Ex dumper reinitiating contact.Text sent from on him on Valentines Day

[lloversrock]

Hello everyone

 

Just decided to join yesterday,its amazing how dumpers and dumpees everywhere have so much in common,I wish a found this forum years ago

 

Any advice or suggestions you guys give will be greatly appreciated,I have no one else I feel comfortable telling.

 

Ex dumper reinitiates contact after Valentines Day.After months of silent treatment occasional contact by him every 3 months through popup visits or text. All contact made by him for the past 11months.Of course I chased for first 3weeks and after it set in I made no attempt to do that again,Ex suffers with depression,moves in with me but cant keep steady job,my cousin was able to get him in at a factory,he's not used to this type of work ,struggles to make things workout along with his supervisor mistreating him verbally,ex might have a bit of narcissism he couldn't take the emotional abuse,his ego was taking a beating,one bad thing

Learned bout him after living with him he never admits when he's wrong. He's a sweet person when he's happy,we were together 5 years,when my brother died unexpectedly,he was very supportive,helped my parent move my brothers things out his apartment and comforted me through it,last day of work the supervisor sad the wrong thing to him and he went off on her came home broke up with me moved out all on the same day,he told me he was so angry and felt so much rage he thought he might hurt me,physically and wanted to kill himself one day when he was driving back from work,he started crying after he said it. He also mentioned something was missing,no spark. Doesn't no if he wants to try again latter,so after 11 months he sends these breadcrumbs text after I started d ignoring them he sends more along while valentines day text with old pet name he called me when we together,now hes texting everyday but short convo,I don't want to feel like I'm chasing him ever again,but I'm making him initiate all contact. I've known him 11 years since high school so I have a connection with him long history,it feels awkward because feel like not sure who he is any more. also I had developed hives for past year from allergic reaction a blanket that had bleach in it,my skin absorbed it and the reaction started,I only had sex with him maybe 5 times and I rejected his advances I asked when did you start feeling lack of passion and spark in his opinion start occur,seems to be around the same time,as my allergic reaction hives is very painful but that maybe where attraction went because there was no intamacy,I do fear he maybe getting me back for not having relations with him,he seemed angry when I would say no

What do you guys think?As soon as he got on his feet we were supposed to get married his dad was already calling me his daughter and his brother called me sis.He was very happy they approved of me,his last ex they didnt like.

What should I do

I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY ERRORS IM USING MY CELLPHONE.I KNOW PEOPLE GET ANGRY ABOUT THAT,Thanx

[dnalop]

Does he want a relationship. Do you? Figure out what you want the most and go for it. I make a pro and con list and figure out what I want first. I would hangout as friends for awhile and get to know him again, even though you seem to already know him. See if anything is changing, and figure out what you guys want, maybe just a close friendship! Or more, but take all this slow. Its a tough one, but love isn't easy!

[lloversrock]

Thanx dnalop I'm going to do just that.Hes. been contacting me everyday since VDAY. I Think nc helped..He is showing signs of interest.He has asked me if I was seeing anyone, called me on my birthday,left a message saying that he loved me and miss me. Ive been in strict nc about 7months now ,he's been asking me If I think about him and has said that he thought that I had forgot about him,contacting him was pushing him further away he had started ignoring my calls so I promised myself not to call text for any reason and never look at his Facebook page. He hasn't said the breakup was a mistake and he sorry,straight out but he kinda just pretends that part didn't happen,so what's to stop that from happening again.Im going to start slow. We both haven't been with any one else. Nc may not always make a person want you back but it helps you avoid doing things that make you feel bad.

[marklarsson]

Thanx dnalop I'm going to do just that.Hes. been contacting me everyday since VDAY. I Think nc helped..He is showing signs of interest.He has asked me if I was seeing anyone, called me on my birthday,left a message saying that he loved me and miss me. Ive been in strict nc about 7months now ,he's been asking me If I think about him and has said that he thought that I had forgot about him,contacting him was pushing him further away he had started ignoring my calls so I promised myself not to call text for any reason and never look at his Facebook page. He hasn't said the breakup was a mistake and he sorry,straight out but he kinda just pretends that part didn't happen,so what's to stop that from happening again.Im going to start slow. We both haven't been with any one else. Nc may not always make a person want you back but it helps you avoid doing things that make you feel bad.

 

Has he or you been seeing anyone else during the time?

[lloversrock]

No,we both haven't been seeing anyone else,we've been apart 11 months,he was the first to ask and seemed relieved when I said no(good sign). He is at least now is open to telling me why,and saying that his feelings haven't changed.