3 mins into the 1st phone conversation and she was already asking me what I had???

[Els]

Jesus, my pre-teen niece is less oversensitive than you are. WTF.

 

What's it gonna be next? Hanging up on someone who asked what you had for dinner, because in this economy nobody should be assuming that people are eating good food? How about 'where do you live' - because you live with your parents? Why didn't you freak out when she asked 'do you have a phone number'... how dare someone assume that you can afford a phone?!!?? What a gold-digger!

[Els]

...Wait, you actually ask women "Do you have sexy feet?"!?!?!??!?!!! :lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

And that's more socially-acceptable than asking if you drive?? Are you for real???

[Els]

I can't help but wonder if that makes women laugh or cringe?

 

I'd laugh, but it's more the kind of laugh that I get when I watch Mr. Bean.

 

I'd then block him.

[Treasa]

I don't know many people who can maintain a CAR and a APT in 2013 all by themselves

 

Um, I do. I know a lot of people who do. Well, actually, they maintain houses.

 

All your posts are about huge generalizations.

[sid3]

I'd laugh, but it's more the kind of laugh that I get when I watch Mr. Bean.

 

I'd then block him.

 

That's what I thought. I'm sure ew! would be a popular response too.

[Els]

Um, I do. I know a lot of people who do. Well, actually, they maintain houses.

 

All your posts are about huge generalizations.

 

Yep. Bf graduated a couple years ago, and is not only maintaining our apartment and his (pretty decent) car, but is also giving substantial amounts of money to his family in return for them putting him through college.

 

Not sure where the OP is getting his ideas from.

[StanMusial]

Where I live, "Do you drive?" Is like asking "Do you breathe?" But I don't think it is some kind of personal question anyway for OP.

 

All I can say is, if you are that poor then you better be really goodlooking or have some low standards to pull AT ALL from online (or IRL). This whole thread makes me suspect that you lie or exaggerate pretty hard on your profile.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Way to go dude. Not sure why you're stunned though. Meet more women and become less stunned by their shallowness and materialism LOL.

 

 

Why is an inquiry regarding whether the OP drives shallow and materialistic? She never got a chance to express whether or not it was important to her that he drives … but even if it were, is his wanting nice feet and watching sports on TV any less shallow?

 

Or is it just when women have stuff they want in a potential mate that it's considered "shallow."

 

And, honestly - OP, you're expecting a woman to choose to date you based upon your personality, social conscience, caring nature and good heart?

[Mme. Chaucer]

The main thing I want to be able to do during a 1st phone conversation is LAUGH

 

If there is no laughter there I will not set up a date.

 

You never show any sense of humor at all in your posts …

 

If you're for real, I'd be shocked if any new person confronted with your bizarre attitudes and requirements would feel comfortable sharing laughs with you. They're probably kind of freaking out.

Edited February 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[sid3]

 

And, honestly - OP, you're expecting a woman to choose to date you based upon your personality, social conscience, caring nature and good heart?

 

You left out the 'good luck' with that. As always, these threads give the rest of us a better appreciation for what women have to deal with. So glad I'm not a girl.

[Mme. Chaucer]

And, honestly - OP, you're expecting a woman to choose to date you based upon your personality, social conscience, caring nature and good heart?

 

You left out the 'good luck' with that. As always, these threads give the rest of us a better appreciation for what women have to deal with. So glad I'm not a girl.

 

Though it may be a struggle to find people who are interested in us because of our beautiful interior qualities - not all of us actually HAVE beautiful interior qualities.

 

Personally, I don't think much of the inner glory of people who sit around complaining about how shallow everybody is who doesn't like them for their "personality;" it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman. If you're bitter, whiney, insecure, defensive, mean spirited, ignorant, etc., you BETTER be rich, hot, or better - both.

[Els]

You left out the 'good luck' with that. As always, these threads give the rest of us a better appreciation for what women have to deal with. So glad I'm not a girl.

 

Haha, I gotta be honest, I don't meet many guys like the OP. And I used to meet quite a few immature frat dudes, so that's saying a lot.

[scratch]

"Hey how are you

 

Her: "I;m fine and you?

 

"So how are you liking Philly so far?

