sundrop Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 What does he mean? I am getting mixed signals from my ex. He broke up w/ me two months ago, he still wants to try to remain friends. Says he doesn't want to lose his best friend. If he ask me to go over there I go and when I try to leave, he just hugs me, and cry on my shoulder. He broke up w/ me saying he's not happy w/ himself, and in return pulling away from me and not being fair to me. But he says he doesn't want to be w/ me and try to work things out. He needs to work things out for himself. But yet when I see him he begs for me to stay and holds me tight all night long. When we are sleeping I can feel him touching me, making sure I'm still there. I'm confused. He always says actions speak louder than words. What is you take on this? Thanks
overseas2004 Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 My take is that he is a coward who wants to have it both ways. He just does not know what he wants. You should leave him and see what he does after you leave. To me his actions after you leaving him would be the only thing that matters.
chicasha Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 ...but u'll never know unless you cut off all contact with him. I know..its really hard to do...cos you really miss just being with the person. Ugh...trust me, i know how u feel. BUT...how will you EVER know unless you just force yourself to not see him at all...? Because...the way it is now......he still gets to see you...hug you....spend time with you....w/ absolutely no committment to you. Now..that's not fair to you, is it? u'll never know if he misses you, b/c ur still around him. I know..it sux....one thing I did w/ my current situation is to write down his phone-number/email address in a book and tuck it away somewhere out-of-reach. Then....i went ahead and deleted his # and email address from my cell-phone and online email address book. That way.......i won't drunk call him....or send text messages....or write an email out of rashness and send it to him....hehe. I know...sounds silly. But.....it makes it easier when ur trying to cut off contact. When u gotta go and look up the number/email address.....its more work, and u'll be less likely to do it. good luck...
supergirl79 Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 Chicasha is right - my ex did the same thing and I fell ultimately into his trap. I don't think he had any intentions of hurting me, but he defintiely wanted the best of both worlds without ever having to commit to me. And I just kept letting him because I missed him too and he made me truly feel like he really missed me! But, in the end, we ended up hating each other - or for the time being because he played with my emotions and when I'd get upset because we weren't progressing and he'd get mad, saying "he can't commit to me right now but he's afraid of losing me" and then would proceed to tell me he loved me so much. I don't know if you're still having sex with this guy - but if you can, try to separate yourself from him for now. I totally know how you feel because it's only been 3 days since the huge fight and we haven't spoken since. I did do exactly as chicasha said - deleted his phone number from my phone incase I was tempted to call or text, but did save it somewhere just in case I needed it someday. I am curious how your situation works out - I'm really sad about mine, but each day that passes I know will get easier (I hope anyway). I am ashamed of myself for reading into his actions when his words were completely contradictory - but at least it made me angry enough to change it. Good luck....
bgfrombg Posted September 2, 2004 Posted September 2, 2004 My ex did something similar, told me she wasn't happy, but that I did everything that I could to make her happy, she didn't know what was wrong. If I could I'd break off all contact with her, but we have a son together so it's hard not to talk to her at all or see her, but when I do, I just try to talk about our son and thats it. I haven't seen or talked to her in 3 days, that's the longest we've had with no contact cuz our son has stayed at her moms. I agree with everyone else. Don't talk to him, give him space, and he'll realize if he wants to be with you or not and he'll realize it fast cuz he'll know you aren't gonna wait forever on him.
Author sundrop Posted September 2, 2004 Author Posted September 2, 2004 Thanks for all you input everybody. I appricate it. I haven't talked to him in 3 days, and when we did chat it was just over instant messaging. I haven't actually spoken or seen him in a week. So I'm doing pretty good. During the day I'm OK, it's night time, that kills me. But I'm trying to stay strong, bugging the mess out of my friends, trying to stay busy. It's so hard not to call, or go by his house, or anything. We are supposed to go to a professional football game next Monday night, and I haven't asked him if he is still going w/ me (I have the tickets) since the last contact. SO I don't know what I should do about that. We have twelve days until the game. I don't know if I should wait and see if he brings up the game, or if I should just plan on going w/ someone else. Thanks again for all your help.
Bender donetat Posted September 3, 2004 Posted September 3, 2004 guys hang on to ex's for one reason........sex...........its sad but true.......even if you dont give in, its still easy to sneak a cheap feel or even a kiss or two....my 2 cents.....and ill go to the game with ya j/k
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