ls32ssibm Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) Okay, so this is like half-related to dating because it's how a lot of these obsessions start. Has anybody ever seen "Stalked: Someone's Watching" on the Investigation Discovery channel? These women are completely terrorized for sometimes years on end, and some just wait to be murdered knowing full-well that it's probably coming. The police usually have their hands tied, and if they do apprehend the stalker he's out in a matter of months or at best a year or two. What's baffling to me is about zero percent of these women think of buying a gun or something else that could potentially save their life. I mean, if you know the dudes following you, don't you think him seeing you walking into a gun store would make him think twice? Is it just a thing with women to where they are wired to believe that cannot legitimately protect themselves or something? Edited February 21, 2013 by ls32ssibm
todreaminblue Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Okay, so this is like half-related to dating because it's how a lot of these obsessions start. Has anybody ever seen "Stalked: Someone's Watching" on the Investigation Discovery channel? These women are completely terrorized for sometimes years on end, and some just wait to be murdered knowing full-well that it's probably coming. The police usually have their hands tied, and if they do apprehend the stalker he's out in a matter of months or at best a year or two. What's baffling to me is about zero percent of these women think of buying a gun or something else that could potentially save their life. I mean, if you know the dudes following you, don't you think him seeing you walking into a gun store would make him think twice? Is it just a thing with women to where they are wired to believe that cannot legitimately protect themselves or something? no most women dont know they are being stalked.......because if they get that feeling they throw it off as paranoia...the idea of stalking someone is the fact you are unaware until it happens that you are being observed, with technology today and capabilities of computers it is possible to track someone from a lounge room and not be in plain sight or talk about the miracles of blue tooth and hidden applications on mobile phones...you can track a persons whereabouts and every move.........most average women dont know how to use a gun let alone have a license to carry a concealed firearm...telling women to buy guns...stupidity........ this is what i know, i can sit curled up in my home liek i hav efor eyars or i can get out and put faith in god if something happens he will give me the strength i need to get through it...no matter how bad it is...ill make it.......because i am here typing this message seems to be working........i know exacly how i will react face to face with soemone, ill freeze fro a while get myself centered then i will react, i am not going to go in aggressive or seeking to mutilate or maim anyone......i am going in for my own survival no ones death...my will to live and faith in god...i fthat cant get me through.....then its my time to go......as i hav esadi before when i have been threatened from abusive guys..........bring it when you are ready...dotn threaten m e, you know wher ei live , so do what you have to...and ill do what i have to.......thats logical realism...i am only a woman.......adn if they fele the need to prove their masculinity by scaring the crap out o f me...they are cowards anyway........so i can hold my five four height....and be calm on the outside i hold my fear in check.......i am braver than them they just dont realise it........deb
Author ls32ssibm Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 no most women dont know they are being stalked.......because if they get that feeling they throw it off as paranoia...the idea of stalking someone is the fact you are unaware until it happens that you are being observed, with technology today and capabilities of computers it is possible to track someone from a lounge room and not be in plain sight or talk about the miracles of blue tooth and hidden applications on mobile phones...you can track a persons whereabouts and every move.........most average women dont know how to use a gun let alone have a license to carry a concealed firearm...telling women to buy guns...stupidity........ this is what i know, i can sit curled up in my home liek i hav efor eyars or i can get out and put faith in god if something happens he will give me the strength i need to get through it...no matter how bad it is...ill make it.......because i am here typing this message seems to be working........i know exacly how i will react face to face with soemone, ill freeze fro a while get myself centered then i will react, i am not going to go in aggressive or seeking to mutilate or maim anyone......i am going in for my own survival no ones death...my will to live and faith in god...i fthat cant get me through.....then its my time to go......as i hav esadi before when i have been threatened from abusive guys..........bring it when you are ready...dotn threaten m e, you know wher ei live , so do what you have to...and ill do what i have to.......thats logical realism...i am only a woman.......adn if they fele the need to prove their masculinity by scaring the crap out o f me...they are cowards anyway........so i can hold my five four height....and be calm on the outside i hold my fear in check.......i am braver than them they just dont realise it........deb I'm referring to the ones that are aware. They get constant calls, the stalker sometimes acts like they are in a relationship, etc...the victim almost always goes to the police which can't do anything unless there is a valid threat, which do come eventually.
