kristinaaa Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I met this guy last year of april through my coworker. I went to his place right when we met and had sex because I thought that's all I want since I've never tried having sex out of the relationship. When I met him, I told him I only want sex and he's like whatever and just said ok. He thought that was hot when I told him that. When I met him, he was living under his mom and stepdad. He's 29 and I'm 23. He's mexican as well. If that even matters but anyway we've been sleeping with each other since last april until now. I'm pretty surprised it lasted this long as well. Back then he would asked me to pick him up because he was always drunk and I have to pick him up because I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him and I also consider him as a friend. After sleeping with him the first time I met him, I couldn't stop thinking of him. So what I did is I didn't want to let myself think that I like him because I thought I would never like a guy like him, he was living under his moms roof at 28, he's not a college graduate although he does have a stable job, he smokes/alcoholic, and he's mexican. After a couple weeks I'm still thinking about him and I'm just miserable when I don't see him. But I fought back my feelings and started telling him NO everytime he wants me to come over but there were days when I would just give up and see him cause it really bothers me that I have to say no when all I want is to see him. Then around august he didnt text me for a month and I waited and waited but kept myself busy so I wouldn't be heartbroken. One day he texted me again to come over and I did, by that time he actually got a new house and stuff. Then he told me that he was seeing a girl and that girl dumped him (that broke my heart cause I figured thats why he hasnt texted me that whole month) But i didn't react on my emotions because I didn't want to sound like I'm jealous and we started sleeping again. As time goes by I realized I'm falling harder for him and I can't help it. But I didn't want to say anything because I'm not sure if it's lust or love. One day he asked me if we're ever gonna be together, I didn't remember what I told him but it could be either I told him NO or I DONT KNOW. But I didnt want to answer that because when he asked me that he was a little tipsy. Then one time he asked me if I want to marry him and it was when we were at his friends bday party and I told him YES but thats because he was drunk and stuff so I just rode along with it. Then when he got his own house, he asked me to move in with him a couple of times and I said no and to not make stupid decisions and ****. Even though I want to, its just that I dont want to move in with someone I'm not even official with. He introduced me to pretty much most of his friends as well. December came along and my feelings haven't changed at all. In fact I think I'm in love with him but I never acted on it. My friends told me to tell him how I feel but I didn't want to because I have this mind set that a girl should wait for the guy to ask that kind of stuff even though I've already slept with him on the first time we met. I also didn't want to ruin what we have right now because I'm scared of losing him. NYE I decided to block him off of facebook/unfollowed him on instagram and texted my friend that me and her should party this NYE ball drop cause I'm heartbroken and I need a fresh New Year. I know it's not fair to just block him out of nowhere but I can't help it. I'm tired of waiting for him and I keep thinking maybe he doesnt like me thats why he's not asking me? I dont know but I just want to forget things and move on. NYE around 1am he called me to pick him up but I declined. WHY? Because I met someone in the club and went home with that guy (NO SEX though) I told this new guy I'm trying to get over someone and even then he was actually really nice about it and we still decided to go on a date. I feel so bad that I didn't pick up the other guy because I can't stop worrying about him and how he got home blablabla. anyways I moved on and kept thinking he doesnt like me and he's using me. So anyway around January he texted me around 6 pm. I was surprised he asked me that early, I mean why? And he's like my friends are here and he wants to hang out. And I came over and I met his close friends and everything. We had a good time, I was happy all over again. It's like he's my kryptonite cause now I actually say yes whenever he asked me to do things and to come over. That night I was drunk and nearly passing out when this other guy that I met on NYE called me.. after that I was still talking to him on the phone when this guy came on to the bedroom and heard me talking to the NYE guy and he grabbed the phone off me and told him *I don't think she'll ever gonna call you again* by then I passed out and he told me the next day he did told him that. I usually never sleep over at his house even when he used to lived under his moms. I always leave before 3am. After that incident we started hanging out more until now. It has gotten to the point where we both feel like we're living like a married couple. It got into that point after I slept over the first time and he seemed like he likes it. It's like I'm there all the time. Even though we don't have sex all the time. We're just hanging and sleeping without sex. One day I came over to his house after going out with my guy friend and my girl friend and him and his neighbors were drinking hard liquor. When his neighbors left I told him I got him some food from the restaurant and I told him I went out with my guy friend and my girl friend. As soon as he heard the guy friend he started getting mad and said he doesnt want to eat that food anymore and he got more mad and started telling me that *youre not supposed to meet other guys! and I can meet other girls!