Ajvd1 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 So I here a page on the intercom at work that I have a call on line 3...I answer hi this is..and my name. Silence. I say hello? I hear breathing. I say hello again. He says...I'm sorry to bug you at work but i miss you. In shock I am speechless. I say nothing. I cant form a sentence. He asks if I am there. I form a yes. He says his W is going away tomorrow with family....could we meet up and talk. I say nothing. He asks if I am going to say anything. I said I dont know what to say and hung up. I am flipping. Its midnight. My kids are with grandparents. My H is out of town until Sunday and the devil on my shoulder is telling me to dial his number.
MissBee Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Please don't. The feelings will pass. That's what I learned. When you sit with those impuslive feelings from the devil on your shoulder, they often lessen in intensity. I try to apply the rule of sleeping on such urges. 9/10 times when I sleep on it, I am GLAD the next day that I didn't do it or think it silly or don't even remember about it at all. It's a good rule. It saves you from following transient feelings into a trap. If you sleep on it and still want to do it...then report back. 5
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 DO NOT DO IT! NO no no no no! The A is over, you've been in NC mode. He is a selfish fricken prick to call you after all this time, and offer himself up to you like this. FIGHT IT. Go re-read your older threads. Think of your husband..Your children..All that you love - Family life. Is a hot roll in the hay worth pissing it all away? To start up the A again, get messed up and possibly get caught? Your H is away, kids are at the grandparents.. Leave it alone. Don't call him back, don't make plans to go have sex with him. Stay strong. Call a woman friend and make plans for the WHOLE weekend, keep busy. If you choose, and it IS a choice here, you'll have nobody to blame but yourself when this blows up in your face. Don't be selfish - Think of your husband and also the hard work you've put into NC mode for so many months. To slip, to cave and go back to him is a HUGE mistake. 4
veryhappy Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 If your relationship was only physical like you said in your first thread, there's no talk involved if you two meet. It's about doing it when his W is away. If you truly do not want that, do not contact him. He might have dialed a few others after he didn't get a yes from you. It's hard to tell if a (x)MM is faithful to his (x)OW, you know? lol
Author Ajvd1 Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 I didnt call him. I laid in bed and stewed and ended up falling asleep. Just to clarify the nature of the A started off a PA ended it then we started again and turned in to mpre of an actual friendship of sorts. The second time while the physical was still there we spent more time talking. We would text all day and talk on the phone on my lunch break everyday and usually talk for upwards of 4 hours on the phone 3-4 nights a week. He did say he wanted to talk. I'm sure he had other stuff on his mind. I wouldn't go there again but wanting to know what he actually could have to say is what is bugging me. It could just be a ploy to get some...but I think he misses me for more than just that...but it matters not I guess. Gonna try and keep myself busy today hopefully it goes ok.
ThatJustHappened Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I didnt call him. I laid in bed and stewed and ended up falling asleep. Just to clarify the nature of the A started off a PA ended it then we started again and turned in to mpre of an actual friendship of sorts. The second time while the physical was still there we spent more time talking. We would text all day and talk on the phone on my lunch break everyday and usually talk for upwards of 4 hours on the phone 3-4 nights a week. He did say he wanted to talk. I'm sure he had other stuff on his mind. I wouldn't go there again but wanting to know what he actually could have to say is what is bugging me. It could just be a ploy to get some...but I think he misses me for more than just that...but it matters not I guess. Gonna try and keep myself busy today hopefully it goes ok. Yay! Good for you! Take it day by day..eventually it will get easier again. It doesn't matter if he's calling you because he really misses you or because he wants sex. Either way you're both still married and it won't end well.
18Years2Late Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I'd give both my arms to be able to hang up in my xMM's face...think of what a gift he gave you...then FORGET ABOUT HIM...really?...wife's away can you come play?...WTF does he think he is?...
Author Ajvd1 Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 I won't be contacting him. Was just a fleeting moment of weakness and it passed. I am okay now. I am sure he will pull this crap again. But I refuse to head down that road a 3rd time. No matter what I feel about him. I just cant. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I won't be contacting him. Was just a fleeting moment of weakness and it passed. I am okay now. I am sure he will pull this crap again. But I refuse to head down that road a 3rd time. No matter what I feel about him. I just cant. :bunny::bunny::bunny: Congratulations! That was incredibly strong and smart of you to ignore the cravings and not do the drug. Bunnies all around!
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