OCCDAVE Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Well here goes I was out last valentines day with a group of friends and spotted this hottie.I figured doesn't hurt to try so I went up to her and we started to chat.Seemed the convo was going good but I didn't wanna wore out my welcome so I asked if we could exchange numbers and she agreed .My friends on the ride home were busting my chops telling me she prolly sent you off .Following afternoon I get a text from her which kinda surprised me.Well make along story short we have have maintained contact pretty much every day since then and have our first date Friday .We seem to share /looking for alot of the same stuff then again till you meet women can still do the dreaded 180.Guess my question I know there are no rules but depending on if this works or not is it not a good idea to maintain alot of contact prior to a date.Im just worried come Friday I won't have much to talk about lol.Plus kinda feels good to have a girl making more effort then me.Well will see
KoKo0 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I know people say communication is key, but people take it to the next level, talking to one another 24/7 and when it is time to see the person, you go blank and have nothing to say, I think this is a relationship KILLER. In my opinion and the way my relationships work, is keeping a little bit of contact, such a small talk. "hey how are you doing","cant wait to see you" etc, stuff like that. I never talk on the phone at night, I'll never talk to anyone more than 5 mins on the phone unless its important, I mean ... if you want to talk to me, come and see me. I hate todays society -_- ... Well good luck on your date, hope things go naturally for you and remember what I said. 1
sid3 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Good for you Dave. This sounds more promising than your OLD dates of late. There are always somethings to talk about. Without getting too opinionated, discussing some current events is a great way to keep the conversation flowing while providing a good deal of insight into her beliefs, values and whether or not you're compatible. I gotta ask, where are you taking her?
SarcasticAbby Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 As a female who is dating, I like to have contact with a guy who is interested in me as it shows his interest. When you meet face to face for the first date I find there is either a spark (for lack of a better word) or there's not. Now if you're just contacting once a day asking how her day is and there's nothing to really chat about and your struggling to maintain a conversation... That may say alot for what's to come.
ja123 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I think you should maintain your current frequency of communication. If you back off, then she may think you're not interested. Kudos on the cold approach. Good luck! 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Good for you Dave. This sounds more promising than your OLD dates of late. There are always somethings to talk about. Without getting too opinionated, discussing some current events is a great way to keep the conversation flowing while providing a good deal of insight into her beliefs, values and whether or not you're compatible. I gotta ask, where are you taking her?We found a nice little seafood place (which isn't to expensive lol) Btw funny story I'm at the gas station today and made eye contact with some girl Her-I'm really digging that hat your wearing Me-oh really Me-well does it Warrent maybe getting your number Her-hehe ya sounds good to me Anyway we exchanged numbers may call I dunno just wanna keep practicing talking/going up to girls .Practice makes perfect I guess
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Well today's the big day yippie anyway ill update everyone tonight thanks
SJC2008 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Well today's the big day yippie anyway ill update everyone tonight thanks Please do and good luck! Whatever you do don't talk about being jaded from dating! If she asks just say you've been on some dates here and there. I'm sure you know that, just a friendly reminder. Keep the convo light and fun. Don't put all the pressure on you, it's a two way street and she needs to contribute to the convo too. 1
2sure Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I hope you have a great time. I think you're fine. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Thanks everyone and yes unlike the last dàte I'm just gonna go with the flow .Not gonna she seems more excited then I maybe cause prior to today my last off day was about 12 days ago lol .Anyway lets see what happens
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Another thing I'm always the one doing the chasing so for this girl to show alot of interest kinda has me iffy .I mean for most part I never had a girl cone at me like this or maybe this is how it's suppose to be .Anyway lets see
sid3 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Another thing I'm always the one doing the chasing so for this girl to show alot of interest kinda has me iffy .I mean for most part I never had a girl cone at me like this or maybe this is how it's suppose to be .Anyway lets see Have a good time and just see how it goes.