todreaminblue Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I'm referring to the ones that are aware. They get constant calls, the stalker sometimes acts like they are in a relationship, etc...the victim almost always goes to the police which can't do anything unless there is a valid threat, which do come eventually. the worse thing you can do in a stalking situation is go out and buy a gun......panic....is what gets you killed....and normally by the weapon you purchased in a confrontational situation the last thing you need to be thinking about is did i take the safety off i really dont want to kill him i dont want to shoot i dont want to shoot him........i dotn want his brains on my face....if they are in close contact range, chances are he has your gun already why you are thinking that......thats what i am talking about, you need to be concentrating on talking him around,its all about mediation, what is a natural reaction for a guy to do if he is confronted with a life ending situation.......survival mode....... he will fight like an animal...women are giving nurturing qualities for a reason to nurture life...including her own ...mediation is the best option and the first option to take regardless of whether the guy thinks he is in a relationship with you or not....all guys who stalk have a relationship with the woman they stalk....it is a form of mental illness........their perception is skewed.......you alleviate the situation with understanding that......you watch his moves, use what he has said to you in the past to get through to him .....pray to god you findthe right words to say........you get him to see you as a woman not as a combatant....so yes .....you go the submissive route before you get ready to fight....not only does that maybe stop something from happening, he starts to look at you as being weaker than him,do you know how many animals in the animal kingdom play injured to draw away an attacker....gives a false sense of security to the attacker.....fighting for survival is pure strategy and faith...belief you can get through it...as i said what happens happens......if you are mean tto survive....you do...rifles are for farms and guns are for defense force personnel and police officers...deb
Treasa Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Okay, so this is like half-related to dating because it's how a lot of these obsessions start. Has anybody ever seen "Stalked: Someone's Watching" on the Investigation Discovery channel? These women are completely terrorized for sometimes years on end, and some just wait to be murdered knowing full-well that it's probably coming. The police usually have their hands tied, and if they do apprehend the stalker he's out in a matter of months or at best a year or two. What's baffling to me is about zero percent of these women think of buying a gun or something else that could potentially save their life. I mean, if you know the dudes following you, don't you think him seeing you walking into a gun store would make him think twice? Is it just a thing with women to where they are wired to believe that cannot legitimately protect themselves or something? I don't know. I'd take the mother****er down and make sure his body would never be found.
todreaminblue Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I don't know. I'd take the mother****er down and make sure his body would never be found. have you ever been up against someone bigger stronger faster than you....deb 1
Author ls32ssibm Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 the worse thing you can do in a stalking situation is go out and buy a gun......panic....is what gets you killed....and normally by the weapon you purchased in a confrontational situation the last thing you need to be thinking about is did i take the safety off i really dont want to kill him i dont want to shoot i dont want to shoot him........i dotn want his brains on my face....if they are in close contact range, chances are he has your gun already why you are thinking that......thats what i am talking about, you need to be concentrating on talking him around,its all about mediation, what is a natural reaction for a guy to do if he is confronted with a life ending situation.......survival mode....... he will fight like an animal...women are giving nurturing qualities for a reason to nurture life...including her own ...mediation is the best option and the first option to take regardless of whether the guy thinks he is in a relationship with you or not....all guys who stalk have a relationship with the woman they stalk....it is a form of mental illness........their perception is skewed.......you alleviate the situation with understanding that......you watch his moves, use what he has said to you in the past to get through to him .....pray to god you findthe right words to say........you get him to see you as a woman not as a combatant....so yes .....you go the submissive route before you get ready to fight....not only does that maybe stop something from happening, he starts to look at you as being weaker than him,do you know how many animals in the animal kingdom play injured to draw away an attacker....gives a false sense of security to the attacker.....fighting for survival is pure strategy and faith...belief you can get through it...as i said what happens happens......if you are mean tto survive....you do...rifles are for farms and guns are for defense force personnel and police officers...deb Was this by chance written by that dog in the profile picture? have you ever been up against someone bigger stronger faster than you....deb That's why guns are known as equalizers. But, as you suggested, most women would just end up shooting themselves with it, right?
