uni-versal Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 My girlfriend of a few months is very shy. i knew this from the start but it is beginning to really bug me. her friends tell me that it is her first relationship ever and she doesn't really know what to do. while she is getting better about the whole texting thing (she used to not respond much and not text me much and said it was because she didn't want to bother me) and she acts like a girlfriend when we're alone, when we're around friends she acts weird. she won't walk with me or sit with me unless i initiate it and sometimes (like today) she'll be sitting somewhere were i cant even sit next to her and won't move. it's bothering me because i am not clingy but i think its fair to want to feel needed. she wont say i love you unless i say it first and i had to basically force it out of her... she had told me that she "felt that way" but was too scared to say it because she felt like its a scary thing to say - which it is. she doesn't really look at people when she talks to them kinda like this:
iKING Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Holy adorable. Haha! Just give her time to come out of her shell. If she's that shy but still interested in you that's a good sign. Just be cool about it and with any luck she'll open up to you with time. 1
Author uni-versal Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Holy adorable. Haha! Just give her time to come out of her shell. If she's that shy but still interested in you that's a good sign. Just be cool about it and with any luck she'll open up to you with time. I guess what really bothers me is the emotional openess. I feel like she wouldn't come to me if she had a serious problem she wanted to talk to someone about.
iKING Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I guess what really bothers me is the emotional openess. I feel like she wouldn't come to me if she had a serious problem she wanted to talk to someone about. That's a bond time will have to create with the shy ones, she likely only talks to her best girl friend about problems if even that. You could try opening up to her and see if it triggers a response you're looking for, but there's no absolutes. Be there for her and have her back, that's about the best you can do for now, if she sees you're someone she can rely on she may start to open up.
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I guess what really bothers me is the emotional openess. I feel like she wouldn't come to me if she had a serious problem she wanted to talk to someone about. you said when you are alone together she treats you as a girlfriend would, then she will open up to you when you are alone, putting a shy person into a social context is a journey, theres lots fo emotions in there, i fyou are not shy it is understandable that you dont understand how much it takes to interact with people when you are shy at heart...it doesnt end when you leave that social context it continues after when you question what you did where you sat what you said and hwo people reacted, shy people are often observers simply fro the fact they are.......observing ......not speaking...eye sliding is common among shy people and bad liars, shy people will glance often and slide their eyes to the side .....good liars dont, they are forthright, look you straight in the eye without warmth normally they tend to be cold at heart when i have to speak and i am passionate i actually dont look at people directly ill look off into the distance or to the side of peoples faces its a defense mechanism i have developed to allow me to talk...one day who knows, maybe i can show the warmth in my face and not worry about it or maybe people get it already...you cant push a shy person into being who they arent...shy at heart is something that is there for life......you just develop ways to come out and deal with it.....its manageable...shy girls you know have a lot to offer, just as much as confident ones...just different it all depends on what you are attracted to i guess and if it is worth extra effort....sometimes the best things in life are worth the effort.....they can be more valuable if you are effort inclined ..... when you appreciate the effort it took to get there....best wishes....i think she will be open with you ....when you are alone together....deb
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