Ex needs time

[cavalier99]

And another text...

 

'Here I am again... saying hi'

 

 

I didnt respond.

 

You need to make a decision. NC now or NC after one final chat. Normally id say NC now but i don't think you'll do it.

 

So. Get her on the phone now. Ask he straight up if you getting back together (i mean like right now) if she say anything other than OK I'm coming over now or tonight. You need to tell her you aren't her friend please don't EVER bother you again and good bye and she wont be able to communicate with you so don't bother.

 

Unfortunately this isn't going to end like you want but you might as well have the last talk and be done with it. FOREVER.

 

Then hard hard core NC. Cut her out of your life like cancer. You need to block her phone email EVERYTHING. Change your phone number if you cant block. It is Time for operation scorched earth. Leave nothing...no opening. Other than her knocking at you door

 

 

Pick up the phone now. Call and be done with it.

 

Cav

Edited March 1, 2013 by cavalier99

[na49]

You need to either talk to her and find out what she wants or tell her to leave you alone and block her number. These texts are doing nothing for you but making you think more than you should.

 

She's probably trying to turn the tables and make you feel guilty. Like "Oh yeah I know you probably hate me and are ignoring me but I miss you" My ex pulled something similar with the "hi it's me" texts and the "I really want to talk to you" crap.

 

I'd suggest finding out what she wants.

[cavalier99]

And you reply in the affirmative to that one, by sending the 'text-blocker' text.

It's brilliant and it works:

 

The instant - the very instant - she texts you, this is what you reply:

 

you typer her number, followed by colon (like this 12345 678901:)

Then you type:

 

Text-blocker activated. Your message could not be delivered.

 

This will tell her in no uncertain terms that you are most definitely "ignoring and detaching".

 

As, of course, you must.

 

If she tries again, just send that message again - but make sure it's typed in exactly the same way as the first.

 

Also, you may be actually able to get a phone app that WILL actually block texts - !

 

I recommend you do it!

 

Hi taramaiden. I was thinking. I like the text blocker idea but nobody ever does it. Either phone isn't close, or ringer is off, or text comes in at night.

 

Unless it is automated doesn't seem practical. I don't think I've seen anyone do this inspite of it being recommended countless times.

 

I think focus should be on blocking number. Much more practical.

[dazednconfuse]

@ cavalier - I looked into an app for blocking and the iphone does not have one. You can subscribe to a service via AT&T. I agree, I wouldnt be able to reply fast enough every time.

 

@na - the issue is she doesnt know what she wants. So she is trying to keep me close with chit-chat. I do not think 3 days of silent treatment will make her figure it out. I mean...its not like her texts are saying please call me...I want you.

 

I personally feel like she knows she has to have me in her life. However, she is not sure to what capacity because she has been able to love after me. And the other woman is a factor because my ex likes her but they are not a good fit.even tho ideally the perfect package...as she has told me...whatever... They were not friends before gfs. So, I think she is trying to get herself happy again and then figure out how to spend her life. Which I think it ok...except I am miserable so am taking steps to stop the madness.

[TaraMaiden]

Hi taramaiden. I was thinking. I like the text blocker idea but nobody ever does it. Either phone isn't close, or ringer is off, or text comes in at night.

 

Unless it is automated doesn't seem practical. I don't think I've seen anyone do this inspite of it being recommended countless times.

 

I think focus should be on blocking number. Much more practical.

 

...Sometimes, I get a text even an hour after the person has sent it. it depends how busy the server is, and what the signal is like.

It also depends if I've had my 'phone off or on.....

 

I remember my H. texting me one evening to tell me he would be over at 6.30 to pick me up form work and to meet him at the pub across the road from where I worked.

As I walk out of work, he comes out of the pub.

 

I was surprised to see him.

"I sent you a text!" he said.

I get my phone out - and just as I'm telling him I never got it - I receive it.

an hour and a half after he's sent it.

 

It's happened at other times, with other people, too....

 

So really, if you notice a text first thing in the morning - send the response, first thing in the morning.

Providing they get the message/warning that all texts from them are blocked, then that's usually adequate.

 

I have advised a couple of people IRL to do this.

They have done it.

 

With the desired results.

[cavalier99]

...Sometimes, I get a text even an hour after the person has sent it. it depends how busy the server is, and what the signal is like.

It also depends if I've had my 'phone off or on.....

