Author kristinaaa Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Ugh! I can't do it. I slept here again and made him lunch for work today! I don't know how to start saying no to him without feeling bad. I mean what do I tell him the next time he text me to come over again?! And everytime I'm here he would be on his phone texting and he would go outside to talk to someone. Right after when he told me he talks to other girls I can't stop thinking about it. He thinks it doesn't bother me but it does! I just don't want to show him that it bothers me!
kimberlydoll Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I wish it's that easy. Today I just left his house after he went to work and I didn't wash his clothes. I only made his bed. Usually I make sure everything is nice and clean because I stay there most of the time and treat everything like mine as well. He's probably gonna wonder why. But who knows. My plan today is to ignore him (if he ever text me). And hopefully it starts from there. It is easy. You simply dont have the willpower and self esteem to make these changes. You see, there is this thing the Lord gave us called free will. You are choosing to do all of this. Nobody is holding a gun to your head. Ignore him 100% and spend all your energy elsewhere. I hate to be harsh but its true. You do have codependency. You constantly put other people before your own needs. I thought this thread was a troll at first, someone has to be pretty mentally screwed up to tolerate this. 1
Author kristinaaa Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 It is easy. You simply dont have the willpower and self esteem to make these changes. You see, there is this thing the Lord gave us called free will. You are choosing to do all of this. Nobody is holding a gun to your head. Ignore him 100% and spend all your energy elsewhere. I hate to be harsh but its true. You do have codependency. You constantly put other people before your own needs. I thought this thread was a troll at first, someone has to be pretty mentally screwed up to tolerate this. I agree. I have a doctors appointment today and hopefully I get the help that I need. So here's what happened today: he texted me around 7:30 after he left to work and said thanks for lunch and dont work too hard! But I didn't respond on that message cause I need to start ignoring it his text msgs. And them around 9:30 he texted me again and said the food was so good thanx again! But I didn't respond still. I've never not respond on him ever before and I'm so tempted to text him back. But around 10:20 he called me (he usually never calls just cause i didnt respond) and asked me if im upset. I told him no im not upset, i was driving home when I got your text (i lied, i was back at my place relaxing) and then he asked me whay im doing, then I told him I have a drs appointment and he asked why. I said *its just so I can more medicine* and he said * for your back (since he knows i have back problems) and then after that he mentioned again that the food was good and blablabla After that I hanged up. It's so weird that he's calling me just cause I didn't respond on his second text msg.
dasein Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 This guy sounds like a mess, but you have jerked him around enough that you may have caused some of it. Consider being more straightforward in relationship dealings. You have played lots of push-pull, jealousy and general headgames and should consider stopping that kind of thing in the future. Good luck. 1
kimberlydoll Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 I agree. I have a doctors appointment today and hopefully I get the help that I need. So here's what happened today: he texted me around 7:30 after he left to work and said thanks for lunch and dont work too hard! But I didn't respond on that message cause I need to start ignoring it his text msgs. And them around 9:30 he texted me again and said the food was so good thanx again! But I didn't respond still. I've never not respond on him ever before and I'm so tempted to text him back. But around 10:20 he called me (he usually never calls just cause i didnt respond) and asked me if im upset. I told him no im not upset, i was driving home when I got your text (i lied, i was back at my place relaxing) and then he asked me whay im doing, then I told him I have a drs appointment and he asked why. I said *its just so I can more medicine* and he said * for your back (since he knows i have back problems) and then after that he mentioned again that the food was good and blablabla After that I hanged up. It's so weird that he's calling me just cause I didn't respond on his second text msg. Good for you! Keep doing what you are doing...he called because he thinks its weird or is worried you arent responding to him. I would completely ignore him soon- meaning dont ever respond to anything he writes. Just drop off the planet. I was going to tell you if youre ok with a casual dating situation and can handle it to keep seeing him, but I read in your first post that he wants to have other girls but you cannot have other guys? He wants to have his cake and eat it too pretty much...Id flat out ignore him and never respond to him again. This guy is really selfish and disrespectful towards you and you can do much better! He will keep doing this to you for as long as you let him. Guys treat you with the level of respect you demand, not what you deserve. Remember that
Author kristinaaa Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 This guy sounds like a mess, but you have jerked him around enough that you may have caused some of it. Consider being more straightforward in relationship dealings. You have played lots of push-pull, jealousy and general headgames and should consider stopping that kind of thing in the future. Good luck. I know i hated myself for doing that and karma got me back. The bad thing is that we live like a married couple but at the same time I don't know if he's waiting for me to talk about us since I've turned him down a couple of times or If I should wait for him to talk about us. I'm getting closer on telling him soon since all my friends like literally all my friends have told me to tell him what I want since he already blamed me that I never talk and tell him what I want. Wish me luck and courage. And hopefully I get to open it up soon!
