Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I have heard about all the bad things, what are some good things to look forward to?
El Brujo Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 If you run an OLDS, it can make you rich. 4
RedRobin Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 (edited) You get access to people you'd probably never come across in your normal social circle. For me, and in the area I live in, that was almost always a bad thing and I have no interest in opening myself up to that again. For others, it may be a very good thing... Also, some people prefer the anonymity it provides. I feel that anonymity promotes irresponsible behavior, so again, not for me... however, others simply thrive in it or even prefer it. ... last but not least... almost everyone doing OLD is multi-dating. It is practically synonymous and expected. I didn't know this going into OLD, but I do now... and would never go back to it for that reason alone. Edited February 23, 2013 by RedRobin
iKING Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 You get access to people you'd probably never come across in your normal social circle. For me, and in the area I live in, that was almost always a bad thing and I have no interest in opening myself up to that again. For others, it may be a very good thing... Also, some people prefer the anonymity it provides. I feel that anonymity promotes irresponsible behavior, so again, not for me... however, others simply thrive in it or even prefer it. Agreed. The results are ridiculously varied from what I've seen. If nothing else it might stroke the ego enough to get out and about to meet someone the ol' fashioned way. 1
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 Agreed. The results are ridiculously varied from what I've seen. If nothing else it might stroke the ego enough to get out and about to meet someone the ol' fashioned way. I have no problem meeting women the old fashioned. The issue I seem to be having with the old fashioned way, is I'm meeting women that are either barely interested or way to interested.
iKING Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I have no problem meeting women the old fashioned. The issue I seem to be having with the old fashioned way, is I'm meeting women that are either barely interested or way to interested. It's worth a try, can't know until you give it a shot. I've known a lot of people that had ok experiences with it, nothing lasted more then a couple months, but at least they got out you know? I've heard of one person (a friend of a friend type deal) that got into a long-term relationship using online dating, I think it was match if I remember correctly. It might provide a buffer for the highs and lows as you described, but they can still happen. Humans are very unpredictable
sb129 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 As long as people are honest on their profiles and about their intentions, you can be really picky without offending anyone. I met my husband via OLD. Neither of us really dated anyone else and were honest about ourselves and our intentions on the site. Worked well for us.
Eggplant Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I'm meeting women that are either barely interested or way to interested. Playing it cool is an art.
sb129 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I found it a good confidence booster as well. Just knowing that all those people out there were single as well was reassuring that I wasn't alone in being alone. ANd it gave me hope that one of them might be right for me- and he was!
iKING Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I've never used Match, but I used a different pay site. I found it to be much better than free sites. On the pay site, I had dates with girls I would actually approach in real life (after only being on it for 2 months). On the free sites, I tried different things for about a year and had the same amount of dates as the pay site with far less attractive girls. Also, on the free sites, I've tried both spamming and actually reading the profiles and sending thoughtful messages. Spamming actually worked better (which turned me off). So yeah, I'm a big advocate for pay sites. However, my VERY good looking guy friends do well on the free sites. My older friends (40+) also do well. So if you're in either of those 2 categories, go for it. That's interesting. I wonder what it is about the paid sites that brings upon better results. You might give it a try OP, It's not a bad idea to utilise multiple methods really. There's an old philosophy that you should never exert all your time and energy in one plac. 1
Anela Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Agreed. The results are ridiculously varied from what I've seen. If nothing else it might stroke the ego enough to get out and about to meet someone the ol' fashioned way. I restored my OKcupid account two years ago, after shooting out of a bookstore when it seemed like two guys were paying me some attention, on the couches where I was reading with my mother. I was out on a rare Monday evening visit to the store, and felt so nervous, that I followed my mother when she got up. She jokingly said to me, "How are you ever going to meet anyone, if you keep doing that?!" I was hoping I might find the one guy online, but I didn't. I ended up feeling overwhelmed, and worried that the guys who messaged me, wouldn't like me in person, so I gave up - especially after most of the guys I was interested in, weren't interested in me.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 ... last but not least... almost everyone doing OLD is multi-dating. It is practically synonymous and expected. I personally won't be multi-dating, but it doesn't bother me if she is, as long as she is up front about it, and it ends if something serious starts to develop. I'm not even referring to me, if something serious develops with another guy, just say so. I've never used Match, but I used a different pay site. I'm going to try OKC at first, but I'm buying a subscription. In my area, match doesn't seem to have many people on it, and I've been told by a couple friends that eharmony has almost no one on it.