 

I remember my H. texting me one evening to tell me he would be over at 6.30 to pick me up form work and to meet him at the pub across the road from where I worked.

As I walk out of work, he comes out of the pub.

 

I was surprised to see him.

"I sent you a text!" he said.

I get my phone out - and just as I'm telling him I never got it - I receive it.

an hour and a half after he's sent it.

 

It's happened at other times, with other people, too....

 

So really, if you notice a text first thing in the morning - send the response, first thing in the morning.

Providing they get the message/warning that all texts from them are blocked, then that's usually adequate.

 

I have advised a couple of people IRL to do this.

They have done it.

 

With the desired results.

 

I'm sure it works. I have just observed that most of us read the text are too shocked to do anything, then let time pass. And almost never seem to send the repose. Just my observation. I don't really have a better solution especially if you cant block texts thru the carrier.

[dazednconfuse]

For today, I decided to just ignore them all and hang out with friends. Got 1 instant message, 2 texts, nudged to play my turn on a game and a call (no message).

 

Dang, its hard. But I made it clear what I needed her to decide. Until I get that there is nothing to say.

 

It sucks. But I can not keep waiting for my turn and eat bread crumbs while she gets her head out of ass. I will either push her to her recent maybe "ex" or make her think of a life wo me. And in meantime I try to not think.

 

This sucks.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm sure it works. I have just observed that most of us read the text are too shocked to do anything, then let time pass. And almost never seem to send the repose. Just my observation. I don't really have a better solution especially if you cant block texts thru the carrier.

 

I'm sorry....

I didn't mean for that post to turn out like a 'Pi$$ing-contest', "I'm-right-you're-wrong" kind of missive.

 

Reading it again, that's what it looks like.

 

Apologies if I came across as a 'yes dear, mother knows best' cow.

 

[cavalier99]

I'm sorry....

I didn't mean for that post to turn out like a 'Pi$$ing-contest', "I'm-right-you're-wrong" kind of missive.

 

Reading it again, that's what it looks like.

 

Apologies if I came across as a 'yes dear, mother knows best' cow.

 

 

Ha no worries i didn't take it that way at all. Maybe the guide needs the option to say in extreme circumstances.

 

"F*ck off get a life, control your self and stop staking me or ill need to take other measures"

 

This as the last resort option when all else fails to shame them into stopping. Lol

[dazednconfuse]

Well...I feel I owe a final update to the group.

 

Last week after NC she completely became open and wanted to hang out, etc. So, I did. Then after a few times she completely went cold...like a light switch was turned off.

 

And then we talked one last time. Here is what she said..her and the gf were having a roller coaster relationship..mainly due to their differing views of 'control'. Due to that, she opened up to a new relationship with me..so she could have the best friend and partner all in one. We have the same perspective on almost everything. Then it became clear to her that she couldnt let Amy go despite the fact she told me over and over they were done. That Amy had her heart and she can not think of any other person physically..despite they do not always get along. She then realized after trying that she couldnt have both...me as the best friend and Amy as the gf. So, she soul searched and thought about what was most important and it became clear that her desire is to have a family and relationship more than the security of the best friend. Since she still loved Amy then she had to be the choice. She said she loved me too but not in the way I want to be loved. She said she sabatoged some of their relationship because of me and wanting to be with me and see where we could go with a new start. So, for everyones sanity, she said she is now ready to choose, and she did not pick me. She claims she was honest the whole time...which she wasnt...she said they were broke up but I found out they were just in roller coaster mode. She was so cold and non chelant (sp?) when we talked. the only time she got emotional is when she said Amy had her heart and despite their issues she had to realize she fell for her. I just wanted the truth the whole time...that was all I asked for. I am in shock as I really thought what we had would prevail. But, all the what ifs and what should I do now games are over. She made it clear that I have to be out of her life so she could fully give her heart to Amy to see where they go. And she said I can now be free to give my heart to another...she wants me to be happy and blah blah. ..gee thanks bitch.

 

I know everyone told me...but I couldnt just ignore all the discussions about how she cant lose me and will never lose me and how she wants another shot also...and the whole time she was in love with someone else...and she finally accepted that it wasnt going to go away and I wasnt worth losing that connection to her gf...and what they could be.