Author kristinaaa Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Good for you! Keep doing what you are doing...he called because he thinks its weird or is worried you arent responding to him. I would completely ignore him soon- meaning dont ever respond to anything he writes. Just drop off the planet. I was going to tell you if youre ok with a casual dating situation and can handle it to keep seeing him, but I read in your first post that he wants to have other girls but you cannot have other guys? He wants to have his cake and eat it too pretty much...Id flat out ignore him and never respond to him again. This guy is really selfish and disrespectful towards you and you can do much better! He will keep doing this to you for as long as you let him. Guys treat you with the level of respect you demand, not what you deserve. Remember that You're right. It's either I tell him what I want or just disappear from his life that he'll wonder what happened. I've been living/sleeping in his house for like 2 months now and he's probably gonna start wondering why I don't do laundry there anymore and other things. I just need to take some of my stuff out of his house slowly.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 27, 2013 Author Posted February 27, 2013 Can you go to his house without him there? If I were you Id get all my crap together when hes not home, leave and then drop off the planet. He will prob go nuts and call you a million times but ignore him. Im a pretty strong brave person though so Im not sure if you can pull this off. I suggest this because he sounds manipulative and if you tell him you want to be official or that you dont want to be in his life anymore, I can guarantee hes going to try to talk his way out of it and try to convince you that you should be okay with him seeing others while you dont. This isnt good because you seem to be kind of weak when talking to him and will prob listen to him. I don't think I can pull that off. I wish I am strong as you. :/ Idk whats up with him, he acts like he owns me. And he keeps talking about when are we gonna have our kids and other stuff like that. We knew each others bank account and then after I went on that FAKE DaTE he started acting like this. We spend pretty much all our time together. He has the keys. He was joking around back then that he wants to give me a house key but I don't want to since we're not official and that'sjust weird. And then when he gave me the house key for a day when I went to his work so I can stay home and wait for him to get home from work with his dog when he got home he jokingly said *did you make a copy of the key* and i was like *no im not gonna do that*. See, i dont know when to take his jokes seriously. It's like he's doing this to me cause he wants me to be bothered by what he's doing, but obviously I'm playing it cool. I don't want him to see me bothered or act like crazy. I'm really good at hiding my feelings but it does eat me up inside and all i can do is rant it out to my friends.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 My doctor got me some anti-depressants and an appointment to a counselor. So yesterday I didn't text him back on his first two text messages and he eventually called and asked if I was upset or something but I told him I was driving and forgot to text him back and he asked what I'll be doing this day and I told him I'm going to school and I have a drs appointment. He then asked whats the drs appointment for? So I said its formy back. I didn't want to tell him my real concern on going to the drs cause I don't wanna freak him out. Surprisingly around 8:30 he was texting me about how my drs appointment went and I told him that they might have to get an xray of my back and stuff like that. Then he said maybe his bed is causing the back problem. I told him I've had back problems for years now. So he told me that I should use his inversion table cause it helped him a lot on his back. So I texted him back and said I hope so. He texted back and said tonight? And I asked him if he's home and then he said that *yes! If you want to sleep in your bed I understand but yes I am home and you can come over if you want* So then I asked him if I can come over? And he said *yes :-)* So I eventually came over cause I really wanna try that inversion table. Which was quite odd cause Ive never tried that before. Anyways thats what happened. He never usually text and ask me stuff and all of a sudden he started texting like that. Very odd.
mitchell Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Wait, is he Mexican? What does that have to do with anything? You two sound like a perfect match. Why don't you ask him to be exclusive? Do you go out on nice dates? Is he respectful to you? Is he a good lover when you have sex? Does he make sure you are satisfied?
