rustee john Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 Hey everyone, I found this forum while searching for tips on how to win my girl back. I need as many voices as possible to tell me what to do because i have no idea what to do myself... Any replies would be greatly appreciated although im sure many of you have been through this before and you know I;m looking for the answers that will make me feel better about the situation. I met the most beautiful person in the world and we fell in love. The most amazing thing about it is there was a 4.5 year age difference between us and she was literally a proposal away from marriage. things went bad for her and her fiancee and she was depressed and I gave her my shoulder to cry on. I fell in love realising that i never had a chance but I was wrong. Im now 3 chances later and I feel as if my life has ended, my soul has left me and I have no zest or enthusiasm left. In the previous 2 breakups i blamed her but this time I blame myself. I was not the guy she fell in love with, i took her for granted and put my friends first. When I realised this i sent her a 3 page email apologising and saying how i would do anything to regain her trust and respect. She seems to have moved on though. Even though she isnt dating other guys she is acting like we have no future together. Its happened all the previous times also but this time because i blame myself i feel like i cannot ever have her beautiful body in my arms again. The problem is she changes her tune every 5 minutes, i poured my heart out to her the other night and she said that she doesnt know how she will feel later on but now she doesnt see us as being good together but she will always be there for me and she will never stop loving me. 5 minutes later she was telling me that she doesnt love me anymore and she has made up her mind, we cannot see each other and i must move on. I am really confused and I dont know what to do, I just hate life without her, its not worth it and I would do anything to get her back. She told me to have faith in my destiny and i do believe we are meant together but I know that she needs to realise what she is missing without me. I dont know whether to ignore her or remain part of her life. Is it possible to be the guy she fell in love with again even tho she has built up walls and has reservations and expectations of me screwing up again? Help please RJ
shamen Posted September 18, 2004 Posted September 18, 2004 Any updates to report? Of course she is confused, as are you. After you didn't treat her as she felt that she needed to be treated, she's walking on eggshells around you. What has happened since your post?
Author rustee john Posted September 28, 2004 Author Posted September 28, 2004 Well, things have gotten much better im glad to let you know. I sorta stopped begging her to give me chances and all, i still let her know how i feel and ive realised lots of things. The guy she fell for was a strong person who could be there for her and I wasnt being him. I've reverted and she knows i am there for her and in being more dominant she seems to be giving in to me more. She still seems to be cautious though. I have told her that I am not going to make a single move because i know that i can but i want her to make the move. Thing is she has made one or two steps forward but the second i try to make a step she backs away. I know that we are heading in a positive direction but I do fear that the same thing is going to happen over again. I know i love her very much and I miss her tons but I am enjoying the feeling of being in love again because it seems so much fresher this time than any of the other times before except when i knew i couldnt have her. I'm being brutally honest with her but I am also giving her a lot of space and comfort. Her wounds are healing(As are mine) and she is beginning to trust me again. I hope we can make it work and I know its gonna take time to get us back to a deep level but i think it is inevitable. The anticipation is killing me though. Thanks for listening...
shamen Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Hey, I'm glad that things seem to be getting better. Just be patient and let each other heal from your past mistakes. It sounds like you are doing that! I'm excited for you and that the love you feel is growing. But also, know that life absolutely is worth living without a SO (from your first post). It's horribly painful when it ends, but it does get better.
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