 

I am in shock. I hurt. I cant sleep or eat. I am worried about me. I am worried I will not forget her. I am worried I can not move on. And I am worried because I do not want her happy with Amy. I want her miserable...which they wont be as my ex will not let herself be wrong. So they will go on with some great thing...while my ex feels no pain I am stuck with it all.

 

So, I have lost my best friend and my gf and my hope for any future with us. And now the rebuilding of my life, mind, social network, and self esteem begins.....

[Minneloa]

I am sorry you are hurting. This is a great place to come for support in moving forward. One of the benefits of going No Contact now is that it will, in time, help you clear your head and give you new perspective on your situation. Most importantly, it puts the focus on *you* and taking care of yourself, rather than on the actions/feelings of your ex.

 

I am rooting for you.

Edited March 8, 2013 by Minneloa

[grace777]

I am really sorry to hear that it didn't work out, and that you're going through this pain. Trust me, I know EXACTLY how you feel. My ex and I were very close friends for years before our 3 year relationship even began. She was my world.

 

I can say this. It's been over 5 months and I am almost completely over her. I don't cry hardly ever and I have finally gotten to a point that I really am happy for her and her new relationship. My point is, it does and will get better.

 

My advice, do yourself a HUGE favor and delete her off of any social networking sites. It will tear out your heart every time you see a post - and you may become a silent stalker, just feeding that pain over and over again. Don't call, email or text her either. You must let her go and you have to move on. Once you really do this, and yes it's scary and painful, but once you really let go of everything - you begin to heal.

 

You sound very cool and very smart. You'll have no problem meeting someone even more amazing (although it's hard to imagine now) when you're ready. For the time being, stay busy. Keep hanging with your friends, work out, start some new routines and habits, etc.

 

You'll see - it gets easier. In the mean time, LS is an excellent source for venting and just reading. There is comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this.

 

Stay strong - refocus your thoughts each time she creeps in. You'll be feeling better with each passing week. I promise.

[dazednconfuse]

Grace... Thanks....i am a cool person damn it-great career, funny, caring, etc. although I feel very broken. I keep replaying the last convo in my head over and over as the words were so different than what she had been saying...obviously her actions said another. I never thought she was capable of the lies. She doesnt even think she did wrong by me. I also keep fantasizing about her new relationship and how great it will be and how she trashed me for it...which she said she would never do. And now, while i lay in bed incapable of anything she is lying with another. And she will make that work as she so wanted a family and was done with the scene. I do not want good things for her. I want karma to destroy her like she did me. Kinda scary huh...

[grace777]

Oh man, Dazed, you have no idea how familiar that sounds... All I could do for the first 3 months was think of my ex cuddling, kissing, making love to...my replacement. Meanwhile, the thought of kissing or holding anyone but her was repulsive to me! How could she? How is this possible?!

 

Do NOT let your mind go there. From experience in this area, I can tell you that as much as you try to figure it out, you never will. And all it does is hurt you. That's actually why I said to remove her from your social networking sites.

 

As for not wishing her well...yeah, that's normal. I know you love her. You truly from the bottom of your heart and soul love her. And of course you want her happy, but the thought of her with someone else so soon is torturous. I get it. And that's fine. Just let that go. You are fully within your rights to not wish her well right now. I wouldn't go and proclaim it to the world, but in your head, yeah - it's fine. Here's the thing...eventually, you will be happy for her. At least I was. And I am, now, finally.

 

So about laying in bed and thinking thoughts of all this - you have to seriously retrain your brain. Here's some science for you and I hope it helps. I'm a person that always believes there's a reason for something. It turns out, in this case, there is! So the neurons in your brain that are linked to happiness and love have created little freeways based off of what your old relationship supplied. So when you'd hear from her, or see her, or she'd say certain things, it would equal love. At first, it took a leap to make the connection. But after time and time again, throughout the 2 years of your relationship, those leaps became paths, and those paths became roads and ultimately, those roads became freeways. Now you have to put up BLOCKS on those freeways. Do not let your mind go there anymore. In the same way that you trained your brain to associate feelings of happiness to your ex, the things she said/did, you can undo that.

 

You need to put a STOP to those paths. Reduce them again to roads, then paths, then jumps, then nothing. Simultaneously, create new freeways to happiness that only include things you do. Maybe meeting a fitness goal. Maybe kicking a** at work, rearranging your place, etc. Create new happy freeways while you block the old ones.

