Olsen2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 My ex girlfriend lost trust in me and says she cares a lot but as friends. Need advice please!? I hate long stories so here goes: * we met online and fell in love * I had to work abroad and had to see her very little & she got very disappointed in that * after only dating a few months I had a health scare - things were confusing and scary so given the chaos and time I decided to keep her out of it to not provide stress or pain * this led to not seeing seeing her for months of course and broken plans and more disappointment on her side * she told me her feelings changed & wasn't sure what would happen with us or she could promise anything so to just see when we next saw each other, and concentrate on friendship * I told her why my behavior was as it was with the health * she was devastated but also very angry. Now I've totally lost her, she thinks I've been selfish and we are too different & lying she could never forgive. She said she cared very much and missed me and to be friends, that's all she could offer right now, she hasn't seen me and she was just not happy with me. I'm in turmoil. I'm getting better, but my good intentions have blown up in my face and I have lost someone who I adore. I can't be friends, or shall I be? Or is this false hope? Do I do no contact or is this girl not worth my time? Thank you for reading:)
Kengne Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Do not contact her. It's unfortunate you lied to her and lost out - I'm sure you will not make THAT mistake again. However, now that she knows The Truth - if she is STILL choosing to just "be friends" and her feelings for you have changed, there is nothing you can do at this point but accept what she is telling you and get on to the business of MOVING ON. That means NC. You can't be friends w/ her now, as you clearly still have feelings for her. You have a hidden agenda/hope, so any "friendship" now is superficial and only slowing you down from healing. Sorry you had to learn this lesson but maybe it's better this way, why don't you try to date people locally and in ur geographic area where you work abroad? Online/LD relationships rarely work out. K.
marklarsson Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Slightly similar story to mine in terms of illness getting in the way of my relationship. I was depressed an this affexted my behaviour. When i did tell her about it she still never changed her mind about it. Only difference was when the shoe was on the other foot I stood by her but when it was her turn to be there for me she left.
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