Jeanie8341 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I am a 24 year old female that grew up believing the fairytale that you get fall in love, get married and have a family. This has not, and will not happen for me, as I keep sabotaging things. As soon as I start dating somebody I become a complete commitment phobe. I start thinking about how much time I won't have to myself, the things I may have to give up to be with that person and the guy always seems to want so much more than me. Is it normal for a guy to tell you they love you after just a few weeks? I always end up ending things before they have even really begun. The one thing I know I want in the future is children, however I just can't see myself in a relationship at all. The worst thing about it is when I'm not with somebody I want to be with somebody. What is wrong with me? Any ideas on how I can fix myself?
miss_jaclynrae Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I am a 24 year old female that grew up believing the fairytale that you get fall in love, get married and have a family. This has not, and will not happen for me, as I keep sabotaging things. As soon as I start dating somebody I become a complete commitment phobe. I start thinking about how much time I won't have to myself, the things I may have to give up to be with that person and the guy always seems to want so much more than me. Is it normal for a guy to tell you they love you after just a few weeks? I always end up ending things before they have even really begun. The one thing I know I want in the future is children, however I just can't see myself in a relationship at all. The worst thing about it is when I'm not with somebody I want to be with somebody. What is wrong with me? Any ideas on how I can fix myself? Nothing is wrong with you. The last two "boyfriends" I had said I love you within 1-2 weeks. They ended not much longer after haha. It's all about finding the right person I think. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months and we still haven't said it! Best relationship ever so far. You will have all those things, just in good time, just like I will. 1
meeji Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Read this book! its a fantastic read for those who have commitment phobia and those who are dating one.
meeji Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Read this book! its a fantastic read for those who have commitment phobia and those who are dating one. He's Scared, She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabotage Your Relationships | Thriftbooks Used Books
outsidethebox Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 IMO there's nothing wrong with you. When the time comes that you want to have children you will be committed to your family and want a committed husband. Until then either you're not ready for the full time commitment of a family (and you're young yet, enjoy your time) or the guy isn't who you want to commit to to start a family yet. Ideally you spend time with different guys until you want to spend all your time with one of them.
clia Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I am a 24 year old female that grew up believing the fairytale that you get fall in love, get married and have a family. This has not, and will not happen for me, as I keep sabotaging things. As soon as I start dating somebody I become a complete commitment phobe. I start thinking about how much time I won't have to myself, the things I may have to give up to be with that person and the guy always seems to want so much more than me. Is it normal for a guy to tell you they love you after just a few weeks? I always end up ending things before they have even really begun. The one thing I know I want in the future is children, however I just can't see myself in a relationship at all. The worst thing about it is when I'm not with somebody I want to be with somebody. What is wrong with me? Any ideas on how I can fix myself? There's nothing wrong with you. I think you haven't been dating the right guys for you. It sounds like you are dating clingy guys who are smothering you and don't give you enough "me" time. I can relate -- I need alone time also, so certain types of guys freak me out. You won't be compatible with a guy who wants to be with you 24/7, so don't date those kinds of guys. Date the guy who has plenty of his own interests, friends, etc., and has an equal need for his private time. You might even try to date a guy who travels a lot for work (i.e. a management consultant who is gone 3-4 days a week, a litigation attorney, a salesman) so that you are always sure to get your time to do your things. I think 90 days is about normal for the first "I love you." A few weeks is way too soon!
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