Author kristinaaa Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 Wait, is he Mexican? What does that have to do with anything? You two sound like a perfect match. Why don't you ask him to be exclusive? Do you go out on nice dates? Is he respectful to you? Is he a good lover when you have sex? Does he make sure you are satisfied? Well I heard a lot of stuff about mexican guys. But I didn't really mind it anyway. We don't have sex that much and when we do I make sure he's satisfied. I'm coming to the point of actually telling him to be exclusive. Since everyone is telling me to tell him. So yeah, I just need to build some courage to tell him.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 (edited) Update: IT HAPPENED: I finally told him that I'm jealous. This is what happened today. Around 8 he texted me and asked if I want to come over. 15 minutes later I told him *No thanks, I'll sleep in my bed tonight* and then after that he texted me back and asked me is there something wrong? and after 15 mins or so of me thinking if I should tell him that something is bothering me. I finally told him that *I'm jealous* and he texted me back and said *Of what?* and after more minutes of me thinking.. I then told him that *That you're talking to other girls* after sending that message I put my phone on silent and hid it under my pillow. I'm too scared to know what his response is. And I can already think of him saying that one answer that I don't ever want to hear. I'm nervous right now and shaky and cold. I feel like throwing up. He probably noticed that I'm taking forever to answer his text messages now since yesterday cause he called when I didnt respond on his second text msg. And when he texted me today to check how my back is feeling it took me quite a while to respond cause I dont know if I should respond or not. Until he finally asked me tonight if there's something wrong. GAH! I don't know whats going on right now! I'm just bothered! I missed sleeping here in my bed, it's been so long since the last time I slept here. I've never been this nervous before! EDIT: He responded and said *What do you want me to say?* Oh dear, I don't think I want to text him back now. I think I'll just ignore him for a while. Edited March 1, 2013 by kristinaaa
veggirl Posted March 1, 2013 Posted March 1, 2013 You need to tell him "please leave me alone. I am looking for a real relationship and that is not what you want. I'm done with this". You are going to regret wasting so much time on some guy who does not want you. Leave him before he meets someone else and ditches you, that'll make you really depressed! Counseling sounds great for you but what are the anti depressants for? Lol fking doctors. Don't take those, just try the counseling. 1
Author kristinaaa Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 You need to tell him "please leave me alone. I am looking for a real relationship and that is not what you want. I'm done with this". You are going to regret wasting so much time on some guy who does not want you. Leave him before he meets someone else and ditches you, that'll make you really depressed! Counseling sounds great for you but what are the anti depressants for? Lol fking doctors. Don't take those, just try the counseling. I guess I'll do that when he text me. After his last text message, I did not respond and I wont ever text him until he text me. I'll let him do the move. If he doesnt, then at least I made him know what's bugging me. For now I'll just keep myself busy.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 1, 2013 Author Posted March 1, 2013 I'm not taking the anti-depressants until after my first counseling appointment. Anyhow, what the **** do I do now? I don't have many friends here in town. I mean i know a lot of people but I only hang out with people that are really close to me and it's not even that much. I'm going to try and get over him now. What do you guys do to get over someone? I don't go to clubs. I don't want to stay home because I know I'm just gonna keep on thinking about him. Right now even if I'm working I can't stop thinking about him. I tried to keep myself busy but he's still in my head. Gah! This is driving me nuts!! I need some tips!
Author kristinaaa Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I'm apologise for posting too much here. I needed to vent/rant and this is the only place I can do that and I don't want to keep making a new thread back and forth hence why I kept posting on this thread. I'm currently here at starbucks trying to keep myself busy. Since this starbucks will close at 12 midnight we'll see how long I can stay here. I hope my friend comes over so we can have dinner together. Other than that, I'm just here so I'm not home not doing anything at all. If you guys know anything that I can do to get over someone, please let me know. I would appreciate it.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 Omg I'm here at work and I feel so down. I don't know what else to do! I don't even know what to do after work too!
veggirl Posted March 2, 2013 Posted March 2, 2013 Text some of the people you know, even if they aren't close friends, and ask if they know of anything fun going on tonight. You need to get out of the house!
