mommabug Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 i feel my boyfriend no longer finds me interesting or attractive. he denies this, yet to me, actions speak louder than words. i don't see any real efforts to spend time with me. he gets bored and distracted with our conversation. our sex life is going through several changes since the birth of our son and i am certain he is not physically attracted to me since the physical changes my body went through. he is caring however and says that he wants to be with me and that he loves me sooo much. if this is true wouldn't he show more interest me? we tend to communicate really well but if he won't admitt to feeling any of this i don't know how to address the problem. i have considered ending things but i do believe there is love between us and our 3mth old son. any advice?
Papillon Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 Hit the gym! You may have self-esteem issues that are compounding the problem, creating an ugly cycle.
Author mommabug Posted September 2, 2004 Author Posted September 2, 2004 thanks for the tip however my self esteem is in check. i feel worthy of being with some one who finds me interesting. i am as active as i can be with a baby on my hip and i eat well. i have already lost the 25 pounds gained during pregnancy. but i certainly don't look like i used to. that is part of the package of having a baby. guys, do you think that my boyfriends lack of interest is because of my physical changes? because he is not in the best of shape himself but i am totally into him. being in love should have that effect on a person shouldn't it?
Karlise13 Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 He may be feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities that come with being a father. For some men, parenthood can bring up all sorts of conflicting emotions (as motherhood can with women) He may be scared. Or wondering if he's doing things right. Or just plain exhausted. Sit down and talk to him frankly about how things have changed since the baby has arrived. Ask him how he sees your relationship now. Some men have a hard time seeing their wives become 'mom's. They may find it difficult to reconcile the ideas of a 'mom' being 'sexy'. Or, if they were in the delivery room, the sight of their child being born might have been traumatizing. One of my male friends said that after seeing the baby come out he was scared to go near his wife 'down there' because she'd been in so much pain during labor. It just scared him to death. You are both going through major changes. Get a sitter and spend some time alone reconnecting. Tell him you miss how things were. Ask him to talk to you about what's bothering him. I hope you guys can work this out.
Author mommabug Posted September 6, 2004 Author Posted September 6, 2004 than you for the reply karlise13.
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