unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Hey guys, So I've broke up with my ex girlfriend, 5 days ago from now and we didn't talk for 3 days, right after she scolded me for being so needy and keep pulling her back to me. i think she hates me or is angry at me, we have been together for 2years and i always wish her on her birthday when we are still together, i would just like to know that, my ex birthday is coming around 3 more weeks or less. Should i wish her a happy birthday, because what i think is maybe she will find it sweet or happy ? because i still remember her birthday and also wish her. or should i not ? because im not sure what to do, we didn't contact each other for about 3~5 days from now and what should i do, since her birthday is coming.
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Stay away from her, do not contact her, do not send her birthday wishes do not get in touch with her. She broke up with you, because you're 'needy'. Doing this will just seem more needy to her. And please don't argue with our advice, or counter-act it with any other reasons.... "The thing is, I always do this, and she may think I don't love her, or that I don't care, I want her to know i am still thinking of her....." NO!! Do Not Contact Her For Her Birthday Or Send Good Wishes!!!
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 alright, but if i dont send them, what will they think of ? like will they just move on dont care about their ex, or like they will be waiting for our text on their birthday ?
Mack05 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 (edited) come on dude you have already asked about this -> http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/374813-just-want-know You are only using her birthday as an excuse to reach out to her. To maintain the 'connection' to her. Leave her be. Happy birthdays are great from people that are a source of happiness in our lives. They mean little from a 'needy' ex who has his own selfish agenda. Right now you are projecting your feelings onto her. "Maybe she will think its sweet" or "will she be sad if I don't acknowledge her birthday". HIGH probability is that she won't think its sweet. You are WAY down the list of her properties. She would prefer (please trust me on this) that you didn't contact her. Less hassle and stress on her big day. Right now she just wants to move on with her life without you being a part of it. She will respect you a lot more if you respect her wishes to move on. You do this by staying strict NC and giving her space. She will have many birthdays after this. Wait till next year when you are not emotional and when you are not being selfish. Your birthday wishes will mean a lot more because they will be sincere with no prior agenda. Right now you lost emotional control (not thinking logically or clearly) are in denial, and you have an agenda. This means you are going to send the text anyway. She will either not reply or she will reply with 'thanks'. How does this help you? Leave her mate. Respect her decision to move on and give her space. Edited February 22, 2013 by Mack05 1
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 okay you're right, even if i send her birthday wish. she will not be happy or even want to look at it, i guess i will just do the NC all the way.
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 alright, but if i dont send them, what will they think of ? like will they just move on dont care about their ex, or like they will be waiting for our text on their birthday ? Hey, wait a minute - What did I say about arguing with advice?? If you're broken up and their ex, they don't care what you think. And you shouldn't either. You're the ex. You don't count, you don't figure, because in their eyes and mind, it's over..... And now I see (should have checked - I usually do! Of course!! *Slaps head*) You already asked - !! Oh, and look what you replied there - well thanks really a lot guys, i guess. i really should just move on. since i got no chance or hope anymore. and I'll do it with my dignity and move on. It's hard I know, but I know I can do it Why not do as you said......?
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 okay you're right, even if i send her birthday wish. she will not be happy or even want to look at it, i guess i will just do the NC all the way. Yeah, right. You said that already.....
Mack05 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Yeah, right. You said that already..... unlucky I'm backing you mate. Although I would prefer if your name was lucky. Tara 20 bucks he doesn't send the birthday text .. Who I am kidding thats 20 bucks I will never see again.. 1
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 i want to, but it's really hard for me to move on, since we had so much great times together, so many things in common. well its hard to move on. but maybe it take me a very long time to forget about her. i just hope things will go well.
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 i'm really sorry guys, because my friend was telling me to send her a belated birthday after her real birthday i wish her, so i wont spoil her birthday on that day but at the same time i did wish her. because i really dont know what her mind is thinking about and should i or should i not text her. that's why im abit not sure. sorry
Mack05 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 i want to, but it's really hard for me to move on, since we had so much great times together, so many things in common. well its hard to move on. but maybe it take me a very long time to forget about her. i just hope things will go well. There is not one person on this site that doesn't have great memories with an ex. That hasn't struggled with the intense pain of a breakup and ensuing NC. It's hard but sadly it's life. Sadly there is no easy solution.
TaraMaiden Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 i'm really sorry guys, because my friend was telling me to send her a belated birthday after her real birthday i wish her, so i wont spoil her birthday on that day but at the same time i did wish her. because i really dont know what her mind is thinking about and should i or should i not text her. that's why im abit not sure. sorry Ok, think of it from her PoV: "idiot! You know when my birthday is! So, why send me a 'belated birthday wish?' Jeesh, way to attract attention and be even more needy!" See? Whatever you do, it won't work. Best not send anything and just live in 'ignorance'. Whatever she may be thinking about you NOT sending her a birthday message, you will never know. Best leave it that way. (Mack05, I'll take a rain-check, and you can buy me a toffee caramel and hazelnut sundae when I'm next in your neck of the woods, how's that??)
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 okay, i'll stay no contact then. thanks guys.
Mack05 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 okay, i'll stay no contact then. thanks guys. Awesome achievement if you do... 1
Yamcha Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 There is not one person on this site that doesn't have great memories with an ex. That hasn't struggled with the intense pain of a breakup and ensuing NC. It's hard but sadly it's life. Sadly there is no easy solution.The best way of putting great memories with your ex into context is to think of all the great times you had without them. For instance, right before I even met my ex, I took a trip to NYC and then to PA to see a couple concerts. A song came on that reminded me of my other ex that made me wanna cry, er, but that's beyond the point! Actually, since I don't feel all too much for my ex before her, this is a good illustration of how you can get over this hurdle. Another good way is to think of the ways that she wasn't right for you. My ex was crazy and would talk about other guys she ****ed, nuff said. For unluckyperson, his ex wasn't very upfront about how she felt and strung him along. Not cool. Plus, she was divorced. Not necessarily meaning she's a bad person, but it makes you wonder, don't it? She either chose someone who wasn't good for her or she wasn't good for the person she chose. And finally, the best way is to do things with your friends and let go of all the **** with dating. Basically, building new experiences that are awesome and don't require your ex to be in the picture.
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 okay i will tried to. but everything to me she is really the best, im in the wrong and she doesn't done anything wrong to make me feel angry about her or anything what make me hate her, im the one who make her so angry and hate me, that's why she wants to break up with me .
Chi townD Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Okay dude, you have to look at this relationship like a job. However,you are no longer employed in the position as boyfriend. Now, if you are no longer working at a company, restaurant, hospital...where ever...do you still communicate with your Ex employers for S&G's? NO! You move on to the next job! I don't see you still sending X-mas cards to your employers of the first job you ever had, do you?
Author unluckyperson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 well, thanks. you're really right. who am i to her ? no body now, i guess i really have to move on, try to find someone new and maybe this time it could be better then my ex. thanks really a lot. i know it takes me a lot of time to get over her, but i guess its worth it.
destroyed4sho Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 i'm really sorry guys, because my friend was telling me to send her a belated birthday after her real birthday i wish her, so i wont spoil her birthday on that day but at the same time i did wish her. because i really dont know what her mind is thinking about and should i or should i not text her. that's why im abit not sure. sorry Her mind is thinking, "boy, I feel so relieved and so good I broke up with whatshisname....I will text him sometime in the future for an egoboost when I am ready, maybe throw him a breadcrumb or 2...ehh....life is soooo much better without him! I made the BEST decision."
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