thelastjukeboxromeo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hi all, Last December I met a girl in college who I really connected with. I got her number and we chatted on the phone and texted each other for a few days before I asked her out. Our first date was pretty good, and I got the feeling that she was a very down to earth girl. Unfortunately, this was right before winter break, and we both went back to our hometowns. However, we kept in contact the whole time. She called me every single day, regardless of whether I picked up or not. Even though we didn't see each other, we grew really close over the break, and she told me that she was really glad that I was in her life and that she couldn't wait for our second date when we got back to school. When we did get back we made plans to go to the zoo, but a day before our date she told me , "I can't go this weekend I have a lot of things that I stupidly put off that I have to do." I told her not to worry about it, but after that she didn't text or call me for a week (We live 40 min away from each other so phone and IM are the only ways we communicate). I texted her asking what was up, and she said that I didn't know how busy she was. She said her scholarship got ****ed up, and that she had a lot of other things on her plate that she couldn't tell me about because she would be too tired to talk by the time she came home every night. Almost three weeks have passed since then, during which she tried to call me only once. I would text her from time to time, and she would reply sporadically. I tried asking her out last weekend, but she had a school mentoring program. Now, it's one thing if she's actually busy, which I believe, to an extent, she is. But she keeps posting instagram pics of her with her friends, which leads me to believe she does have time, just not for me. A couple of days ago I called her and left a voicemail saying that I would appreciate it if she would make 10 minutes to call me back, and that I felt like maybe it would be better for us to go on hiatus. It has been 4 days and she has not gotten back to me. How could someone be so disrespectful? I don't understand what is going on. Usually in these cases, the girl simply has lost interest, but why would she deny that and insist that she is busy, while at the same time blatantly posting pictures of her hanging out with her friends? I'd really appreciate any insight or advice. Sorry about the length of this. I got a bit worked up writing it haha. Thanks in advance for all who read this!
ltjg45 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Can a girl be "too busy"? Definitely. However, from what I read, she likes to make up a bunch of excuses, regardless if they are legit or not. The 1st red flag is when she told you ONE DAY before your scheduled date to the zoo that she will be busy that weekend. Why didn't she tell you this earlier, like a week ahead of time? Did she even explain in detail what she was doing that weekend? The 2nd red flag is, like you said, she won't explain some of the things that apparently is taking up her time. It's like she is hiding something from you, something that you don't need to know. This can mean all kinds of things. Too many questions. Not enough answers. Unfortunately, there is two things that is currently against you. 1. You said that you gave her your number. Did you ever get hers? If you did, did you ever call her? Maybe she was getting the vibe that she was being too aggressive and was waiting to see if you can return the favor some more. 2. You never said that you two was in an actual relationship. So what she is doing right now is pretty much fair game. You two are talking to each others, dating, but not in an exclusive relationship. She may have just lost interest in you. Is it your fault? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. All I can say is contact her and see where you two stand. If you don't get an answer, start looking elsewhere.
Ladybugz Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hahaha are you spying on the girl?hope not lol I think dating or invest in a new person ask More of you .but with friend you can lose all The stress and they know you to understand .saying yes to you also means some how that she have interest. so what ever comes from that add more stress. and if your mind is not into it ,it will be more stress. so I think she is just saying she cant right now.. and not going with you doesn't mean she need to be locked up Till she go out with you.hellloooooooo
Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 A girl can definitely be too busy, but it seems like in HER case, she's just making bad excuses. When I was in college I had a period of time where I was taking 21 units and working 2 jobs. I barely had time to sleep, let alone attempt to be social. It was a bad time haha.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 ...she had a lot of other things on her plate that she couldn't tell me about because she would be too tired to talk by the time she came home every night. Almost three weeks have passed since then, during which she tried to call me only once. I would text her from time to time, and she would reply sporadically. I tried asking her out last weekend, but she had a school mentoring program. Now, it's one thing if she's actually busy, which I believe, to an extent, she is. But she keeps posting instagram pics of her with her friends, which leads me to believe she does have time, just not for me. A couple of days ago I called her and left a voicemail saying that I would appreciate it if she would make 10 minutes to call me back, and that I felt like maybe it would be better for us to go on hiatus. It has been 4 days and she has not gotten back to me. How could someone be so disrespectful? I don't understand what is going on. Usually in these cases, the girl simply has lost interest, but why would she deny that and insist that she is busy, while at the same time blatantly posting pictures of her hanging out with her friends? I'd really appreciate any insight or advice. Sorry about the length of this. I got a bit worked up writing it haha. Thanks in advance for all who read this! Seems you know the answer already, Kemosabe. She has lost interest. New semester. New friends. New guys. New possibilities. New realities. Being 40 minutes away and accessible primarily via IM and phone certainly didn't help your cause unfortunately. Please stop stalking her Facebook and Instagram accounts. Time to get on with your life. Hers is certainly steaming right along. You should move on too.
Author thelastjukeboxromeo Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks for the replies! ltjg45: I think she told me only a day before our scheduled date because she thought she could handle whatever she had to do. We both have each other's numbers. I called her twice in these three weeks, both led to voicemail. Once she texted me saying she was babysitting and had time to talk, but before I could reply she sent another text saying that she was wrong and that she couldn't talk right now. As for her maybe being too aggressive, I don't think that's the case. She really doesn't seem like the type to play games. But you're right, it does appear like she is hiding something. ladybugz: Sorry, I couldn't really understand some of the things you were saying haha. But no, I'm not stalking her. It's just one of those newsfeed things that's kind of unavoidable if you're friends with the person on instagram or facebook. Phoe: She's like you. She works as a babysitter and a tutor, but I'm not sure if her courseload is as intensive as yours was. She told me that she just doesn't have the time to sit around talking to me. I don't understand how anyone cannot have 10 min for a phone call, especially if that person has been calling you and texting you every day for the past month. Maybe it's because whenever we do talk, we do for hours. Still, it's disrespectful. Cutiepie: I don't believe she has a new guy in her life. She's one of those girls who holds on to a single guy as long as she can. Plus, she goes to a university where 75% of the student body is female, and half of the male population is homosexual. The distance was never a problem before (She lives in San Francisco and I live in Berkeley) I would see her on weekends, and she was fine with talking on the phone or through Skype, which we did for hours into the night. But maybe I'm just beleiving what I want to believe. I've unfollowed her on instagram, but I'm not going to unfriend her on facebook. I believe that's immature, but I will try to avoid her profile. To everybody: I know it's highly likely that she just lost interest, and maybe I made it worse by sort of calling her out on it in my voicemail, but I can't seem to forget how much she was into me just a day before she cancelled our date 3 weeks ago. As I said before, we got really close over winter break (or so I thought). She told me things about her life that she has never told anyone, and she made it clear to me that she wanted to continue dating. I guess I'm just disappointed because she really was a considerate girl before this, and now it appears she's blowing me off. I wish she would be direct with me. PS: I am trying to move on, but most of the attractive girls here at Cal are taken. I seriously had a string of 5 strangers who I approached that all had boyfriends haha.
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