* So i told him back well if youre gonna play that game then I'll play that game too!* but he insisted that I shouldn't see other guys and then he KICKED ME OUT OF HIS HOUSE! I was so mad and scared cause I had a drink and I don't want to lose my license for drunk driving but I drove myself home cause I don't know what he might do, knowing that he's drunk. When I got home he texted me and said him: You acted immature tonight me: youre very drunk and incapable of making rational decisions! I can't believe you'll do such thing! him: You went out with another guy. me: that was my friend and my girl friend!!! that guy even has his own girlfriend! That next morning (SUPERBOWL DAY) he texted me *Sorry about last night* and I didnt respond the whole day cause I felt like he needs to learn his lesson and I want to talk to my friends about what just happened. So I decided to go with my girl friend and watch superbowl in the bar. After that around 8pm I got a text from him and said to come over with a sad face and I told him *so what? so you can kick me out again?* and then he said *he was drunk so please. im sorry* So I ended up coming over cause I don't like to wait out on things like this cause I do want to see him too. My friends told me that he's really jealous. He's drunk and jealous. Not a good combo. (I do think he was jealous cause he never act out like that) So I got to his place and told him not to do that again cause nobody treats me like that and he said sorry. BUT I LIED TO HIM. I was so mad at what he did that I told him I met someone at the bar during superbowl and he's taking me on a date this friday! And then he said *well good for you!* and he started saying he wants to haNG OUT with me on friday! but he said it like its a joke but I can tell he didnt want me to go. Thursday came and my friend and I decided to post a pic of flowers on instagram to make him see if hes really jealous and when I posted the pic I got a text from him and asked who gave me those flowers and I told him that guy from the sports bar! and he didnt respond. After that around 11 pm I got a text from him and said he can't sleep and wants me to come sleep with him which I did so we can wake up together. Friday came along (the day of the FAKE DATE) I got a text from him around 8pm and said *BEHAVE YOURSELF TONIGHT!!!!!!* and I responded back by saying you behave yourself too! but i got no text back and just left it there. The next day he texted me and asked me him: How was your date? me: it was okay. him: any second date on the mix? me: i dont know. he wanted me to go to his sisters wedding next week and I told him i'll check my schedule. him: I'm jelly me: I know. wanna see me tonight? So i came over to his house and we hanged and had some drinks but even then he did admitted that he's jealous. After that I still can't stop thinking that I lied to him. I never wanna hurt his feelings and I dont want to lose hin because of that. But we kept everything the same way, come over and sleep there like the usual stuff. But last night I came over around 9 pm cause he said he's not home and he'll call me when he gets home and he said he wants me to bring him dinner and if I could buy some cigarretes. When i got there I we asked how each other was and then I asked him where he went? and he speechless for a bit and he then said he went on a date!!!! I was like youre telling me that?!!! but I tried to remain calm but it was so hard and I told him that I'm jelly! I can't believe I admitted to him that I'm jealous. he was like it's your fault! you never talk and never tell me what you want! Then I told him to stop and I dont want to talk about it and i just want to eat my pancake! then he mentioned to me when am I going to take him to my apartment so I can cook for him! And Im like *what?! you know i dont invite anyone at my place blabla* and then I immediately said *fine! WHEN DO YOU WANT TO COME OVER?!* And he's like whenever you want me to come over! and It ended over there. We weren't yelling at each other but I knew there was some tension over there even though hes joking a little bit. What do I do with my situation?!!! I bought him this GOLD LABEL JOHNIE WALKER DRINK and I want to surprise him with this. Now I'm sure of what I feel about him. I want to be with him! It took me forever to think about this but that's because I want to make sure it's not just all about sex! I just couldn't bring myself to tell him this because I don't want to stop what we have right now and I'm scare he's going to say no and I cant stop thinking that he's going to reject me! this has been eating me up for so long and I've had a bad relationship in the past. I really need some advice. I don't know how to bring this up to him. I never text him to let myself come over, I never push myself to him, I just always wait for him to text me and stuff. The first time I met him I was confident that i told him i only wanted sex, but now it's changed! Knowing that I knew he got jealous a couple of times and i got jealous a lot of times. I don't know where to start. He had gotten me pregnant last december as well but I had an abortion. Any opinions and advices are welcome. I just need to let this out and actually have some real opinions/advices from the people here. Thank you.
