mentioned that it was pretty good and close by and we should go. Would you consider this asking someone out? Set up a day and time, that would be where it becomes asking them out. You're very close and she seems plenty interested so why not give it a shot? Nice work on just going for it. Can't wait for destiny to come knocking on your door.
sillyanswer Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Would you consider this asking someone out? Did she say "yes"?
Author photogeek Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Set up a day and time, that would be where it becomes asking them out. You're very close and she seems plenty interested so why not give it a shot? Nice work on just going for it. Can't wait for destiny to come knocking on your door. I was going to set a date and time, but I just wanted to get my feet wet, I am planning on next time I see her to do so. Or if she mentions it first then it will be finalized. Did she say "yes"? She kind of did, she was like "yeah we should" but then we were interrupted by some other coworkers so the conversation quickly shifted.
iKING Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I was going to set a date and time, but I just wanted to get my feet wet, I am planning on next time I see her to do so. Or if she mentions it first then it will be finalized. She kind of did, she was like "yeah we should" but then we were interrupted by some other coworkers so the conversation quickly shifted. Odds are she's interested, time to sink that hook and give it a try.
MsSmurf Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I was going to set a date and time, but I just wanted to get my feet wet, I am planning on next time I see her to do so. Or if she mentions it first then it will be finalized. She kind of did, she was like "yeah we should" but then we were interrupted by some other coworkers so the conversation quickly shifted. So you know that she's interested in seeing you outside of work which means you have the green light to ask her out. Now you just need to pick a day and time and ask if that works for her. Don't forget to get her number so you can confirm outside of work.
Fondue Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Have a firm date and time, and tell her that's when you'll be taking her there. Don't be like, "well, how is your schedule like," "what days are you free," etc. etc., actually have something set in stone and tell her that. She will either say, "yah! I'll see you there!" Or "well, I'm actually not available on that day, but how about...?" Worst case scenario is that she says: "sorry, I'd rather not," which I don't think she would because she already said she would like to join you there. Goodluck!
CryForNoOne Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 The best advice I can give to guys who have a hard time asking girls out is to be direct and assertive. This was a huge problem for me in the past but not any longer. Sadly for me it took a marriage and divorce to come to my senses. Well into my 20s I had the hardest time even asking a girl out. The times I did, I was pretty inept but I was rarely turned down because I only did so when it was a slam dunk. Do that for too long and you wind up settling and marrying someone that you think is the "best you can do". After my divorce I realized I couldn't settle any longer and finally got some balls. Now here I am wondering how different my high school and college experience would have been had I just manned up a long time ago. Nowadays I have no problem approaching women at bars that I used to consider "out of my league". Just make up something to say that is in context to what's happening. If they have any interest at all they'll be friendly and you'll be chatting in no time. If not, part ways politely and don't dwell on the rejection or think it's the end of the world. Move on. In the context of meeting someone at work or something like that, look for an angle to segue your conversation to asking her out. THIS IS IMMENSELY IMPORTANT! Unless you are a total stud, I know few guys who can just straight up ask a girl out like a cold call. It just doesn't happen. I used to think that was the way it had to be done and I got so intimidated and never did anything. Find out her interests in food, movies etc. Drop little playful hints. She'll pick up on them and her response will tell you everything once you become more familiar at interpreting women's subtle ways of communicating. Finally, when you're ready to ask her out, you suggest something that is relevant and specific to her and you have to be assertive and confident. ALL women love confident (not cocky or arrogant) men. The girl I just started seeing is an well educated actress and I would have considered her "totally out of my league" 10 years ago. Even though she showed obvious interest I would have futzed around and done the "maybe we can go out some time" line and totally blown it. But what I did is find out where she worked, what nights, and a restaurant she liked around there - all in casual convo. So that night I texted her "Hey if your working at <restaurant> tomorrow lets meet up at <place she loves> after your off and get some good eats and sake". Her reply was "I'm off around 10". Again would have totally blown it 10 years ago. Practice makes perfect just like anything else.
Keenly Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I would consider that the first half of asking her out. Say that, gauge reaction, set up day and time, done.
Recommended Posts