Author kristinaaa Posted March 2, 2013 Author Posted March 2, 2013 I do go out of the house. I stay at starbucks till 8-9pm just cause I can't stay home without feeling ****ty. I don't have many friends either. But at least I'm trying by goin to starbucks and read book/laptop there. I just don't know what else to do if I don't have many friends. I mean I'm sure there are people here who got over someone and they don't have many friends either.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 UPDATE: Omfg im back here at his house again! Wtf am i doing! He sent me a text msg last night after not responding to his last text msg and said that *tomorrow is ARE whiskey day. Dont be late!!* and then I responded him with *I have work tomorrow sorry* and then he responded with *after work!!!!* I really ****ing dont know how I can say no to him! I tried not responding to his last text msg last thursday. But I ended up back here again. I wanna beat myself up for doing this to myself! I hate myself!
Author kristinaaa Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Update: So I spent the night there again. He pretty much ranted about his taxes and how he might have to pay them and I was there listening to him. But that day I went on a wedding and while I was at the wedding he texted me that he wants a pic of me dressed up and I told him no. I just dont like sending pics of me and stuff. Lol so i got to his home and we talked about stuff (like his tax problems) and then he told me to show him the wedding pics and I told him no i took it off cause I didnt look great in it. But he got mad and he kept saying this is not gonna be a good night. But eventually I did showed him to ease off his mind cause I feel bad cause he said that I'm hiding something from him. But i wasnt really hiding anything hence why I finally showed him my phone. But when hehas his phone he started looking at all my pics and Ive never had anyone touch my phone like that. And he said 'why do you have pics of guys' and i told him those are my friends. And then he's like i dont know why youre not showing me this. And then I told him cause those pictures are nonsense! At least he knows im not hiding anything. I just dont know what hes probably thinking when he saw pics of my guy friends there but whatever. We had sex last night and he fell asleep cause he was quite drunk so I gave up and went to sleep too. He told me he doesnt understand why i dont show him those pics. I'm just not the type of person to show people and let people touch my phone. And hes actually the first person to scroll through my photos. I told him those pics are nonsense! Lately i haven't been cleaning his place. I mean i know i dont have too. But now his sink is a mess and I only made his bed. The only thing I did for him was drop off that box to UPS. I feel bad leaving his place and everything isnt clean since he's always tired from work. My friends adviced me not to do any of those stuff anymore so he'll notice it. I havent told him anything yet about me wanting a rel. I did mention to him last night that our anniversary is coming soon ( april) and he's like *oh im gonna have to ask you to marry me* and i jus laughed it off. Then he asked me if im going to marry him. And then I just ignored his question and pretend that I didnt hear it and then he asked me again and he said *will you marry me? As a joke* then I told him *I dont know* and then he's like *for you to even say that* i mean, did i say something wrong? Its not like its a serious question from him anyway. But still. I dont think i answered him wrong either. I just said I dont know cause i really dont know what to tell him.
veggirl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 This guy just has to stay home and get drunk and you show up to sex him up and then clean his house. Wow. (he might be less tired after work if he actually slept rather than passing out drunk btw)
Author kristinaaa Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 This guy just has to stay home and get drunk and you show up to sex him up and then clean his house. Wow. (he might be less tired after work if he actually slept rather than passing out drunk btw) We don't really have sex all the time. Last nights sex was Our first sex of the week. We probably hve sex like 2-3x at most. Other than that, we would just cuddle, watch tv or talk about stuff. I did told him its better to drink at home than be out at the bars though.
Author kristinaaa Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 Update: So last night I bought an orabrush for the tongue and there was 2 pieces of it in the box. I told him the other one is mine and the other one is his. So he then told me *i know what youre doing jelly!* and I was like what? And then he said *you're trying to fill the other toothbrush holder* (because theres two toothbrush holder in it, the other one has his toothbrush in it and the other one was empty) and I was like *oh shut up haha* and then he hugged me and kissed me and said *thats fine. I'm okay with it. *
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