hurtandinlove Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I need some help please bad. I recently lost my love of my life about a week ago. There were no negatives with us at all. I always have been the guy that gives everything that women could ever believe in. I was always the one that has been the one that says I love you and go to fast where it scares them. I always told her don’t change who you are because relationships only work if there is sacrifices for each other and no change. I found her on all of the places the internet. She got out of a 4 year relationship that was very abusive and deter mental to her future. I myself got out of a 2 year engagement where I regret everything I did and nothing became of it. I broke mine of in May and she broke hers off in April. We where dating for about 5 months right on the day she called it off. It was our first fight between us two and not her friends. Her friends where very jealous of our love and always tried to make our lives hell. Back last year in spring she failed her finale class that would give her degree and was on a path of being nothing in her life. She lives with her folks and lives with mine while I am finishing my engineering degree up. So I do have a lot of stress in my life of driving 160 miles a day working full time and taking 17 credits a semester. I have been able to do it because I am strong and have been threw a lot in my life and suffered failure and have lift myself up every time. Our relationship was amazing and we went shopping the week before bought new stuff for the apartment that we where choosing to move in soon. She was very excited and I was very happy to. But suddenly we had the argument and she called it off. Without talking about it and seeing if we could keep walking together for our future. She told me that she wants a break from dating and wants to be single. She told me always she wants to be with me forever and nothing could cause her to walk away from me. And this hit her and I have been respecting her wish to be on a break and try to comfort her all I can in me and trying not to be very emotional. The day after we broke she slipped and fell and tore her ACL. So this weekend we where planning on doing a fundraiser and now that she is laid up she can’t participate in it. She asked me yesterday she wants me to come and I said I will if you want me there. I told her ill bring my wheelchair to push her around. So right now I don’t know if I should go and her mother will be there and all her friends. Her mother and father love me but she doesn’t know what’s going with her. They saw happiness and love so strong they wish they had it before and so with my parents[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]. But recently she texted me and told me that she wants me to be friends right now and it is hurting her to say that. I’ve told her I’m not going to walk away I will help her and comfort her but I can’t be a friend because my heart will always wanting her to get her back. She says that she knows I will do that. So I’m asking what I do with it do I go Saturday do I give her space and not respond to her or do I be there like she asks. I love this girl and she still loves me and something is going on in her mind that is making herself hurt. So help me bad I need to have her in my life and I want to share everything that I have with her.[/sIZE][/FONT]
Chi townD Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 As much as you don't want to hear this. You need to give her space. Remember, this is her choice not yours. She's putting more value on being single than being in a relationship withh you right now. She's making the choice to have your OUT of her life. Therefore, she needs to know what it's going to feel like having you gone. She needs to see the consquences of her actions. That you won't be there for her. That, through her own choice, you're not going to be pushing her in a wheelchair at the event. Because, this is the path that she's choosen for herself. Hang in there, dude!
Kengne Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 NO one one earth "needs" another person in their life. You come into this world alone, you will leave this world alone. Now, what I realize is you are head over heels in love with a woman/girl who came out of an abusive 4 yr relationship and rebounded with you (as you rebounded with her). That was def not the smartest thing ever but it's neither here nor there now. Stop listening to what she said yesterday (I'll always be with you) and FOCUS ON HER WORDS/ACTIONS of today (I want to be single/I want to be friends right now). IT"S OVER. SHE has ended it. It's great that she loves you, but clearly not enough to BE with you in a relationship. Yes this hurts - BUT THIS IS WHAT IT IS. FOCUS ON WHAT IT IS and not what you want it to be, or what it was last month. FOCUS ON THE FACTS. You need to be really selfish right now - and protect YOUR heart. You & I both know you are in no emotional shape to be any sort of "friend" to her right now, given your strong feelings - so let's not pretend you can see her on Saturday and be chummy chummy. It ain't gonna happen! You need to go straight into NC. No more calling/texting/FB'g/emailing NOTHING. Accept that this chapter in your life - with her, right now - is closed. It does not mean she will never be in your life EVER but for right now, this chapter is 'dead'. Stop trying to do friendship/relationship CPR, IT'S DONE. You need to have more value/self esteem - share everything in your life with someone who wants to BE THERE TO SHARE IT WITH YOU. That is not her. STOP throwing yourself at her, it's not a GOOD LOOK. K.
Author hurtandinlove Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I believe you both are right. But we werent rebounds at all. i was completly over my ex and any other women where in my life. i choose to commit to a better future and not the past. i choose today that i found inerself to think in the long run and not short. I sent her message that i will be picking up my armor in your name. i dont want to go out in anger or mad. i dont want anyone to be anger apon this coming. I sent my message and deleted her off of facebook. I will move on i am a strong man. I have everything going for me and i cant be hell'd back by any means. I will grow to become a better man. heck who knows maybe she will run back to me. I cant predict the future nor can i change the past. I am who i am and words are not always the key to any relationship. its about actions and effort that makes a relationship. so thanks you. for some help you can only say words but it comes to my actions in the long run.
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