 

I don't know if this sounds ridiculous to you or not, but it works for me. And it is scientifically proven. I like to read up on quantum theory and interconnectedness - this ties into the way our brains our wired. Bottom line, you are in control of you. She has made her choice. Now you must move on. It is hard, but it can be done. You will struggle and fall, but as long as you pull yourself up again, and as long as you still make forward motion, it's okay.

 

I totally went off - maybe too much chardonay tonight, huh? Haha.

Good luck to you!

[dazednconfuse]

Day 3 - Still no contact....I do not even want to talk to her. But, i cant help it that I want her to call and say she messed up. And yes...i know that will not happen. All her energy is now focused on forgetting me and starting her new life with her gf..to build the family....my ex called her gf a gift...probably bc she is 15 years younger than her so she can still have children while my ex can not (she is 46).

 

I went to yoga today...cried through the whole thing bc a Jewel song started playing. I never slept last night but talked to a friend the whole night on the phone. I am staying at my sisters house and she feels so bad she can not do/say anything that helps. I kept all the pain from her over the last 8 months of the ordeal but now I just do not want to hide it...I want to get out all the sadness and heal. I talked to my friend last night about my goals to keep me occupied. I just can not stop the thoughts of replaying the final convo and how she picked another woman to spend life with...and dumped me completely bc it was too hard for her to manage me in her life.

 

I know all this is pain is stupid as I deserve better and she is a dick. She BETRAYED me. She lied to try and get what she wanted at my expense. She led me on and denied she was doing it. But, it is so hard to move on as she is my life. I used to be so strong and independent but got so wrapped up in her that I lost my own way. I have a great job at a fortune 500 company and am pretty high up and can barely focus and do not even care.

 

How did I let myself get to this place? And how do I move on past the thoughts of her. ...how she mind ****ed me and how she is now leading some great life with her gf and doesnt give a **** about how she ****ed me over. I hope karma ****s her and wish her some pain so she can pay for how she managed things. I have very bad thoughts of what I want to have her life like...mostly one of misery as she settled for this girl and she figures out that she isnt the one either and she dumped me for her....and cant live with that thought.

 

I hope I get myself back and meet someone amazing and we treat each other very well. I too deserve to be happy. Hoping for that happiness soon....

[dazednconfuse]

Hi all. I guess I feel the need to just 'talk'. It is day 4 of NC since the final chat...this is the longest time in 8 years that we have not talked to each other.

 

I know it has to be this way based on how she finally figured out how she felt...then shared it with me. I replay it over and over...

 

Broke up in July

She disappeared with new gf July/Aug/Sept. She contacted me often during that time with "I miss you and I love you". But never made effort. I should have known...but every time I went to make a move to move on she fed a crumb and I ate it like a **** sandwhich. Then in Oct/Nov/Dec she said they were 'breaking up"...it was 'volatile" and she just wanted things to 'settle". In Dec she started making an effort and when we hung out she seemed into me and said she cant wait for our new begining and it will be everything we wanted. I am now comfortable with 'who I am' and that was the only issue for us progressing. Then in Feb started to pull away a bit..still constantly talking but didnt use the same words...started feeling friendly...I asked about it and she said she wanted things to settle...and when I pushed her she said she didnt know. But also said she and her gf were no longer together but the other wouldnt let go. Then now in MArch....I get the I dont love you the way you want me to. I love the gf (which now I am told was a roller coaster....not a real breakup). And that she wants both worlds...best friend and gf. But cant as gfs dont appreciate exes around. So, ultimately she wants a family and since she sees her gf as the gf....she has to dump me. She was tired of having '2 brains' and also knew she was ****ty to me....She was so cold...like she had to shut down to be able to be ok with what she was doing.

 

And now....I constantly think about her new life with her new gf. And what?? Now everything will be perfect with them? And now my ex will be ok with the control and the gfs rules? Now that I am not there to remind her how cool I am....I guess physical attraction and connection rules all...and she no longer has that with me...funny though because just a week ago she said she could see us dating again. I think she wants a baby so bad that she sees her gf as the best avenue..she is already a mom, lives close, is young, etc. So now they will have some amazing life and family....the one I was supposed to have....the one I was strung along to maybe have....