Necris Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 have you ever been up against someone bigger stronger faster than you....deb That's what a gun is for, as for you being unable to shoot the guy dead, that's what gun training is for. You don't just buy a gun you need to know how to use it, and be willing to use it as well.
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Was this by chance written by that dog in the profile picture? have you ever been up against someone bigger stronger faster than you....deb That's why guns are known as equalizers. But, as you suggested, most women would just end up shooting themselves with it, right? ok you wont know until something happens to you how you react in a life threatening situation you cant until you face one......the dog in the picture is my 1500 dollar pedigree rottweiler..called xena....who i will get trained...have you ever wondered why if guns are so fantastic a weapon and guaranteed safety precaution why defence officers and police have dogs......guns run out of bullets maybe dogs facilitate and allow the non necessity o fhaving to use deadly force with loyalty and safe guardedness used from an animal that would die for you........the loyalty of an animal take it over a gun anyday....all these upgrades and a dog is a better bet funny that.... .guns dont actually give a crap what happens to you....also if you are walking down the street with a rottie or carrying a concealed weapon who is going to be approached.umm the woman with the handbag and concealed weapon maybe.....dont treat me like i dont know anything...i have been in a life threatening situation once or twice have you......and i have mediated my way out of it and i know what it feels like to lose too and cop a hit or two.....do you know what its like to be a woman who has to defend herself...no...shut up then...cheers smart ass....deb
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 That's what a gun is for, as for you being unable to shoot the guy dead, that's what gun training is for. You don't just buy a gun you need to know how to use it, and be willing to use it as well. yeah i have had military training slr 45 with bayonnett attachment 303 shells can hit a target 80 per cent accuracy at 200 metres...i prefer a dog.....and seeing how i have been in life threatening situations i stand by my advice and urge women who read this thread to take my advice before purchasing and getting training with weapons that are not fail proof a dog is fail proof ...its also a strong deterrent.........thank you for your polite response...i appreciate that....deb 1
Emilia Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I don't know. I'd take the mother****er down and make sure his body would never be found. Yeah me too. I don't understand why some women never do anything about it and just suffer. Ok there are times when she doesn't know or it escalates so quickly that she has no chance but often she just suffers. I wouldn't buy a gun but I would find a way to have a 'chat' with that guy. 1
irc333 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Yeah, now this is real stalking. I get a kick out of how women call men stalkers when it's not even warranted. They say it even in a joking manner, "Yeah, I think I have a stalker, Jason likes me" They use it in a context of having a "crush". Okay, so this is like half-related to dating because it's how a lot of these obsessions start. Has anybody ever seen "Stalked: Someone's Watching" on the Investigation Discovery channel? These women are completely terrorized for sometimes years on end, and some just wait to be murdered knowing full-well that it's probably coming. The police usually have their hands tied, and if they do apprehend the stalker he's out in a matter of months or at best a year or two. What's baffling to me is about zero percent of these women think of buying a gun or something else that could potentially save their life. I mean, if you know the dudes following you, don't you think him seeing you walking into a gun store would make him think twice? Is it just a thing with women to where they are wired to believe that cannot legitimately protect themselves or something?
Archgirl Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Guys do it too, a ton of the guys I met through OLD all described at least one of the previous chicks they'd met as a stalker, mostly because she acted like she liked them or was a bit needy. Such a turn off when guys do that, shows a lack of empathy and respect for those more vulnerable 1
Treasa Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 have you ever been up against someone bigger stronger faster than you....deb Yes, actually. In martial arts and weapons training, everyone is bigger and usually faster. Also, please note that I didn't say I'd be sitting around and waiting. My mom has actually been the target of a stalker, and let's just say that size really doesn't matter as much as a lot of other things do.
