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Still hope to hear from ex

OneNote

By OneNote
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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OneNote Member

OneNote

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Iv been no contact for 3 weeks but miss my ex so much. Does anyone else still hope to hear from their ex? Just to know they are thinking about you, miss you or hasn't forgotten you?

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jagdude14 Established Member

jagdude14

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Honestly just made a similar post about this myself. Yes I do.

jagdude14 Established Member

jagdude14

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Don't know your situation. I did not do anything to cause it it was out of no where. To just get kicked off her planet bothers me. I lived her so much but I do know I can't contact her. I tried once she knows how I feel but I can't keep pushing. It hurts a ton.

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OneNote Member

OneNote

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My ex is the only thing on my mind I have come so close to texting so many times but I know it will only end badly and hurt more after it. How long have you been doing nc for?

jagdude14 Established Member

jagdude14

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Well right after the breakup I went 1 wk without talking then I tried. I asked if she wanted to talk or me out of her life. She responded she wants to talk just needs time. I let another wk go bye and this was as close as I got to begging. I asked for another chance and said I missed her and stuff. Nothing came out of it. I told her I'd let her contact me and respect her. I have been no contact for 36 days. I de activated my fbook so I see no posts and I am off twitter. I saw her drive past me last wk while jogging and it killed. I miss her so much and live her. I treated her the best and never was clingy pre and post break up. I will not be the crazy ex. I miss her a ton but I did nothing wrong. While I want to her from her I would not take her back unless she came strong and made changes. I deserve to be respected as I respected her. To be broken up theough text with lied to and and kicked out of her life when I was nothing but positive kills. I am lost but I do not want to go back to where I was which is what contacting her and getting ignored will be. I am a man of my word just as I said I love her I also said I'd let her contact me and respect her and I am doing that even though I am not respected

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cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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Iv been no contact for 3 weeks but miss my ex so much. Does anyone else still hope to hear from their ex? Just to know they are thinking about you, miss you or hasn't forgotten you?

 

Trust me you don't want to here from them. It just messes with your mind. Even a nice text makes you wonder if you should break NC, what are they thinking etcetera.

 

Remember the ultimate goal is to be indifferent and not be thinking about them. Any communication just brings them into your present again and makes it harder to move on.

 

I got a super nice email (did a thread on it). I didn't respond but it set my recovery back weeks. I never want to here from her again. It just messes up your recovery

 

Ill contact her if i want after I'm indifferent enough to hang out with her and her new boyfriend. :)

Edited by cavalier99
iouaname Established Member

iouaname

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Hearing from my ex is definitely not the problem - it's hearing what I want to hear. Otherwise, I'm happier being no contact and not knowing anything about him!

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jagdude14 Established Member

jagdude14

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I feel like the only guy on this site sometimes with women issues. I am not sure how you ladies were treated but you deserve a great guy

SendHope Member

SendHope

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I went NC for one month and reached out to her. I wanted to talk and finalize everything. She flaked on me.

 

The thing is: It didn't bother me that much. I just texted her that she's free to junk all my stuff and to throw away my love letters that she tells me she will be keeping before I went NC. She insisted that she wants to be friends in the future repeatedly and I kept shutting her down. I said there's no way even in the future. I wanted to say that we have a better chance reconciling than being friends but clamped that down. I was civil about it and in no ways mean.

 

After all of it, I felt validated that it was for the best. I still have some slight flutter in my chest every now and then about what could have been but it's not as crippling as before. It's amazing how one month of NC does when you're mind is determined to get better.

NoLeafClover Established Member

NoLeafClover

Posted
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Iv been no contact for 3 weeks but miss my ex so much. Does anyone else still hope to hear from their ex? Just to know they are thinking about you, miss you or hasn't forgotten you?

 

Honestly just made a similar post about this myself. Yes I do.

 

 

 

You guys are doing NC for the wrong reasons. You will never going to move on if you keep hoping for breadcrumbs.

This simply tells me you will give in to the smallest breadcrumbs right away (Let alone if they were at the level my ex's breadcrumbs were)

FailedFirstLove Established Member

FailedFirstLove

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when I went Nc at the beginning I wanted I hear from him badly... But after a month I was slowly coping a tiny bit better and no longer wanted to because it would screw me over and make me a mess again... And it was true. His fried contacted me. And guess what! I WAS A COMPLETE MESS.

Sososad Established Member

Sososad

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Feel the exact same as you pal.. And think alot of people here feel the same too even they won't admit it..