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 I ended up feeling overwhelmed, and worried that the guys who messaged me, wouldn't like me in person, so I gave up - especially after most of the guys I was interested in, weren't interested in me. That's kind of how I feel about IRL dating. It seems like a lot of women are attracted to who they think I am, and not who I actually am. 1
iKING Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I restored my OKcupid account two years ago, after shooting out of a bookstore when it seemed like two guys were paying me some attention, on the couches where I was reading with my mother. I was out on a rare Monday evening visit to the store, and felt so nervous, that I followed my mother when she got up. She jokingly said to me, "How are you ever going to meet anyone, if you keep doing that?!" I was hoping I might find the one guy online, but I didn't. I ended up feeling overwhelmed, and worried that the guys who messaged me, wouldn't like me in person, so I gave up - especially after most of the guys I was interested in, weren't interested in me. That's pretty adorable. Not sure why, but the book store (especially like changing hands) in a decent city is a fair way of potentially meeting someone. Some of the longest lasting relationships I've seen sparked from ridiculously casual environments. You have to make a move if you want results though, nothing dramatic or sly, but even casually standing next to someone while "looking for something near by" can spark a conversation. It's rather awkward to see someone eying you across the room and make the long hike over to talk to them. Unless It's that cliche beach scene where the two people run to eachother in slow-mo. Always seems to work out for them 1
PhillyDude Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 It give me the option to meet someone from another race It gives me a chance to discuss my wacky turn on's
happykat Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 On the plus side it's very easy to get a date using OLD if you are a woman. I have been dating for less than a year since my marriage ended and I have met several men from a couple different sites. I would not have dated anyone at all otherwise - not sure why, maybe because. I am basically shy. I will probably try again, but I intend to be much pickier next time.
PhillyDude Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 On the plus side it's very easy to get a date using OLD if you are a woman. I have been dating for less than a year since my marriage ended and I have met several men from a couple different sites. I would not have dated anyone at all otherwise - not sure why, maybe because. I am basically shy. I will probably try again, but I intend to be much pickier next time. That's true because I have seen a lot of monsters on dating sites and I know they are only on there because they get attention
Author Lonely Ronin Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 This sounds like an interesting topic in and of itself. Please elaborate. I consider myself a deep, passionate, compassionate, & caring person.I'm also they guy that can turn heads when I walk into a room and I intimidate a lot of other men, as i have a very dominate I don't care what others think personality. I consider my shelf shy around women i like, even though I've been told I'm totally not. I feel I have a lot of things going for me, and it seems a decent number of women I've dated recently, will stay for the superficial ones, even though they don't like or care for the ones I think signify who I really am.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I did OLD briefly last year, and might do it again when I'm ready. I met 2 guys. I went on just one date with the first. He was cool and nice, but we just didn't really click. Then I had a 6-month relationship with the next guy, and even though it wasn't a match for long term, I'm glad we spent the time together that we did. He's someone I almost certainly wouldn't have met outside of OLD, and that would have been a shame.
Green Light Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I have heard about all the bad things, what are some good things to look forward to? The best thing about OLD is that when you power down the computer it goes away. 2
PhillyDude Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I still think Telephone Dating is MORE FUN than OLD
aliceb1987 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I've been using Plenty of Fish on and off since splitting with my L/T ex last summer.Having looked into a few other free ones i think it is definitely the flagship site. I think the main plus for me is that there is a 'revolving door' of possible guys...it is like online shopping...i find it fun searching for what i am looking for I have held numerous conversations and met up with about 7 guys from there,one of whom i had a casual relationship with,1 who i had a short term friendship/relationship with and 1 who i am currently seeing (early days) The others were decent enough guys,i just didn't feel that attraction or spark. My opinion is that it is literally just another way of meeting people and simply represents a cross-section of society....both good and bad. It has it's fair share of wierdos,players,head cases and freaks,but then so does real life!
scratch Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I have heard about all the bad things, what are some good things to look forward to? My favorite thing about OLD is that there's a good chance that the people to whom you write are looking to meet someone, too. That doesn't mean you're the one they want, but for me, knowing a person is single and looking makes me far more interested in approaching. To wit, I would see a girl at the gym, but didn't feel comfortable cold approaching. Then I came across her profile on OkC; simply seeing her on there gave me the confidence to approach. However, if your problem with IRL is that people are either too interested or not interested enough, that's even worse with OLD.
Casablanca Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I have no problem meeting women the old fashioned. The issue I seem to be having with the old fashioned way, is I'm meeting women that are either barely interested or way to interested. I also find a lot of women that aren't very goal oriented or have kids which is a deal breaker for me...since I've left the college scene, most of my friends now only hang with each other instead of mixing new people in to the group. One should never use OLD solely and pass up an opportunity in person, but it is great that you can filter out people you wouldn't have any interest in to begin with My favorite thing about OLD is that there's a good chance that the people to whom you write are looking to meet someone, too. That doesn't mean you're the one they want, but for me, knowing a person is single and looking makes me far more interested in approaching. To wit, I would see a girl at the gym, but didn't feel comfortable cold approaching. Then I came across her profile on OkC; simply seeing her on there gave me the confidence to approach. However, if your problem with IRL is that people are either too interested or not interested enough, that's even worse with OLD. I've done that with a friend of a friend who I would run into occasionally, it didn't go anywhere, but I asked her out in person knowing she was looking I've mistaken smiles and eye contact for interest and I find out they have a boyfriend or I see a ring as I get closer, but its all a risk! OLD is just another way to meet people. One should not limit their options
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