AMusing Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I am one of those women who was recently stalked by an ex and didn't buy a gun. I'm going to walk through my experience and thought processes (I think it was a typical reaction), so forgive the length. It starts off as typical heartbroken male behavior (calling, begging for a second chance, bringing gifts, apologies, etc). You block his phone and email, but he starts calling from different lines. He creates new email accounts. You expect it to end soon, but it doesn't; it gets worse. The constant barrage of attention makes you feel guilty, makes you question your decision--especially if you broke up because he just wasn't giving you enough attention! Some friends tell you what he's doing is romantic, that you should give him another chance. You start doubting yourself, how you're reacting to the situation. You're also exhausted by the sheer amount of attention being thrown at you. He becomes a constant presence in your life. If he's not there, you start to wonder where he is.... You hear a car driving down your street, and you tense up. A knock on your office door makes you jump. A delivery makes you feel nauseated: what's he sent you now? But you ex hasn't actually done or said anything blatantly threatening. They rarely do; it's just insinuations, and even those aren't written down. You finally talk to the police. You feel like a moron, telling the cops you're scared because some guy won't stop leaving presents at your doorstep. Hopefully they'll be supportive (mine were; a lot of women aren't so lucky), but really there isn't much they can do. They go over restraining orders with you. They tell you to call the next time he comes to your house. But you don't know when he's there; he's sneakier than that. He's the type who leaves when he's been spotted, but then always comes back. He'd be long gone by the time the cops arrived. So what do you do? Yes, I could've bought a gun, a safe, & gotten training (not cheap!). But being really skilled with a firearm takes a long time. In the meantime, I couldn't trust that my shaking hands would find the right target, and not (god forbid) one of my dogs, say. The very idea of that makes me feel sick, so obviously I couldn't have a gun until I was very, very confident in my abilities. In the meantime, I'd be just as unprotected as I was before. And even if I did have good aim, then what? Get a license to conceal it? Haul it around everywhere? And if he did approach me while I had a gun? Holy ****, man, don't forget that this guy used to be my boyfriend. For years, I'd call him if there was a creepy noise outside my house. I've never purposefully hurt any living creature before, and dread ever needing to. And now, I'm supposed to shoot a guy I used to love?!? That's stone cold. Yes, his actions scared me. But what he needed was psychiatric help, not a bullet wound. So I bought a canister of pepper spray, and was comfortable with that choice. End of the story, for those interested: I was "lucky," because I work with my stalker ex. Eventually I told our boss what was happening, and he threatened to fire my ex if he kept harassing me (he's foreign with a special visa; getting fired would kick him out of the country). That was enough to get the ex to leave me alone, and now I'm free to live my life again. 2
Emilia Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 End of the story, for those interested: I was "lucky," because I work with my stalker ex. Eventually I told our boss what was happening, and he threatened to fire my ex if he kept harassing me (he's foreign with a special visa; getting fired would kick him out of the country). That was enough to get the ex to leave me alone, and now I'm free to live my life again. Of course a gun isn't a great idea. You found a solution, that's what matters. I think the original post was about women who never do anything to fix the situation, not necessarily that they should shoot the guy
AMusing Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 OP talked about guns too much for my taste, as if that's a reasonable solution to the problem. Doing something is obviously important. But I have to wonder.... If the stalker hadn't been a coworker, what would I have done? This was going on for months, and I was very clear about how much it bothered me, how very certain I was that I didn't want to get together with him again, and that I was contacting the police to figure out what to do. Nothing I did stopped him. Without the threat from our boss, I'm sure this would still be going on. Regarding irc's post: I hate when people use the term "stalker" loosely. It makes those of us who were actually stalked sound dramatic and attention seeking when we bring it up, and so makes us embarrassed to talk about our experiences. 1
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Yes, actually. In martial arts and weapons training, everyone is bigger and usually faster. Also, please note that I didn't say I'd be sitting around and waiting. My mom has actually been the target of a stalker, and let's just say that size really doesn't matter as much as a lot of other things do. martial arts training is controlled........a stalking situation you are nto in a safe secure environment...in training you are in a well lit room with others around you to intercede if it gets to rough on you, gives a false sense of security i guess that you can take someone down.......i think to me and i have had both situations of being attacked and doing martial arts and defense training,when you are training you have that security that you arent going to get really hurt you arent going to have to defend you head from repeated kicks to the face or fight for your life........when you face someone in a life threatening situation those misconceptions about your own personal saftey are no longer there..if you have no fear there's soemthing wrong there........i am glad when i hear of women doing martial arts, its better than buying a gun......and i have owned a rottie twice now.....my girl bear died at a ripe old age of twelve.......she was a heavy deterrant and not too fond of men who tried to chat me up when walking....., xena i have now she is merely a big puppy , dogs dont care when they are up against someone who is genuinely out to hurt them or there owner in an uncontrolled situation, they go and keep going.....if they get training... i used to be cocky thinking i had military training sefl defense, i learned my lesson..maybe i am just a big scaredy cat..but im still here adn i have faced some seriously pissed off opponents........i would still never buy a gun...kudos to you on the training........deb
