TheVSilent Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I've been pulled back and forth lately. I have been involved with someone that says she is confused and doesn't know if she can give me what I want, yet wants me to treat her like my girlfriend. I am in denial and I am holding out hope she will love me. We have had an up and down month, at each others throats. She constantly puts me and my friends down, tells me my breath stinks, gets disgusted when I touch her, and says she is fed up with me arguing about the same thing. Maybe I am going crazy, she pulled out of my life before valentines days claiming she needed space, it hurt. Only to resurface the next week as if everything was ok. This to me is not ok, I don't understand how someone is allowed to pick and choose when they want to be in someones life and how they feel about them at that moment, but I guess I am being a baby. We got each other gifts, she kept hers, when we got in an argument I gave her the stuff back thinking I was never going to see her again, but when she resurfaced and was wearing the stuff I bought her I thought to myself it would be nice to get that sweater back. We went to the movies last night, when we got home I saw the sweater and I went to grab it, she got really upset and told me to leave that thing alone, I raised my voice saying hey you get to keep your stuff why can't I have this back? She began to say that I acted childish when I gave that back to her, but really I was just hurt. Well she tells me I have to leave, she is going to call the cops, that I am crazy for trying to take it back and she is done with me, with arguing, with how I play the victim role. Of course I am hurt, I am crying right in front of her, I don't mean to but I can't help it. She tells me that me crying does nothing for her, that I am psycho and I am trying to force my hand into something she doesn't want to do. I feel like everything is my fault, that I am really insane for loving her so much that I just want it in return, and I can't seem to deal with life without her. I feel worthless, I just wanted her to care more, I wanted her to want me to have that sweater back because she cared for me, now I do feel like I am psycho, crazy, and alone because of it. I can't help the way I feel, it just felt like I was a yo yo and to see her shove me out last night with no emotion on her face, telling me that I blew it, I can't seem to wrap my head around it. I want to think that everything isn't my fault, but I am blaming this all on me, I need help coping, realizing that life can go on.
Kaza Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I think you already know the truth. But its hard to love yourself and do what's right by yourself.
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