Broke up before Valentines day...

[roxie74]

My bf and i broke up a few days before valentines day, We have been fighting a bit on and off beforehand and were trying to make things work. Part of it was my fault for questioning him to much on things in the past and i pushed him away from that.

 

He no longer wants to work things out and says he just doesnt feel the same anymore. We tried for a week to see and he says he should feel something more by now but doesnt. Ive done all that I can to keep making it work and we had a really great week but it just wasnt there anymore i guess from his side.

 

The next day after our break up, I tried calling and texting him to talk because the day we ended it was just crying from both sides and me walking out of his place. It was hard to handle:/

 

He wouldnt respond to any of my calls or texts and i had stuff left at his apt that i needed. I showed up at his apt and tried calling him to let him know but he didnt answer. He opened up the door and said what am i doing here...i simply said i just wanted to talk and get some of my things...he was pissed that i showed up. Am i crazy for doing that? I know it wasnt the smartest thing to do, but i did try to let him know i was coming down.

Do you think he thinks im crazy for that? thats the craziest thing ive done and in no way am i a stalker.

 

Has anyone else done that? I think i was just so upset that he wouldnt respond and i wanted to talk and get all my things i showed up.

 

I dont want this relationship to end and i am changing on the things i know i should work on. I let myself go in the relationship. I became weak and insecure and i dont know why. Maybe cuz we lived together in the past and broke up for 4 months and then got back together again.

 

Any advice on what I should do? He wont talk to me at all, its almost been 2 weeks this coming weekend. We are suppose to meet to exchange eachothers items cuz he found more things of mine and i have things of his.

 

How do i get him to care again and show i messed up?

[Seeking Happiness]

I'm sorry to hear about your break up. I know it's a hard thing to go through especially days before Valentine's Day.

 

You kinda made a mistake by just showing up at his place like that. He was ignoring you and probably felt that you were being pushy with things when he clearly wanted to be left alone.

 

What's done is done. I think the best thing for you to do is accept that this relationship is "Broken" for now. Give him all the space in the world right now. Do not contact him for any reason whether it be text messages or calls.

 

This maybe hard for you to do but the more you try to contact him and fix things the more he will back away from you and he will think you are acting desperate to get him back.

 

You pretty much should just disappear from him entirely. He will start to wonder why you're not trying to get him back. His Ego will be affected by this and he will come your way and contact you. If he doesn't try to contact you. Hold your head up high and try your best to move on and look forward.

 

You wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't want you and has the nerve to tell you he doesn't want to work on things.

 

If he does text you or call you, don't be so quick to respond, ignoring him for a bit would be ideal and make him more anxious to talk to you. If you do speak to him don't mention anything about getting back together or working things out.

 

He needs to be the one to try to make things right!. He broke up with you!. This is out of your hands unfortunately.

 

I hope this helps Be strong!

[KatZee]

There is nothing YOU can do to make HIM see anything. You shouldn't have to manipulate or force someone into being with you. He should see all those great things about you on his own, and he doesn't.

 

He doesn't love you enough to work through problems. To continue pushing and making changes for HIS sake are in no way conducive to your healing and the fact that YOU need to be moving on for YOURSELF.

 

Take these lessons that you learned with him and bring them with you into the future. He taught you valuable lessons for who you are, what you turned into and what you shouldn't do in the next relationship you're in. o

 

Don't just show up at his place anymore, it's obviously not welcome behavior for him, he wants to be left alone. Don't press him to talk, don't ask him for closure, don't beg or plead for more chances. Just go away.

 

It'll get easier as time goes on.

[Njeanne]

You can't force someone to love you.

You can't force someone to give it another chance when they don't feel it.

 

All you can do is accept the break-up, learn from your mistakes and change them by remaining "No Contact" with him. Leave him alone, give him time and space. His feelings are supressed by all the negativity and you going up to his place just forces those negative feelings to become stronger.

 

I know it is hard, but begging and pleaing will never work, and like I say you can't force someone to do anything.

 

You don't want this relationship to end, but it has ended, I am sorry to say.

There is no more relationship, the old one died. Give your ex all the space/time he needs (2months and more) and he has to find his way back to you on his own, no amount of "you" will bring him back ever.

 

Remove all contacts with him, facebook, phone and the likes and drop off face of the earth for him. But remember, No Contact isn't to get him back, it's for you to heal, evaluate the old relationship and the reason it broke up and use that knowledge for future relationships (wether with him, if he comes back or with someone else)