 

I can not stop the racing thoughts of what I maybe could have done different when she showed she was digging me agn. I cant stop the racing thoughts of what do I do now? I cant stop the thoughts of me really wanting her unhappy. But I know she will be...because she wouldnt have dropped me if she wasnt sure. She would have kept me around. So, she will continue on and I have to figure out how to get out of this mess.

 

How to stop the negative thoughts and how to 'exit the highway' of thoughts to more productive thinking. I just want her to suffer and regret the day she dumped me. But I know she will not. And I know she will never talk with me again because she will never admit to the mistake. I wonder if she thinks of me when she is out having a great weekend...does she wonder if she crushed me? Does she care?

[Bigcitydreamer]

Hey Dazed,

 

I just read your entire thread and it touched my heart. I feel for you I truly do. Your clearly a funny, smart person so you will easily find someone better. It hurts like hell in the beginning, I just went through a bu myself and was devastated for about a week. Then the days got easier and now I barely cry anymore (3 weeks post bu). NC helps like you wouldn't believe. U do start to see shyt more clearly.

 

I wish you luck with your healing process and just know that your story has touched a stranger's heart. Be strong girl. U can do it!

[dazednconfuse]

Hey all. Day 5 - no contact on either side. I feel horrible. I know there is nothing I can do to get her back. And my friends tell me she is a piece of **** who I would be crazy to talk to again.

 

But, I cant stop the highway of thoughts. Its making me miserable. I think about how she is happy and I am a mess. All I can do is think about how she needs to experience the same pain she has inflicted on others....and the world allowing her to be happy and not learn a lesson seems so unfair. How can she just move on with life and get everything she wants when she strung me along and lied and manipulated me to stick around for her to figure out what she needed? This can't happen. I get that we fall out of love...but we can not play with people the way she has and then have life be awesome for her. And, the whole time, the new girl has no idea any of this happened...just that they were on a roller coaster.

 

And now, she has all these plans and has love in her life...while I figure out a way to start over.

 

How does one stop the thoughts? I am constantly wondering what she is doing and if she thinks of me at all. And, did I mention I want her to find misery and pain now...just as a life lesson.

 

OK, I sound crazy, I am not. I am just hurt and want her to not be happy (did I mention that lol).

[grace777]

Yes, I believe you have mentioned that you don't want her happy. However, you have to let that go. And a good temperature reading will be when you honestly are happy for her happiness. Right now, you're mad. Understandably so. But if you care about her, which I know you do, you ultimately will want her to be happy -- even if that is without you -- and despite what she's done to get her to that point. Until you arrive, you must stay in no contact.

 

For the highway of hell thing/your brain patterns -- it takes a conscious effort. A repeated conscious effort. It can be exhausting trying so much, so often, but it will work. You have to not allow yourself to dwell on those thoughts anymore. When they creep in (and they do that a lot at first), just force yourself to think of something else. If you're a student, pick up a book and study for something. If you're a professional, grab the next project and start working on it. If these don't apply, call a friend and DO NOT TALK ABOUT HER, but instead talk about what your friend is up to. And if none of this is available, change your physical state. A lot can be said about physiology and psychology. That is, when you change your physical state, your psychological state will also change. So go on a walk, play with your dog, do jumping jacks, clean your apt, ect.

 

You have to make these changes and put in the effort at first to rewire your brain. It will take a couple of weeks of diligent effort. For me the proof of the success of this was obvious, even before I put it into practice because at work I was fine. I was busy and distracted. But once I got home, and was alone with my thoughts (bedtime and waking up was particularly hard), it was gnarly. So when you're home, keep working to switch the focus in your mind.

 

Over time this will get easier. But you must let go of the anger. Yes, she hurt you. But you do love her and I know you want to be with her. That means you do not think she's a terrible person who deserves terrible things, you are just bitter that she didn't choose you. Let this go. Don't even entertain it anymore. Instead change your focus. Soon, you'll be reinventing yourself and getting yourself ready for new love. For now - you must come to peace with this. That only takes time. Make the time count for you.

 

It is never good to hold onto negativity. And from the kinds of things you've been posting, I don't believe you are a negative person. You are simply hurt. Let it go. Hurt, cry, let it out. Then do whatever is in your power to get through this. Stop thinking about her end of the deal. It is no longer your concern or your business.

[dazednconfuse]

Grace/All,

Neither of us has made any contact at all since the last conversation about a week ago.

