Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I find it interesting that you choose to associate only with TAKEN men. I wonder why this is? Well, the majority of my male friends are men that I have been friends with since we were kids. I'm not going to actively stop being friends with them once they are taken. They all went through phases of being single or taken, but now that we're in our mid 20's they've all settled down. I'm just the straggler, really.
Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Are these guy friends really your friends? When there are mixed-gender, group activities (bbqs for example), are you not invited or something? Foster those friendships with the wives! Unfortunately, with those particular men who's girlfriends do not like me, no I am not included in mixed-gender activities, and I'm noticing that our friendships are slipping. I am hesitant to look at someone who's been my friend for 15 years and suddenly say they are not my friend anymore just because there's been more distance lately, less communication... but I have to admit that perhaps I can only consider them acquaintances from now on. The guys recently had a WWE night and while the guys all gathered around the TV, I stayed back with the wives and baked cookies in the kitchen and just got to know them all better. I'm hoping to continue having more get togethers like this. 1
Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You certainly sound like a real catch to me. The way you look at dating basically matches up perfectly with mine. I personally don't think you need to change anything. You are perfectly fine just the way you are. Thank you, you're quite kind! :) 1
Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 As far as online dating goes It's a bit of a crap-shoot, but you won't know until you try. It'll at the very least get you out there, which is better then nothing. You could also try something like meet-up, it'll allow you to enter casual environments with others who share your interests, which may or may not open up opportunities. You're a sweet girl, you'll find a guy! Keep that chin up Thank you! I think a meet-up kind of environment would be awesome. Less pressure, and likely a lot of fun! Good grief I sure took over this thread, sorry! haha
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 The guys recently had a WWE night and while the guys all gathered around the TV, I stayed back with the wives and baked cookies in the kitchen and just got to know them all better. I'm hoping to continue having more get togethers like this. Good job bonding with the ladies. Next time, send the men in the kitchen! 1
iKING Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Thank you! I think a meet-up kind of environment would be awesome. Less pressure, and likely a lot of fun! Good grief I sure took over this thread, sorry! haha My pleasure! Indeed so, and if It's already a prime interest in your life, it could serve as an ice breaker. You could also try getting involved in causes you support. Heck, I've known married couples who met at the grocery store and the book store. It doesn't even have to be targeted, just making yourself available for a chat can work. A lot of this stuff is going to likely need to be embarked upon as a solo journey or with the girls. Guys might assume you're taken if you're with a group of guys, from a guy's point of view, that's asking to get decked in the face when you accidentally assumed the girl was single in a large group of guys when it turns out she's one of their girl friends. Yeah, you pretty much took this one over! 1
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Guys might assume you're taken if you're with a group of guys, from a guy's point of view, that's asking to get decked in the face when you accidentally assumed the girl was single in a large group of guys when it turns out she's one of their girl friends. Good point. All those guy friends are ****-blocking you 1
Phoe Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Guys might assume you're taken if you're with a group of guys, from a guy's point of view, that's asking to get decked in the face when you accidentally assumed the girl was single in a large group of guys when it turns out she's one of their girl friends. THAT definitely makes a lot of sense, and I never even thought of it that way. I'm gonna have to start doing some solo activities... this is a really small town so there's not a lot to do... there's a bowling alley though. Maybe I'll join a league... My parents actually met at that bowling alley. My dad was in a league, my grandparents worked there and my mom tagged along every now and then. She approached him, asked him out. And here I am today! haha.
Submisfit Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 THIS... I'm frequently called a liar on this forum, and it's starting to bring me down. I'm here because I have a crap love life and I want help, I want to learn, I want to do something to improve my chances of finding a really great relationship, and I get called a liar, dismissed, and laughed at. When the men here assume that a OK looking young female ought to have men constantly pursuing her and trying to date her, seeing myself literally have the most difficult time makes me wonder what the heck is wrong with me... it sucks, truth be told. If you don't mind my asking, what do you do to make yourself approachable? As a smart, dorky, and slightly awkward guy with friends who are largely the same, I can say that I often feel discouraged about approaching girls who fit the common definition of physically attractive; a lot more guys are shy and easily intimidated than you might think. Have you considered making the first move, or at the very least trying to initiate a friendship with a guy of your type? It's a lot easier for us to try to start something if you've given a clear sign of interest. Even if that interest is just being the one to invite us on non-romantic activities. I don't know a single guy that I would classify as "like me" in terms of personality who ever does the cold approach. What sort of outside work activities do you do? Joining a gaming group, volunteer project, or coed sports team (just to name some diverse examples,) can be great ways to meet people, and lets you get to know them (and them get to know you) in a much more relaxed setting than bars/OLD/whatever.