 

Her: "I;m getting used to it day by day

 

Her: "Do you drive?

 

Me: HANGING UP THE PHONE

 

Count me as one more person in agreement that you went way overboard. Where I live, it's actually a sign of wealth not to have a car, and I suspect there are a few very central parts of Philly where that may also be the case.

 

Are you sure it wouldn't have suited you better to give her the benefit of the doubt and take it as a question about your lifestyle, and how the two of you might work from a logistical standpoint? On the other hand, if it was already established that you live within walking distance of each other, or right near connecting public transit points, then I would be more sympathetic to your reaction. However, a rude exit is universally less respectable than a graceful one.

 

This thread is the flip side to another recent one about whether a man should ask a woman's age on a date. It's really interesting to see which posters so blinded by gender that they disagree with this man's reticence to answer the car question, but feel that a is woman justified in withholding her age, or vice versa.

[Els]

This thread is the flip side to another recent one about whether a man should ask a woman's age on a date. It's really interesting to see which posters so blinded by gender that they disagree with this man's reticence to answer the car question, but feel that a is woman justified in withholding her age, or vice versa.

 

Very few people are saying the OP is not justified in choosing not to answer.

 

If the woman in question had hung up on a guy for asking her age, especially if she makes a habit of asking guys whether or not they have sexy butts, maybe you'd see more of the same type of reaction.

[SJC2008]

Public transportation is so much better in the NE many people don't see the need for a car. Who cares if she asked you 3 min in? You think she had "bad" intentions but you don't know and will NEVER know since you came to your own conclusion. I think you have a subconscious block that keeps you from meeting women, I was the same way but used different reasons.

[Casablanca]

It was like this

 

"Hey how are you

 

Her: "I;m fine and you?

 

"So how are you liking Philly so far?

 

Her: "I;m getting used to it day by day

 

Her: "Do you drive?

 

Me: HANGING UP THE PHONE

In a big city like philly, there is plenty of public transportation, and I wouldnt be shocked if people only take the public transportation, similar to people living in NYC. I'd say it was totally relevant and was just going to talk about that...perhaps she was interested in trying to figure out the best way to meet up depending on your two situations.

 

Don't look into every little detail like this, you'll go mad

[scratch]

Very few people are saying the OP is not justified in choosing not to answer.

 

If the woman in question had hung up on a guy for asking her age, especially if she makes a habit of asking guys whether or not they have sexy butts, maybe you'd see more of the same type of reaction.

 

Wait, you think it's okay for a person not to answer the question of whether they have a car and/or a license? You don't feel that is a reasonable and pertinent question? I read the entire thread, but may have missed the post where the person said "yeah, I can see why you didn't want to answer her question, but you still shouldn't have hung up on her." Can you direct me to a post similar to that?

 

If whether her question was reasonable isn't at issue, we have an eight page thread where everyone is piling on a socially awkward guy for being socially awkward, with nothing else being discussed. Is that the topic to which you're contributing? That's terribly unkind.

[Els]

Wait, you think it's okay for a person not to answer the question of whether they have a car and/or a license? You don't feel that is a reasonable and pertinent question? I read the entire thread, but may have missed the post where the person said "yeah, I can see why you didn't want to answer her question, but you still shouldn't have hung up on her." Can you direct me to a post similar to that?

 

Yes, if it's literally asked within the first 3 minutes I absolutely think it's fine for the person to deflect either politely or with humor. Everyone has the right to choose to answer or not answer ANYthing they please. Of course, the other person also has the right to lose interest in them based on their decision.

 

Hanging up, on the other hand, is just rude.

 

I don't see why the need to mention this unasked when it was completely irrelevant. Just as how people don't say "Yeah, if she'd hung up on you it'd be rude" on the other thread because it's irrelevant.

 

If whether her question was reasonable isn't at issue, we have an eight page thread where everyone is piling on a socially awkward guy for being socially awkward, with nothing else being discussed. Is that the topic to which you're contributing? That's terribly unkind.

 

You're contributing to the same topic.

 

It's only unkind if they have already acknowledged that they are socially awkward.

[MissLiberty]

It was like this

 

"Hey how are you

 

Her: "I;m fine and you?

 

"So how are you liking Philly so far?