 

I have had many up and down moments...at some points I am so hurt that I have no hope of a bright future, can not focus at work, care little to talk to anyone and really just feel like a pile of ****. I struggle with human nature at times and can not understand how someone who loved you so deeply and mutually each others world could play these selfish games and turn so cold. The only answer I can come up with is that she really struggled with what she felt was best for her life and ultimately decided the emotional turmoil had to stop and therefore had to make her mind close since she felt her relationship with the other was not finished...despite their issues she just was still in love with her. I wish I had the skill to turn off my mind like she has done. All of the promises she made over the years she has broken with how she chose to end things. Then, at other times, I realize this is a chance to start over, with my new found appreciation of how people should be respected and treated and to not take love for granted as I had once done. Man, my next gf is going to be in for a treat.

 

But most of all, I am still working on shutting down the highway of thoughts that lead me back to her and all I have lost. And despite what everyone says, I will never forgive her for the pain and devastation she chose and how she chose to manage the situation. I hate the fact that she is happily moving along in her refreshed relationship and will have all she dreamed of while trashing the best person she has ever met (she called me this). She just fell for someone else (who she called her gift-bc she is young and can give her children) and nothing else mattered when she couldnt get the other out of her mind she realized that I (the distraction) had to be let go. I will always hope she and the gf do not last and she is left alone thinking that she gave up the best thing she had...the girl that fits her, gets her, accepts her and was her best friend. that she, takes that time to reflect how she could be a better person. As I said in earlier posts, when I became distant due to dealing with my moms cancer, i did not realize what/how to live me life until my mother coded several times and with a breathing tube...she wrote on a pad of paper she did not want to die. At that moment - instantly, I decided I am ok with who I am and would share my life with my partner....but that same week, she had already decided to pursue the other girl and she dumped me and I couldnt stop her. I hope she has a significant emotional event and defining moment in her life and realize she screwed me over. Then I expect an apology - one I asked for and she refused saying she did nothing wrong..and didnt string me along. She is kidding herself that she has no blame.

 

I could make her life hell with all the secrets I know...and yet I do not. I just sit quietly, left her alone, while she moves on and is making a future with her gf and I am so very sad.

[dazednconfuse]

Well, she did. Today is my Bday and I was 50/50 if she would send the Happy BDay text. She did.

 

It said "thinking of you and wish you a happy bday. You are in my thoughts each and every day and this day is no different..just more special as its your bday. I love you".

 

I am not sure why she bothered as a week ago she told me I had to get out of her life so she could build one with another. Does she think this helps or makes me feel good?

[TaraMaiden]

Shedload of breadcrumbs.... man, can she not get it through her head - it works both ways??

This must be nearly intolerable for you..

 

Please use the No Contact Guide to send her a 'blocked message' text.

 

I'm so sorry this is continuing to hurt you as it does....

[dazednconfuse]

I hear ya girl. She called also and left a long message. She said she misses me and us. That we may never get that back. Said she is not happy in many ways. Said she was sad and knows I am also. Said she would have taken me out for my bday if i was there. Said she used my bday as excuse to be able to call.

 

She wanted me out. Why is she calling. Go be miserable with ur f-ing gf. We all know that is ok, its she has NOTHING else. That was her choice.

[TaraMaiden]

Please block her.

Don't sit listening to her messages, it's just self-defeating.

You need to somehow disallow her calls or something, and certainly block her texts on your phone....

 

What she's doing is really, really wrong - but it seems that it's not possible to control her.... so all you can do is to control you.

 

If it comes to it, you may have to consider changing your land-line number.

However, I've just googled "Block calls to landlines" and where I live, there are several options available from landline providers on how to do this....

 

You have to help yourself honey, because it's patently obvious she's too selfish and self-centred to comply with No Contact...

[dazednconfuse]

@Tara-I woke up this morning to another text she sent last night - 'wish i would have heard back from you..i really miss you....wish i could be all the bdays gifts to you and for you'.

 

She really is messed up. This was HER choice to manage the situation as she did and then leave me...and I was none the wiser. She wanted to drop me so she can build a life with the other. Sharing she misses me is stupid. If she was so sad she would have tried to change things...but she isnt doing anything different...so really doesnt mean **** what she misses or not.

 

I wonder how happy she is with the gf...I will never know.

 

I continue to wish her misery and hope she is unable to find peace in her relationship.

 

Now that my bday is over I think she will crawl back into the hole she created.