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Yeah me too. I don't understand why some women never do anything about it and just suffer. Ok there are times when she doesn't know or it escalates so quickly that she has no chance but often she just suffers. I wouldn't buy a gun but I would find a way to have a 'chat' with that guy. i agree talking is good much better than a bullet....deb
todreaminblue Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 OP talked about guns too much for my taste, as if that's a reasonable solution to the problem. Doing something is obviously important. But I have to wonder.... If the stalker hadn't been a coworker, what would I have done? This was going on for months, and I was very clear about how much it bothered me, how very certain I was that I didn't want to get together with him again, and that I was contacting the police to figure out what to do. Nothing I did stopped him. Without the threat from our boss, I'm sure this would still be going on. Regarding irc's post: I hate when people use the term "stalker" loosely. It makes those of us who were actually stalked sound dramatic and attention seeking when we bring it up, and so makes us embarrassed to talk about our experiences. or people think that you are a liar......thats probably worse when all you want to do is share information that could help a woman and you get basically called stupid....and you dotn know anything......that takes the respect away again i guess...respect for a survivor...i think they deserve respect when they share experiences where they were degraded....dehumanized.......not scoffed at as the op did to me...in saying that i shouldnt have told him to shut up .....it did make me angry though felt i had to defend myself and my opinion on here....when all i wanted to do was give a womans perspective...on firearms and the uselessness of them as a form of protection for women............deb
FitChick Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 There is a wonderful short film by Peter Weir called The Plumber. I remembered the ending and thought of doing similar when a neighbor was stalking me years ago. Watch the film and keep it in mind.
Necris Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 (edited) yeah i have had military training slr 45 with bayonnett attachment 303 shells can hit a target 80 per cent accuracy at 200 metres...i prefer a dog.....and seeing how i have been in life threatening situations i stand by my advice and urge women who read this thread to take my advice before purchasing and getting training with weapons that are not fail proof a dog is fail proof ...its also a strong deterrent.........thank you for your polite response...i appreciate that....deb dog? fail proof? LOL Dogs can be pathetic at times, when I was in high school I had a guy break into my house and my pitbull simply looked at him and walked away scared, pretty surprising as he always acted so aggressive before but now all of a sudden when its needed for him to do something he's too scared to fight (guess he was to used to people being afraid of him and when he saw a man without any fear he backed off). So it was just me, him, and a knife 3 feet away from me and about 8 feet from him. Very intense moment, fortunately the reason he was at my house in the first place was because he was running away from the police, so the police were right outside, and they arrested him. How about gun and dog? A good gun shouldn't fail on you, you just can't be scared to pull the trigger. Edited February 22, 2013 by Necris
Archgirl Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 You know what, i've been really trying not to go off at anyone for days, but this thread IS REALLY F***ING PISSING ME OFF! I 'm absolutely disgusted with the self-congratulatory blame the victim mentality. Like they are at fault for being stalked -something which basically amounts to out and out psychological warfare and for which our laws (western) are utterly ill-equipped to deal with. It's like saying "if she hadn't worn that skirt/been walking alone/BEEN FEMALE she wouldn't have been gang raped and murdered". Put the blame where it belongs. On the criminals. Not their victims. 1
AMusing Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Damn, stalking sounds like a lot of work. It would be way less work to just get a new girl. But I think I'm at the opposite extreme of a stalker (I don't care nearly enough). It had to be a crazy amount of energy & money. I know he did zero work for the months he was most seriously stalking me. Zero. Every waking moment was spent trying to engage me. Deb, I'm sorry you're having a hard time feeling heard/feeling mocked. I think stalking is such a grey area--especially an ex stalking--that people tend to assume the victim is exaggerating or making a big deal of "nothing." Or, they claim there's an easy fix ("just buy a gun"), and don't understand why everyone doesn't follow their logic. That's what pushed me to responding to the thread. Buy a gun? Really? That's going to solve a stalking problem?!?
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