Krieger Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I did not read this post but I will say this. Men and woman often try to find the perfect person and well there is no such thing . people want what they can not have and once they have it they do not want it . That leads you to fail to see a great person right in front of there nose and pass them up not giving them a shot. I know I will never be perfect but I am just trying to work on my weakness and highlight my strengths.
ltjg45 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I did not read this post but I will say this. Men and woman often try to find the perfect person and well there is no such thing . people want what they can not have and once they have it they do not want it . That leads you to fail to see a great person right in front of there nose and pass them up not giving them a shot. I know I will never be perfect but I am just trying to work on my weakness and highlight my strengths. Oh, how many times I have seen that in my life. It really does make me depressed seeing this.
Krieger Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Oh, how many times I have seen that in my life. It really does make me depressed seeing this. It does happen a lot now days it just how it is some times. This does apply to woman as well . The main cause is the relationship gets boring after a few years and the man becomes used to the girl and takes her for granted. Then starts to think maybe we should see other people. He starts flirting with girls at work . Then tells himself the hot bartender with tattoos and a tongue stud wants him. Then works up the guts to tell his girl he needs his space ,but right when he is about to do it she dumps him and he is miserable consumed by the idea she the only woman form him. funny how that works you do not know what you have until it is gone. if woman wear smart they dump there guy every 3 months to keep it fresh. men do not know them self's well enough to see that leaving one woman for the next does nothing to prevent boredom from setting in. The only solution is for woman not to let a man get comfortable . for comfort breeds a listless ambivalence the backbone of all the suffering. Men should never have the time or the opportunity to consider other options for those options lead nowhere. Pick a girl , one girl ,and imagine the world without her. And you"ll probably never leave. that was some advice I has given I think it is good advice IMO. 2
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 This makes me laugh..... Generally i find those that speak something on how they act or want to act, generally are voicing the oppersite of how they actually will be (there compensating). "i will only have kids once i am with someone i can be with for life" (this was said to me in 1998 (the last woman i had sex with). She had an abortion (more than once I think, one with me), now has 4-5 kids, over 3 guys i think, been married 3 times (i think) and moves around USA.... so what the hell was i told???? Ive seen this from many people (not just about dating, works in jobs as well, they always tell you something which is the absolute opposite or trying to back up what they want to think they are).
Mme. Chaucer Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 That's interesting because I know several guys who will give those women exactly that but they're simply not on the radar for a lot of girls. I don't know why they're not on the radar, but the fact is that people really have to connect in a pretty serious way in order for a real relationship to happen. So even if a person has everything to give, it doesn't mean they're going to find the right person to give it to easily. I think women and men are both experiencing it. 2
Els Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Uh, everyone DOES want a person who is what they consider to be THEIR 'perfect match'. Looking for a girl who satisfies all your requirements? (And yes, I know ALL of you have requirements, you'll say you don't, but a few questions later the truth pops up). Well, there you have it. You're looking for your 'perfect match'. "But what I want is much more common than what she wants!" you cry. Firstly, how do you know it's more common? What if her perfect match is just an employed, non-obese guy who takes care of her and makes her laugh? What if she is open to a much wider age range, or body shape range, or size range, than you are? Secondly, if what you want is so 'common' then why are you not getting it while other men are getting theirs? Time for some introspection. 2
SJC2008 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Hmm I wonder if it's mine?? For every woman who says it's hard for them to get a relationship there's a man that says why can't I get a relationship. For every woman who says men only want sex, there's a man who says why are the men who only want sex getting all the sex? Join the club OP.
