goforitpal Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Ok, so to start with, only ever been with one girl (relationship wise) my whole life. 2 years, ended a year ago almost to the day. Anyway, I'm for sure over her, and there's a new prospect in my life, and for the sake of ease, let's call her Erica, my mate's (let's call him Tom) housemate. So the idea of anything happened started last september when Tom decided he wanted to set Erica and I up. There has always been a bit of a joke behind it, as for a while I hadn't even met her. Anyway, I met her a couple of times, she seemed pretty stuck up, most girls at my university all seem to be like that though and when I met her on a night out, she seemed far more relaxed. Anyway, she seemed a lot nicer than I'd originally thought. Last night before we all went home for christmas break, I thought it would be a good idea to give her my phone number written pretty scruffily on the back of a receipt (we were pretty drunk) and ask her out for a drink over the holidays, she said yes. Anyway, holidays come and go, and no word from Erica. Tom says that an old flame of hers has resurfaced from the past. We get back to university at the start of january, and first I see of her is her birthday night out, which is coincidently a friend of mines birthday as well. We chat, it's nice and she's touching me every so often (so much so, a friend pointed it out, albeit slyly - I'm no expert but I've always thought of that as a sign of affection right?). Nothing happens that night, have a lot of fun, but I don't make any sort of move or anything, think I just wanted to hang out with my friends after being away for a month. Anyway, we see each other in university every so often, we chat, it's nice but nothing more. For Valentine's day, I thought it would be funny (after the whole writing my number on the back of a receipt fiasco) to get a business card printed with my number, address, email etc on it. They were pretty smart, think American Psycho style ( ). Anyway I get Tom to put a bottle of wine and the business card in her room for when she gets home from uni. I get a text from her that evening saying how mush she liked it and how it was a lovely surprise etc. etc. Her friend then tells a friend of mine that it was unbelievably sweet and "very good from him". So we text a bit the next day, but I've always been someone who's conscious of seeming too desperate and also not wanting to be boring so I'm reluctant to be like, oh what are you upto or whatever, I guess to me that would seem like just mundane boring convo. So yeah I'm not a huge conversationalist over text. I have a friend who is always texting this girl he knows, like every second I see him. But like what can they possibly be talking about??? Any suggestions on how I can get better would be greatly appreciated! Anyway, we talk every so often when I see her in uni, if I catch eye contact with her, she more often than not smiles back. Erica's best friend spoke to Tom and basically said that Erica was worried whether I actually liked her or whether I was just messing her around... Now I know that I like her, but like I don't really know what to do about it. We still text a bit but she often takes quite a long time to reply so I'm confused as to what she thinks. She still hasn't replied to a text I sent this morning, although I didn't ask her anything so it was the most open ended of texts and so I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't reply at all. There's also the added fact that we've got quite a small close knit group and I don't know if its just going to make things awkward if anything happens like me asking her out for a drink or something... Anyway, I think I've explained everything as best I can, I'd really appreciate any advice/interpretation of what you think she's thinking, or what I should do as I previously stated, I'm a complete beginner to all this sort of stuff. Cheers guys.
Apolodor Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I'm not an expert, but my advice would be to let this one go. You've both known each other for some time and it seems that nothing "serious" has happened yet. Accept the fact that maybe it was not meant to be, don't cling to it. The fact that she is not replying to your texts quickly does indicate that she is not thinking about you in a romantic way. In my experience, whenever a girl had a romantic interest in me she would answer her texts within minutes and she would keep the conversation going. The fact that you find yourself without ideas of what to text her might be your subconscious mind way of telling you that this one is not right. When you meet the "right ones" you'll no longer have this problem.
laaddict Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 You shouldn't rush into a relationship, unless what you want is to just have fun and nothing else. Relationships are a more integral part of our emotional well being that most people would accept, and being in a relationship with the wrong person will wreak havoc on your life. Another really important thing is that you look at your friend and think, I need to talk to my girl as much as he does. Forcing things is toxic to everything, so you should never force conversation, feel comfortable with quietness, feel comfortable with the fact that 99% of people in this world don't make a suitable friend, let alone emotional partner.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 So this essentially started last September, with your friend's suggestion to both of you that you should date. She flirts. She touches you. She compliments you. She's initiated texts. It's been six months. What else are you expecting? Are you waiting for her to ask YOU out too? No wonder she asked your friend whether you like her or are just messing around with her. Why haven't you asked her on a date yet? She's been incredibly patient to give it six months before finally giving up. Many women would have given up a long time ago and moved on to someone else. Be less passive. Learn to ask for a date much sooner.
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