I guess no contact from them makes u feel like your not even a passing thought whereas at least a breadcrumb text means we crossed there mind at least for a second ..

But hey who knows maybe they've thought of texting us lots hell even

Wrote a message but never sent.. Who knows ...

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OneNote Member

OneNote

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Thank you for all the advice!! How long as everyone been nc? I'm on week 3 when does it start getting easier... i want the missing feeling to go away.

iouaname Established Member

iouaname

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You guys are doing NC for the wrong reasons.

 

There is no such thing as no contact for the wrong reasons. There's only one reason to go no contact -- because you've ended a relationship.

 

The feelings and hopes that you have after going no contact have to just work themselves out, but they aren't right or wrong.

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SendHope Member

SendHope

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For me about a month.

 

Compared to day 1, I feel it's leaps and bounds better. I no longer have anxiety and panic attacks when it comes to her. I do still miss her but it's not as intense and overwhelming. I've started somewhat letting go of any notion of reconciliation. I just figured or confident "You have no idea what you chose to miss out on. No one will ever treat you like I did."

 

Is that last part true? Of course not but I'm confident in myself that is most likely the case.

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OneNote Member

OneNote

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I seem to be fighting and losing battle... i'm trying so hard to move on with my life but I just can't get my ex out of my head no matter how hard I try. I find myself wondering what my she is up to constantly and wondering if she misses me too.

Ready36 Member

Ready36

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For the longst time, I longed for contact. I broke NC. Was it the right thing to do? Who knows, I don't know what impression she has of me now - nor do I care at this moment in time. I was really, really good to her. If she ended it - her loss, I hope she regrets it in time.

 

I'm feeling pretty good at the moment, if I do bump into her again (unlikely) it will be a pleasant hello but no more. She probably wouldn't even care - but I just like the idea that it may leave her thinking, wodering, what i'm up to. Not in the sense that I long necessarily for reconilitation. But I would like her to be questioning one day "did I make the right call?" just so she could go through a tiny fraction of the doubt I have had to go through the last few months.

 

***k her.....

becks77 Established Member

becks77

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Trust me you don't want to here from them. It just messes with your mind. Even a nice text makes you wonder if you should break NC, what are they thinking etcetera.

 

Remember the ultimate goal is to be indifferent and not be thinking about them. Any communication just brings them into your present again and makes it harder to move on.

 

I got a super nice email (did a thread on it). I didn't respond but it set my recovery back weeks. I never want to here from her again. It just messes up your recovery

 

Ill contact her if i want after I'm indifferent enough to hang out with her and her new boyfriend. :)

 

I agree! See my post today about why NOT to break NC - I did and all I feel now is a world of pain - honestly it hurts to wonder but it hurts even more to hear from them - it will set you back!

  • Like 1
Thunderchild Established Member

Thunderchild

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Keep the Faith, Mon Braves!! I've been NC for 8 days and the thought of reconciliation is fading ever quicker. She cheated on me, so I have no trust, don't believe her and I have no respect for her. She was not even prepared to accept responsiblity for what she had done - she just made excuses.

 

At 44, she is pregnant to the guy from the drunken one night stand she claims to have had behind my back - I suspect it was a longer term thing. She had previously been told that she couldn't have children. So, in the great scheme of things, I can't see her relinquishing the 'last chance' child (if she carries it to term - 44 is a bit late) over someone with whom she suddenly 'saw no future with' (!)

 

So, I've switched off my mobile phone (having scrubbed all her contact details). We used to text like crazy, so I got into the habit of carrying the mobile with me all the time. Now, it is downstairs on the TV table; switched off. That's one more habit broken. It'll get switched on again at 9 tomorrow morning.

 

I'm going to go NC as long as possible, perhaps, 60 days, (for myself) and contact her with regard to some of the stuff of mine that is at her house, plus I still have a set of keys for her place (5 years is a long time). I might not even go round and collect it myself, but send some friends with the van. That way she can get the message that I've disappeared from her life for good. I'll miss her dogs, I was quite fond of them. Thankfully, we didn't have children to complicate matters.

 

I suspect there will be very few breadcrumbs. At the breakup, I didn't grovel or whine, I challenged her to take responsibility for what she'd done, contradicted her excuse-itis and threw her out of my home in an assertive (angry) manner. She now knows that I don't take any cr*p. So, Breadcrumbs will be rare.

 

Live Long & Prosper!

Edited by Thunderchild
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