Els Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 As for Monica herself having trouble finding a guy... IMO being a very successful and famous model and actress would work against you rather than for you if you want a serious long-term relationship. As unfortunate as it is, success just isn't the opposite-sex-magnet for women that it is for men. I don't think 'successful and famous' is on the top of many men's list - sure there are some, but not as many as vice versa. And many people, male and female, who are after LTRs, just don't go for celebrities. It could be a case of bad apples ruining the bunch, but very, very few relationships involving celebrities work out for the long term. So I don't think it's that "If Monica is having trouble, all other women are definitely having trouble." 4
somedude81 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) Uh, everyone DOES want a person who is what they consider to be THEIR 'perfect match'. Looking for a girl who satisfies all your requirements? (And yes, I know ALL of you have requirements, you'll say you don't, but a few questions later the truth pops up). Well, there you have it. You're looking for your 'perfect match'. While it would be amazing to be able to have a relationship with somebody I consider to be a perfect match, it's hardly a requirement. It's definitively not something that I am going to hold out for, which is exactly what the woman in this article did. I know that if I refuse to date anybody who isn't my perfect woman, I will die old, alone and miserable. What is necessary is being able to make concessions about what is truly important. "But what I want is much more common than what she wants!" you cry. Firstly, how do you know it's more common? What if her perfect match is just an employed, non-obese guy who takes care of her and makes her laugh? What if she is open to a much wider age range, or body shape range, or size range, than you are? Guys like that are a dime a dozen. As I said before, she has probably had hundreds of men interested in her. There is just no way that all of the men that have ever been interested in her would be considered undesirable by most women. Secondly, if what you want is so 'common' then why are you not getting it while other men are getting theirs?Simple. Life isn't fair. I also believe fate/God my have a grudge against me but that's getting off-topic. Edited February 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Els Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Guys like that are a dime a dozen. As I said before, she has probably had hundreds of men interested in her. There is just no way that all of the men that have ever been interested in her would be considered undesirable by most women. . Sticking to the topic, my guess is that her primary requirement is actually to have a guy who wants to settle down with her and be a father. I honestly don't think it's easy for a lingerie model and famous actress to find such a man. If tabloids about the celebrity world are any indication, the average lifespan of a celebrity R seems to be 2 months. I personally think that while famous models have far more men 'interested in her' than a typical woman, she's far less likely to get the sort of guy that really matters in the long term. 2
IndianGuy87 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Women have higher standards than men so it is definitely harder for them to find a man they like. 85% of women are usually attracted to and want only 15% of the men who they consider as top notch. If it wasn't for the concept of marriage existing between one man and one woman, more than half the guys would have died virgins because it would have been like the animal kingdom where 1 male has at least 20 females to mate with. In the end, the women need someone to support them financially so they end up settling for less due to the lack of available men they prefer (at least either sexy, tall, rich, or really muscular). Even if the men happen to be in the same league as them. People say there are many gorgeous women who go out with lesser good looking guys but it's because money talks.
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 It does happen a lot now days it just how it is some times. This does apply to woman as well . The main cause is the relationship gets boring after a few years and the man becomes used to the girl and takes her for granted. Then starts to think maybe we should see other people. He starts flirting with girls at work . Then tells himself the hot bartender with tattoos and a tongue stud wants him. Then works up the guts to tell his girl he needs his space ,but right when he is about to do it she dumps him and he is miserable consumed by the idea she the only woman form him. funny how that works you do not know what you have until it is gone. if woman wear smart they dump there guy every 3 months to keep it fresh. men do not know them self's well enough to see that leaving one woman for the next does nothing to prevent boredom from setting in. The only solution is for woman not to let a man get comfortable . for comfort breeds a listless ambivalence the backbone of all the suffering. Men should never have the time or the opportunity to consider other options for those options lead nowhere. Pick a girl , one girl ,and imagine the world without her. And you"ll probably never leave. that was some advice I has given I think it is good advice IMO. This bolded is great advice, for men or women. Taking each other for granted is often the first step toward relationship breakdown. 1
Revolver Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Eh.... There's literally tons of guys who want relationships(yes even young guys) but many women don't want them, and that's ok but just don't say no guys want relationships...that would be disengenious.
Revolver Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Uh, everyone DOES want a person who is what they consider to be THEIR 'perfect match'. Looking for a girl who satisfies all your requirements? (And yes, I know ALL of you have requirements, you'll say you don't, but a few questions later the truth pops up). Well, there you have it. You're looking for your 'perfect match'. "But what I want is much more common than what she wants!" you cry. Firstly, how do you know it's more common? What if her perfect match is just an employed, non-obese guy who takes care of her and makes her laugh? What if she is open to a much wider age range, or body shape range, or size range, than you are? Secondly, if what you want is so 'common' then why are you not getting it while other men are getting theirs? Time for some introspection. The only requirements men have are that he's physically attracted to her and their emotionally compatible. That's pretty much it
xxoo Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 The only requirements men have are that he's physically attracted to her and their emotionally compatible. That's pretty much it Those can both be wide or narrow parameters. Women, too, want those--but the combination isn't the easiest thing to find! 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 The thing is that there are a lot of men who are unattractive (not just in the physical sense). A lot more unattractive men than there are unattractive women. It's a fact. So, no one should blame women for having the misfortune of not being able to find a suitable partner. You could say it's the men's fault for being, in various ways, unattractive. But I'm not so sure I'd go that far. I'd say we've reached a point where the prevalence of unattractive males is nature telling us something. Exactly what is up to interpretation.
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