Author Mount Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 That is for sure I had asked myself such question, what about this time. As I stated in previous posts yes I have lots of feeling still for MM, but I am also ver tired and exhausted every time we break up then go back. MM said as well he does not like that either. I really can not imagine it goes on for years like that, that was one of reason I was pushing hard asking MM make choice. What is or is there anything different this time? I mean you've posted this so many times.......but you go back. Are you gonna do it this time or just talk about it?
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I can not control my feeling (emotion), or maybe he is not mine, which makes me to want him more? I know it is absolutely immature, but I really don't have passion or feeling for previous single guys I have dated. No, not maybe..He ISN'T yours. He never was Mount. The thrill of the chase, cat and mouse game and a HUGE ego feed. That is NOT love at all. It's an unhealthy game/addiction/ego feed you both have going on. Not loving, not caring, not respectful at all. You don't have passion for anybody else because you're too emotionally attached to the exMM and the drama/intensity that goes with having an A. You on some level enjoy that and it's so taboo, which makes it more exciting. Trust me, you CAN and WILL find a happier, healthier and intense love with someone who can love, respect just you. There are thousands of great men out there, single ones who you can connect with.
Author Mount Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Even though the rationality from MM side (mostly) and my side is knowing we should take a break or end A, emotionally it is hard to let it go. No, not maybe..He ISN'T yours. He never was Mount. The thrill of the chase, cat and mouse game and a HUGE ego feed. That is NOT love at all. It's an unhealthy game/addiction/ego feed you both have going on. Not loving, not caring, not respectful at all. You don't have passion for anybody else because you're too emotionally attached to the exMM and the drama/intensity that goes with having an A. You on some level enjoy that and it's so taboo, which makes it more exciting. Trust me, you CAN and WILL find a happier, healthier and intense love with someone who can love, respect just you. There are thousands of great men out there, single ones who you can connect with.
whichwayisup Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 So, let it be hard. Big deal. Tons of stuff in life hurts and is tough to deal with at times. That pain won't kill you. He's a HABIT. Habits can be broken, just be strong and focus on other and more important parts of your life. Ego pain can be just as hard to let go of, especially since you're very emotionally attached to. Your head knows better Mount. Deep down you know this too so don't let ego rule over your better judgement. If you want out, want no more affair, then make it so! You're not gonna die if he isn't in your life anymore. Whatever purpose he serves/served really is going no where and is only bringing pain and confusion, drama and bullshi.t in your life. Is all this worth it?? For what? Think about it. 2
KathyM Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 As long as you are investing your emotions in this MM, you will not be emotionally available to have a relationship with someone else. You will be not willing to give yourself emotionally to someone who is available because you are still investing yourself emotionally in the MM. The sooner you cut the MM out of your life completely, both physically and emotionally, the sooner you will allow yourself to be open to a real relationship with an available man.
Author Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 Yes I so want to let it go, he wants to obviously, for the both sake of us. Today he talked about over the phone why rationally we should end the A but cried his eyes. It is so hard....:( So, let it be hard. Big deal. Tons of stuff in life hurts and is tough to deal with at times. That pain won't kill you. He's a HABIT. Habits can be broken, just be strong and focus on other and more important parts of your life. Ego pain can be just as hard to let go of, especially since you're very emotionally attached to. Your head knows better Mount. Deep down you know this too so don't let ego rule over your better judgement. If you want out, want no more affair, then make it so! You're not gonna die if he isn't in your life anymore. Whatever purpose he serves/served really is going no where and is only bringing pain and confusion, drama and bullshi.t in your life. Is all this worth it?? For what? Think about it.
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Yes I so want to let it go, he wants to obviously, for the both sake of us. Today he talked about over the phone why rationally we should end the A but cried his eyes. It is so hard....:( Ask him to not call or text you. Why are you still talking to him Mount? Hearing him upset is just going to make it even harder for you to let go. Anyway, still think if you want it over, make it over for real this time..Otherwise this A is going to pick up again next month.