iKING Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Whoa I feel like I just read the backstory to a sitcom. It sounds like you'll need to do some advances if you want it to go anywhere, you two act like you're dating anyways. Guys can be stubborn, waiting for the girl to make a move or confess true intents. Alcohol/weed breeds immaturity, so that may be something to look out for. Once in awhile is no biggie, constantly is more of an issue. He seems to be pretty entwined in your descision making, and visa versa, so there's obviously something going on there, whether It's serious or just assumed to be serious is something you two will have to figure out. He obviously wants a exclusive relationship with you, so that's a sign of some sort. 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I feel like killing myself after hearing the word "jelly" hate it soooooooooooo much. I could say more on that, but it's not the point... Ah, your relationship sounds troubled. Sounds like lots of drinking, lying, and sex. I'm not sure if there is much more than that That's just my opinion though...
Author kristinaaa Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I feel like killing myself after hearing the word "jelly" hate it soooooooooooo much. I could say more on that, but it's not the point... Ah, your relationship sounds troubled. Sounds like lots of drinking, lying, and sex. I'm not sure if there is much more than that That's just my opinion though... Thanks. But I was the one who lied and I never lied since then. I'm too scared to lose him and I'm scared of karma as well hence why I stopped lying about it. But thanks for you input though.
clia Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 This entire story is so immature. After reading it, I don't at all know what you see in this guy. Why do you want to be with him? What does he have to offer you? That said, I'm going to give you advice that I never give anyone: Just ask him if he wants to be exclusive and be your boyfriend. Nothing is going to change if you don't, given your past history. One of you needs to step up and define your relationship. If he's too "jelly" (ugh), insecure, and immature to do it, then I guess you are going to have to do it. If he says no, then you have to go no contact. You are way too invested in this guy, and there is way too much drama here for you to continue on as you are.
SmileFace Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 This could be a reality show: "Alcoholic Mexican 30 Year Olds That Live with their Parents and the Girls that Love Them." To guys that complain about not getting girls, this guy is your god. It shows the power of emotional investment. Not fair - he has his own place now. 1
Author kristinaaa Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 This entire story is so immature. After reading it, I don't at all know what you see in this guy. Why do you want to be with him? What does he have to offer you? That said, I'm going to give you advice that I never give anyone: Just ask him if he wants to be exclusive and be your boyfriend. Nothing is going to change if you don't, given your past history. One of you needs to step up and define your relationship. If he's too "jelly" (ugh), insecure, and immature to do it, then I guess you are going to have to do it. If he says no, then you have to go no contact. You are way too invested in this guy, and there is way too much drama here for you to continue on as you are. I like spending time with him and I've been thinking about this for months. I just cant stand not being with him. You're right, I need to tell him since I was the one at fault who gave him an impression that I know what I want and I'll tell h when I want. I'll bring it up as soon as he invites me over again. I'll say it once I give him the gift.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 Bump. I'm so frustrated. I really wanna tell him but i can't find the right timing. Last night he told me to let his dog in but i had to stop over at his work to get the house key and then I brought him a little grocery like milk/banana/water bottles and his favorite chips. He got off work pretty late around 11pm and I went to bed early cause i was really sleepy. I wanna do more for him like cook and stuff but I didn't want to do too much. Ugh I don't know what to do now
5anta Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Bump. I'm so frustrated. I really wanna tell him but i can't find the right timing. Last night he told me to let his dog in but i had to stop over at his work to get the house key and then I brought him a little grocery like milk/banana/water bottles and his favorite chips. He got off work pretty late around 11pm and I went to bed early cause i was really sleepy. I wanna do more for him like cook and stuff but I didn't want to do too much. Ugh I don't know what to do now Hmmm.. wish I could act a little indifferent like your guy. Maybe the girl I am interested in will notice me more. hah. Girl, I think you deserve so much better, but as the other posters here say: You're already too emotionally invested. So I guess the problem is you want him to reciprocate your attentiveness and affection more, but he is not. I think he has his priorities out of order. Anyways, whatever we may say... you will only select what you want to hear or see from here haha. Good luck to you!
