crystal.mayer Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I know that no one can make a decision for me. I just need some opinions so that I know I'm making a wise decision, one that's in my best interest. I've been dating this guy for about a year. He's 19 and I'm 23. I'm thinking seriously about breaking up with him. 1. He can be a real jerk, he makes me feel bad about myself. He says things like "you don't even have a car" I'm a med student and right now I can't afford those things because I spend everything on my classes. Then he calls me a whore and a dirty b**** just because he's had one person which is me and I have a sexual history with my 4 bfs. 2. He needed some money this week about 200 dollars. I really didn't have the extra spending money but I decided that I would sacrifice and give him 250 dollars because he was in a bad place at the time. Then tonight we were having sex and he accidentally came inside of me. He seemed like he didn't even care about it, like he was ok with doing that. So I told him he needed to get me the plan B pill, I didn't have enough because I gave him my money. He promised and he said he didn't have his wallet so he was going to go home and come back and get it for me. He never came back! He just left. Which shows he's not even mature to be having sex if he can't take responsibility. 3. While we were hanging out tonight he said something that just turned me off he said, "well i'm 19 I shouldn't be responsible for anything and if you had a kid because of me I'd go to court and deny everything. I wouldn't have anything to do with it, even if we were together for 8 years. If you wanted an abortion I'd help you" 4. I don't need this extra stress, I'm a med student who's also 23, I'm looking for different things than a 19 year old. He says he's so in love with me but I picture the man who loves me as acting in different ways, not unrealistic ways but just at least being a standup guy.
Kristopher1 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 All I can say is, I wish I had somebody like you. If it's advice your looking for then I wouldn't stay with this guy and I'm sure he will just cause you more problems down the line. I personally don't know how anyone can speak in that manner! You need to be treated with respect and you deserve far, far better. My brother is a med student too, it's not easy at all. I would have said try work things out if you love him and give it time, but after reading what you wrote I wouldn't even bother! Let him go, get on with your life, work hard and you will find somebody much better!
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 He's trash. Leave him. Why waste your time on an abusive leech. I'm sure his cumming inside of you, was all accidental. What a jerk. Never let a Guy **** you when he's like this or angry: never knowing what they might do. Point is. Breakup with him. Another point: you're too invested with Med school ATM. You should focus on that before any relationship. You barely have money for.
jagdude14 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Freaking leave his trash a**. Do you know how many great guys are looking for a great girl like u. I for one wish I had a GF that treated me with respect and you deserve the same in return. You are in med school and are hanging out and dating this leech ? Sorry to be harsh but come on
Author crystal.mayer Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 All I can say is, I wish I had somebody like you. If it's advice your looking for then I wouldn't stay with this guy and I'm sure he will just cause you more problems down the line. I personally don't know how anyone can speak in that manner! You need to be treated with respect and you deserve far, far better. My brother is a med student too, it's not easy at all. I would have said try work things out if you love him and give it time, but after reading what you wrote I wouldn't even bother! Let him go, get on with your life, work hard and you will find somebody much better! Thanks a lot really appreciate the advice! Sometimes these things are things we already know, we just need to hear it from someone else. 1
Author crystal.mayer Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 One would assume I would be smarter than that 1
confused836 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'm also in med school and the last thing you need is someone to distract you as much as he is doing. If he doesn't understand the stress that you are going through with boards and rotations then he doesn't deserve you. There are plenty of better guys out there and I would just cut him off as quickly as you can and move on.
Survivor12 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 He's verbally abusive, immature, a mooch, a liar, irresponsible and an idiot. I would assume that you, being in medical school, must be relatively intelligent. So, I am confused as to why you feel the need for opinions about breaking up with a guy who is such an obvious creep? Also, being a medical student, I would think that you would know that having unprotected sex can result in pregnancy sans ejaculation. In other words, he wasn't the only one being irresponsible. One more thing...it is not healthy to rely on Plan B as a contraceptive. Get on the pill, the shot or use condoms (preferably condoms for disease protection in addition to another form of birth control). Sorry to be so harsh, but you are a young woman with a bright future ahead of you so it's time that you start taking better care of yourself.
Author crystal.mayer Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 He's verbally abusive, immature, a mooch, a liar, irresponsible and an idiot. I would assume that you, being in medical school, must be relatively intelligent. So, I am confused as to why you feel the need for opinions about breaking up with a guy who is such an obvious creep? Also, being a medical student, I would think that you would know that having unprotected sex can result in pregnancy sans ejaculation. In other words, he wasn't the only one being irresponsible. One more thing...it is not healthy to rely on Plan B as a contraceptive. Get on the pill, the shot or use condoms (preferably condoms for disease protection in addition to another form of birth control). Sorry to be so harsh, but you are a young woman with a bright future ahead of you so it's time that you start taking better care of yourself. You're absolutely right! I need to start thinking about what I do more. 1
H3Drvr Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 What is about him that's making you stay? Doesn't seem like much at all.
mishy Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You could do so much better. His abuse will get worse. Google emotional abuse and see for yourself. Honestly just dump him and meet a nice med student who will treat you like a princess 1
beyond Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I only read reason no 1 and that was enough!!! Why would you be with anyone who calls you a 'whore'????!!!! Does he pass the 'sister' test? That is, imagine this is your sister/best friend/someone you love very much, writing that first post. If you read that from them, what would your advice be? It's a no brainer really isn't it. I know it's hard to see clearly sometimes when you care for someone, but seriously, you need to love yourself enough to know you deserve better. It's good you have posted here because we can all stand back and tell you what we see from your post without the emotional attachment that you feel for this guy. Good luck with your studies and please don't waste another minute with someone who treats you like this. 1
Exitleft Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You can do better. You sound like a smart and driven young woman, do not let losers and abusers hold you back. Continue with your studies and meet someone worthy of your time.
Author crystal.mayer Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Thanks to everyone for all their help and amazing advice! I'll be sure to take it.
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