 

Her: "I;m getting used to it day by day

 

Her: "Do you drive?

 

Me: HANGING UP THE PHONE

 

It's not speed dating, you should have given her more time.

Edited February 23, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[ShannonMI]

I met this girl on OKC and we exchanged numbers so we could chat on the phone. She seemed really down to earth and nice from her pics and once we talked on the phone, 3 mins into the conversation she asked

 

"DO YOU DRIVE?

 

 

Of course I had to hang up the phone because that was just flat out ridiculous to ask me what i have in this shaky economy. I have never been into woman who give off the judgmental and materialistic vibe and I had to end the conversation. She didn't deserve to know why I didn't drive and it was best for me to move on. I am still stunned with all the things going on in this country right now, some woman think it's ok to ask what you have

 

Weak Job market

Bad economy

millions unemployed

people losing homes

rising gas prices

 

 

How bout asking me things about my personality and my likes and dislikes?

 

Are you kidding?? Hahahahahaha wow this girl dodged a bullet. Good thing you hung up on her. So asking a simple question like "do you drive" automatically means she's materialistic? I'm guessing you live in Philadelphia?? That's a large city and a lot of people take public transportation. Maybe she was just asking if you had a vehicle. And so what if she was asking. Talk about reading wayyyyyyy too much into one question.

[PhillyDude]

These are the IMPORTANT questions? But driving a car is not? She was merely asking a way of arranging to meet up! I ask and get asked this question a lot of times on first-time communications! Nobody hungs up. And I have no problem if a man says that, no, he doesn't drive. Even if I had a problem (which would be weird) I'd never hung up. That's just immature and blowing something out of proportion. After reading other people's posts though it seems you do that a lot though.

 

And don't get me started on the first one about sexy feet! It would creep me out to no end for a first-time talk!!! Even if we both had met on a sexy feet fetish site!

 

Seriously, you're not ready to date. This is not how dating works. And this is coming from someone with limited date experience.

 

I don't talk about meeting until after I get a good vibe during the conversation. It was no need to ask me about driving because we had yet to determine if we liked each other

 

I talk on the phone 2 times and then set up a face to face meeting

[PhillyDude]

Why didn't you tell her what you told us here? That you live in an area close to work and entertainment and presumably good public transport. I cannot think of a single woman who would have an issue with that, unless she lived really far away. She knows nothing about you at all dude, and is new to your city I'm guessing. Seriously grow up, or answer the question with "let me ask YOU a more important question - are your feet sexy?"

 

 

Because when you ask me do I drive and we only been on the phone 2 mins you don't need to know why because I'm already turned off.

[ShannonMI]

I am not complaining just pointing out how silly some woman are in this economy to have all these expectations when so many people are struggliing

 

And why do you keep blaming the economy?? The economy has improved in the last few years. It's not like a person can't get a decent paying job now a days. Give me a break. Like a poster said earlier, you are apparently insecure about being broke and you are taking it out on this poor girl.

[PhillyDude]

Um, I do. I know a lot of people who do. Well, actually, they maintain houses.

 

All your posts are about huge generalizations.

 

I said there are several people who can't so your post has nothing to do with my statement.

 

 

There are people that can and there are people who can't maintain rent and a apt.

[Imported]

Why ask that question that early in the conversation???

 

Are you really this stupid? Who knows why she asked, but if it really went like this;

 

"Hey how are you

 

Her: "I;m fine and you?

 

"So how are you liking Philly so far?

 

Her: "I;m getting used to it day by day

 

Her: "Do you drive?

 

Me: HANGING UP THE PHONE

 

Maybe it could have gone like this, if instead of hanging up you go:

 

You: "No, I just get around by train, bus and walking." (makes even more sense if you live in a downtown setting)

 

Her: "Me too! I hate driving, it is such a pain. Blah blah blah blah blah. Maybe we should meet each other for drinks, neither of us has to worry about drinking too much for the drive home lol"

 

or

 

Her: "That's cool. I just got a new car and am really excited about it. Maybe I can come pick you up and we can just go for a ride."

 

Who knows how it could have gone, because you are just ridiculous OP. Seriously, you took something that wasn't even the size of an ant hill and made it into an impossible mountain. You suck.