ThatDudeAgain Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hello LS community, First, I am new to this forum so I apologize if I posted this in the wrong section, lol. Anyway, let me keep this brief. I have a friend that I've known for almost 2 years now, and we're in the same program in college. We have the same classes, we eat together during breaks, we do study groups all the time, we hang out for leisure activities, etc. During the time we've been friends, we got to know each other well. Eventually, I developed romantic feelings for her. So, not wanting to hide my feelings, I confessed to her. Of course, she said she would rather just stay friends, and since I value our friendship, I said I was okay with that. I am still her friend, and we still get along like we used to before I confessed. However, with all the time we spend together, I am just falling for her even more. I've thought about limiting the time we spend together to resolve that, but since we're in the same program in college, it's almost impossible to do that. I thought about not attending the study group that we do on weekends, but our other friends also join that study group and they rely on me. I've even cut back on hanging out with her for leisure activities and yet we still see each other a lot. So... I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I guess I would like some input/advice on how to appropriately handle my feelings towards her? Any comment, input, advice, rant?, or whatever will be appreciated. Thanks! =)
iKING Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 This is going to get moved to the section specifically for this occurrence but I think it'll keep the replies. To avoid some unneeded pain, pull back on the emotional involvement with this girl, if you came clean and she didn't seem terribly interested, It's probably not going to go your way any time soon. That doesn't mean that it'll never happen. However it's likely not going to happen anytime soon. If it gets to be too much a burden to bear, reduce your contact to a bear minimum (since you can't go NC in this case) and start looking elsewhere. Good job on being straight up about it, that takes guts. No matter if it worked out, does work out, or never works out, you stayed true to yourself and that's a good quality to have. Keep your chin up! 1
todreaminblue Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hello LS community, First, I am new to this forum so I apologize if I posted this in the wrong section, lol. Anyway, let me keep this brief. I have a friend that I've known for almost 2 years now, and we're in the same program in college. We have the same classes, we eat together during breaks, we do study groups all the time, we hang out for leisure activities, etc. During the time we've been friends, we got to know each other well. Eventually, I developed romantic feelings for her. So, not wanting to hide my feelings, I confessed to her. Of course, she said she would rather just stay friends, and since I value our friendship, I said I was okay with that. I am still her friend, and we still get along like we used to before I confessed. However, with all the time we spend together, I am just falling for her even more. I've thought about limiting the time we spend together to resolve that, but since we're in the same program in college, it's almost impossible to do that. I thought about not attending the study group that we do on weekends, but our other friends also join that study group and they rely on me. I've even cut back on hanging out with her for leisure activities and yet we still see each other a lot. So... I'm not really sure what I'm looking for. I guess I would like some input/advice on how to appropriately handle my feelings towards her? Any comment, input, advice, rant?, or whatever will be appreciated. Thanks! =) similar situation , its awkward isnt it......i feel the only logical thing for you to do is go no contact.......complete no contact.......the only thing is logic and I have parted company for a while...so i wont say do th eno cotnact thing straight away i suggest you follow your heart....if i t becomes to uncomfortable and painful like the girl you have fallen for starts a relationship you can go no contact i would suggest if this situation arises that you should go no contact.......if you feel being her friend is causing undue heart ache that is impossible for you to face then even though your friends rely on you....you must rely on them to be true friends and true friends would not want to see you unhappy.....you can distance yourself go no contact and heal...true friends would be supportive of that desire for you to heal....if it means distance from groups where you have to see her, i am sure they would understand...best wishes........deb
Author ThatDudeAgain Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 Thank you for the input so far. There will be a few weeks when we won't be having exams one after another, so it will be the perfect time to not attend our study groups. I can't do a "no contact" as of the moment, so I will try to keep contact at a bare minimum and see how it goes.
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