tothenext27 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Hy everyone! I'm new to this site. It's the first time i post on a forum like this but I'm feeling really sad. I'm embarrased because it's been 4 months since I stopped seeing a guy i was casually dating. Not even a relationship, and i can't seem to move on. I fell hard for this guy, was finally ready to be in a serious relationship until i got the 'we are going to fast, i don't wan to be exclusive' speech. It's been hard. I've tried everything; no contact for 2 months, then I texted him and we hooked up once. Never answered his phone again. Haven't talked to him since then. I've been out on some dates but didn't click with anybody, I'm working out, eating healthy, working and studying like a crazy person, volunteering, doing this one-photo a day of something happy project, anything you can think off, I've tried. Still, im in pain. I wasn't even his girlfriend! how silly I am, right? Everyday seems harder. I'm just sad. I wish i could just reset my mind.
Apolodor Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You need to give it time to come to terms with the situation you are in. If he has made it clear that he is not seriously interested in you, there isn't really much you can do. Of course you can continue to humiliate yourself and keep trying to get in touch with him, but is it really worth it? You'll only destroy your self-confidence even more, and it will take longer to get back into the proverbial saddle. During such times it's best that you socialise as much as you can (with your girl friends, for instance). Being on your own can only make things worse, because even if you try to get physically busy, your brain will dwell on the lack of a romantic relationship in your life, etc, etc. From what you say it appears that this man was some sort of f-buddy. What did you expect?? To get a marriage proposal from him? It's always a good idea to think about the implications of your actions so that you don't end up in situations like this in the future. ps. In case you haven't noticed there thousands and thousands of good looking men out there.....
Kaza Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 What did you like about him? Why is he so good? Check if you're still putting him on a pedestral. Today it occurred to me, my closest friends who I love dearly are all people who do what they say they'll do, or they try their best. They're genuinely nice people who don't stand me up. My ex is a person whose actions and words don't match, he makes decisions, he backtracks, he says let's do this and that and never happens. He can't match up to my friends let alone be my best friend and a good boyfriend.
Author tothenext27 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 It makes sense Kaza. He is a really nice person. Problem is, for him, i'm just not enough to be girlfriend material. He is very attractive, fit, caring, smart, finishing med school (im a young physician myself). The first couple of weeks we were dating, at least that's what i thought. He seemed to be very into it. I'm usually very cautious and don't open up easily but this time i fell hard. I even baked cookies for this guy (i know, i know) you should have seen his face of horror when he saw me baking (really funny). I took him to one of the best restaurants when i felt we were losing contact and fel that impending departure. Had great sex and blah blah Next day i got the cold, hard we are going to fast, i want you to be around just don't wanna feel bad if i go out with other people. Ouch! I played it cool. Say yeah i want the same, I'm not ready to date. Unfortunately he left his watch at my place. Next day i drove to his place. Told him that it was true i wasn't ready to date. Just wanted something casual just not with him. Told him I was already liking him to much and i knew how that was going to end. (Big lie, i did wanted and want a relationship, and i was in dumb, silly love) Gave him a hug, said thank you and good-bye. Kept my pride but a broken heart. I made that decision. I knew it was going to be a circle of humiliation and pain. I got out. I think we have to stick and learn from the decisions we make. It sucks, i'm still sad despite my efforts. A little depressed. I consider myself strong and have accomplished many things with hard work. I wish i knew how to handle this. Oh, well thanks for reading...
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