paras1te Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Ok so today I met my ex to settle the final financial things we had. We had a relationship for 5 years. And we lived together. (now 24) We broke up for about 7 months ago kept in LC and NC for the past 1,5 month. I got myself a allot of dates (no relationship yet) and fixed all the issues we had in the past with my ex. So I asked her out to eat something another day. She says she still feels a little weird about meeting me. She also told me that I look great and value's what we had. There's however no sign of anything romantic. And she's really trying to friendzone me saying she thinks the weirdness will go away over time and stuff, and that we can then go along normally. She was also a little confused about me contacting her and going to NC multiple times. She knows I'm seeing other girls now. It doesn't seem to affect her much. I have no intention of being friends with her. But it doesn't affect me eighther I don't give a damn. I want to have her 100% or she can kiss my .... So go NC again in the hopes one day she wants me badly. (She probably wont initiate because of the fear being rejected). Or meetup with her show her the new me and try to go from there. Try to reignite that spark again. And I know I should move on bla bla.. I have! But I just don't like to give up on things. I know I can live without her. I just want to give it a chance.
dnalop Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 I think if you want something bad enough go get it. Life is what you make it. Sure you can be live without someone, but if you want somebody do something about it:). NC doesn't seem fitting at this point. Good luck!!
beyond Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Ok so today I met my ex to settle the final financial things we had. We had a relationship for 5 years. And we lived together. (now 24) We broke up for about 7 months ago kept in LC and NC for the past 1,5 month. I got myself a allot of dates (no relationship yet) and fixed all the issues we had in the past with my ex. So I asked her out to eat something another day. She says she still feels a little weird about meeting me. She also told me that I look great and value's what we had. There's however no sign of anything romantic. And she's really trying to friendzone me saying she thinks the weirdness will go away over time and stuff, and that we can then go along normally. She was also a little confused about me contacting her and going to NC multiple times. She knows I'm seeing other girls now. It doesn't seem to affect her much. I have no intention of being friends with her. But it doesn't affect me eighther I don't give a damn. I want to have her 100% or she can kiss my .... So go NC again in the hopes one day she wants me badly. (She probably wont initiate because of the fear being rejected). Or meetup with her show her the new me and try to go from there. Try to reignite that spark again. And I know I should move on bla bla.. I have! But I just don't like to give up on things. I know I can live without her. I just want to give it a chance. I don't really understand some of this - you say you want to give it a chance but haven't you done that? Didn't you say you'd asked her out for something to eat? Did she accept? If so, how did it go? You have already shown her the 'new you'. She complimented you and then tried to friend zone you. She says she is confused by you going NC multiply times and then contacting her....I bet she is! Don't go NC until you have said all you need to say and realise there is no hope. Then you go NC to heal yourself NOT to " in the hopes one day she wants me badly". Sorry to sound harsh, I know it's really hard when you still have feelings for someone, but she has shown you that she only wants you as a 'friend'.
marklarsson Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I don't really understand some of this - you say you want to give it a chance but haven't you done that? Didn't you say you'd asked her out for something to eat? Did she accept? If so, how did it go? You have already shown her the 'new you'. She complimented you and then tried to friend zone you. She says she is confused by you going NC multiply times and then contacting her....I bet she is! Don't go NC until you have said all you need to say and realise there is no hope. Then you go NC to heal yourself NOT to " in the hopes one day she wants me badly". Sorry to sound harsh, I know it's really hard when you still have feelings for someone, but she has shown you that she only wants you as a 'friend'. I think it's very important to go no contact after you have said all you need to say. Even if they are no receptive to it now. You don't want to break no contact for the sole reason of oh I needed to say one more thing. Lay it all out in the table. Then go no contact 1
lullaby Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Totally. You should try, do and say all you want, and then if it doesn't work or you don't get the response you wished for, then you go full NC and the message will be clear. She may feel more comfortable with you being on a friend zone, because that zone is always easier, but if you do feel you need to give her another chance and want to be with her, then do something about so you don't stay lingering and waiting for her to reach out to you, she may never do it or it may be too late.
marklarsson Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Totally. You should try, do and say all you want, and then if it doesn't work or you don't get the response you wished for, then you go full NC and the message will be clear. She may feel more comfortable with you being on a friend zone, because that zone is always easier, but if you do feel you need to give her another chance and want to be with her, then do something about so you don't stay lingering and waiting for her to reach out to you, she may never do it or it may be too late. I told my ex I will be open for her to contact me to start something new but I also made it clear I will not be waiting about forever for her to just contact me. She knows she can't do what ever she wishes to do now in the hopes that she could just contact Me when things have gone sour
H3Drvr Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 So you say you CAN live without her yet, you still want her to come running back to you. This tells me that you CAN'T live without her because if you truly could live WITHOUT her, it should even be a thought in your head that you would take her back the moment she walks back into your life. Make a decision, be confident in it and take the appropriate actions. Stuck with what you tell the woman other wise don't make promises (to yourself) that you can't keep.
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