Author Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 Remember we work together, even though we don't need to see each other in person but we do have contact via email, messenger...etc. At this current harsh economic and company keeps letting people go, we don't want to mess about work, which is one of reasons we rationally think we should take a break. Since we both decide to let A go at the moment, as hard as it could be, especially on me. I know dating another single gentleman may not sound fair to him (the single guy I mean), but I would least to have a try since he chases after me, at least it is a distraction for me away from MM that I have so much emotion with. Ask him to not call or text you. Why are you still talking to him Mount? Hearing him upset is just going to make it even harder for you to let go. Anyway, still think if you want it over, make it over for real this time..Otherwise this A is going to pick up again next month.
whichwayisup Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Running to another guy to fix something within you, isn't the answer. It'll just cause confusion and more heartache. If you DO plan on dating, let the guy know that you are still very much into someone else and that's an on/off again situation. Don't lead him on, that's not right/fair to him. Maybe you should try being on your own with NO man. Rely on good women friends and family to help you, keep you busy etc.. As for work, you only deal with him for work related issues, nothing else. No chit chat through emails or IM's. It's pointless.
Author Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 No, no need to. I can be others' counsellor when just talking the talk - why you settle so little, low self-esteem, why interested in unavailable man, love yourself....etc etc. (BTW I love myself too much anyway) This is not case. And it might be separate topic - for North American people they always try to use childhood abuse, being molester, parents divorcing as the excuse and always talk about things to their therapists as the cause for themsleves' adult behavior, that is so wrong... Anyway, back to your question, no, no counsellor. And I had used a few session 6 or 7 years ago when just divorcing my EX and tried to find someone to vent, and they were not helpful at all. My whole point in my life is that, I am alway eager to see result...so far I have achieved what I want to get...but particular in this case, I guess I pushed a bit hard which is causing opposite result that I expect to get. Are you seeing a counselor now Mount?
Author Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 All my life, I was always able to get what I want, but in this case, it seems not successful yet as everybody says he (the MM) is not mine or never was. So I am trying to accept another single gentleman whom is after me, however, naturally my mind is still thinking of MM all the time. And what do you intend to get?
Catplates Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 All my life, I was always able to get what I want, but in this case, it seems not successful yet as everybody says he (the MM) is not mine or never was. So I am trying to accept another single gentleman whom is after me, however, naturally my mind is still thinking of MM all the time. Mount, Don't be a user! The single gentleman doesn't deserve to be your fall back guy. Rebound relationships are doomed to failure. Do you want to hurt this single man? Cat 2
Author Mount Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 I agree, I won't intentionally. Mount, Don't be a user! The single gentleman doesn't deserve to be your fall back guy. Rebound relationships are doomed to failure. Do you want to hurt this single man? Cat
2sunny Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 It will never end with your MM unless YOU end it. It is completely up to you. He's not available - why waste one more minute thinking he's gonna make you his priority when he never has yet? Why don't you think you deserve better?
Author Mount Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Thus I am going out with the single gentleman. At least start from action on the surface. It will never end with your MM unless YOU end it. It is completely up to you. He's not available - why waste one more minute thinking he's gonna make you his priority when he never has yet? Why don't you think you deserve better?
Author Mount Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 I started the thread is because I wanted to talk about the fact that is happening. You should know me well now I am NEVER interested in talking about those empty "deserve better" "hold head high up"...slogan. I always want the best for myself, of course I expect the best for myself, but in real world not every wish comes true INSTANTLY. Reality is reality, the byproduct is sometime disappointing. Why do you start these threads mount? Isn't this number 101? Did you really think seriously about getting out of the affair? Your posts in the other thread were justifying it, you were essentially telling her it was OK, just as long as she didn't expect much. Sad that you would do that........to yourself and to her.
2sunny Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 No mount - the byproduct is what YOU have ALOWED! What happens because of YOUR CHOICES! YOU can choose to say NO MORE - and stick with it - but you don't. Don't stand there wondering why it continues = it does because YOU don't do more to make it finished once and for all. Watching you post on that other thread made me understand you have no intention of ending it. To put yourself at the mercy of your cheating MM - means it will never end...he won't give up his cake. YOU will have to DO that FOR yourself.
Author Mount Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 I K-N-O-W it consciously. I did not question why it continues, why I need to ask since I am the captain of whole event. No mount - the byproduct is what YOU have ALOWED! What happens because of YOUR CHOICES! YOU can choose to say NO MORE - and stick with it - but you don't. Don't stand there wondering why it continues = it does because YOU don't do more to make it finished once and for all. Watching you post on that other thread made me understand you have no intention of ending it. To put yourself at the mercy of your cheating MM - means it will never end...he won't give up his cake. YOU will have to DO that FOR yourself.
2sunny Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I K-N-O-W it consciously. Then usually when people know - they DO something about it = action to correct the situation they are in. Unless they love self inflicted pain...?
Recommended Posts