sid3 Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 This could be a reality show: "Alcoholic Mexican 30 Year Olds That Live with their Parents and the Girls that Love Them." To guys that complain about not getting girls, this guy is your god. It shows the power of emotional investment. Quoted for truth... 1
Author kristinaaa Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 Hmmm.. wish I could act a little indifferent like your guy. Maybe the girl I am interested in will notice me more. hah. Girl, I think you deserve so much better, but as the other posters here say: You're already too emotionally invested. So I guess the problem is you want him to reciprocate your attentiveness and affection more, but he is not. I think he has his priorities out of order. Anyways, whatever we may say... you will only select what you want to hear or see from here haha. Good luck to you! He does. He's just the type of guy who's not romantic and say cheesy stuff which is the same as me. I don't say cheesy romantic stuff too. I show them through my actions. And I knew he's the same cause he acted out when he got jealous. I'm just saying, cause I keep on making an excuse to not tell him but i know i gotta let himknow otherwise we'll both wait and wait and wait.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 This week I pretty much slept there since monday night until last night. I mean I do sleep there a lot like 3-5 days in a week. I think I need to step up my game no matter how hard it is since I've never done stuff like this before.
Green Light Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 to long ////////.................boring Can we get a super condensed version, OP? I have a headache and can't read all that text. All I know is that there is a drunk Mexican guy involved and now I'm hungry for Taco Bell and a margarita. Thanks. 3
FitChick Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Have you always been attracted to losers? 1
Author kristinaaa Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 How is he a loser when he has a stable job that pays more than I do? And the fact that he has his own 1st house last year. He's a hardworker. I dont think that's a loser at all.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Update: He's in jail right now. I tried to save him but by the time I got to his house the cops were there. I'm so heartbroken. I got out of my car and he said my name and I couldn't even help him. I called in at work for today cause I just wanna forget that this happened
Author kristinaaa Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 He's out now. I picked him up this morning and im still here at his house taking care of him making sure he's okay and do nothing crazy again. I'm really down of what happened.
Author kristinaaa Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 So we were driving to the store this afternoon and he said *you know i talk to other girls right?* and I was like yeah *yeah I know* and then he said *doesnt that bother you? *then I told him *yes it does but what else am i suppose to do?, i told you I'm jealous.* then it stopped there cause I shifted the conversation to him being an alcoholic cause he's so depressed of what happened the other night. He's sleeping right now beside me but i know he's depressed cause he's so distant eventhough i've been keeping myself around him so he wont feel lonely alone. I feel like I'm torturing myself with this but at the same time I do want to show him that I care about him. I'm really confused of what to do!
ChessPieceFace Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 I refuse to believe this is a genuine story. I refuse to believe any woman could fawn over a guy who is such a drunken worthless waste. 1
Author kristinaaa Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 I refuse to believe this is a genuine story. I refuse to believe any woman could fawn over a guy who is such a drunken worthless waste. Idk why either. I can't help how I feel about it. I just played it cool when he told me that cause I didn't want to act on my emotions and be a psycho especially that we're not even official.
pbjbear Posted February 26, 2013 Posted February 26, 2013 Stop wasting time on this guy and go to a mental health counselor to work on your self esteem. Id research codependency before then
Author kristinaaa Posted February 26, 2013 Author Posted February 26, 2013 Stop wasting time on this guy and go to a mental health counselor to work on your self esteem. Id research codependency before then I wish it's that easy. Today I just left his house after he went to work and I didn't wash his clothes. I only made his bed. Usually I make sure everything is nice and clean because I stay there most of the time and treat everything like mine as well. He's probably gonna wonder why. But who knows. My plan today is to ignore him (if he ever text me). And hopefully it starts from there.
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