salparadise Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 They probably haven't gotten out of bed yet 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Ugh I think I may have just screwed up something or maybe not.Date was going better then I expected with lots of flirting and laughing .She then says lets go back to her place few drinks (dumb idea I know) We continue talking and she was telling me how we click alot and so on.Well then we started making out and by time you know it we just had sex sigh.We greeted other and I was on my way home confused.She then text me make sure I made it home and said our goodbyes.We talk following day and I explained how I felt iffy about night before her tone changed she was dont I like you and I could see something here.I agreed (but felt confused ) I dunno how a rs can start now is it possible ?Fact shes still talking made me think ok it's not your normal ons maybe a fwb ? Smh I get myself in such messes this is a real tough one
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 this is a classic example of "think of the outcome before opening mouth", (granted i dont do sex so.....) When i speak, i generally always know what the outcome will be, and make sure what ever i say will result in the most loosing result, anything above that is good (sometimes, wth me i want the result to be what i expect it to be, ive trained myself to know what to say to make the result what i want). So when you said "it felt iffy" you should have always been aware this would be "hi, didnt like the sex so never want to see you again", if you wasnt thinking wanting that outcome you should never have said ANYTHING negative about the sex the night before
SJC2008 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I see where you're coming from... I'd be confused too as to what she's looking for. Seems pretty aggressive, most people don't say they could see something after a first date.
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Wasnt the fact I didn't enjoy it which she also thought I was texting to say hey the sex sucks goodbye.I cleared up that I enjoyed it but wasnt sure what happens now.Her tone did seem worry (like someone who felt they got used for sex)She then said I think we have a chance at something good I thought that how you felt?.I said ya I do feel the same and we made plans to hopefully hang next week . 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 I notice we still maintain good contact maybe I'm making a big deal over nothing .Should I go with the flow or ask her what next
candie13 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) if you feel iffy, then you shouldn't ignore that. What do you feel iffy about? you feel there's a lot of pressure on you to "behave like her bf" now? if you don't like that, you can always not see her anymore. The reality is you were both there. A girl would not invite her date over unless she expects a serious make out session, to there are high chances she was/is pretty attracted to you. If it's too intense for you... yeah, too bad for her, next time she'll listen to slow down. You can "just go with the flow", but yeah, it's hard to handle sex so easy, because there may be some sort of unexpressed expectations. Two immediate things go through my head: 1. guys may think that the girl uses sex to "get herself a bf" immediately; 2. guys had sex, so they just loose interest in the girl. After sex (irrespective if immediately or after a while), I find that guys get a bit scared and just leave. I think if you are considerate, but clear as to how you want to proceed - seeing her once in a while, to get to know her better, as opposed to steamy nights / dates, that can also work. From my side, I believe that girls just want... a sort of nice reassurance, some kindness from the guy, that they were more than just a booty call. No one expects FWB immediately. No one expects sex immediately. It's all about what makes YOU comfortable. What's important to YOU. What turns YOU off. You are in charge, you can make of this whatever you want to. cheers Edited February 24, 2013 by candie13
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Here's an update to a convo we had she texted me then it moved onto the ph Her-so what are you looking for Me-get to know you and possibly something long term u Her-I just want to know are you sure cause tbh sometimes you confuse me Her -like the other night when I let you into my house that's something I don't do so not only do I have feelings but I trying to gain some trust Her-then you tell me you felt iffy .. That hurt and made me felt used Me-that wasnt my intention at all I'm sorry Her-so here's the truth I like you/care about you and I'd like to see where it goes and if we're on the same page Me-def I feel the same Me-so when can I see you again Her-Friday or Saturday ill let you know babe Me-sounds good So guess ill go with the flow don't get me wrong i do care about her just never had sex on a first date lol
candie13 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Lol, cannot help you here either ! From a beginner, looking from the outside, I'd say it looks good. Take it easy from this point forward, I highly recommend it.
kimberlydoll Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Ehhhh if I were her Id put my walls up. Your conversation makes it seem like youre not that into her after she spilled her guts to you...
Author OCCDAVE Posted February 25, 2013 Author Posted February 25, 2013 (edited) Well we just had a pretty lengthy convo and we both share the same things and looking for same stuff .we decided to give it a shot now there is no way ill be throwing around the L word and if I hear it then ill be leaving .So ya both agree it needs this thing so yippie ha Btw it's not that I'm not interested I am just got nervous about the sex on the first date thing . Edited February 25, 2013 by OCCDAVE Spelling
SJC2008 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 Is anyone else concerned about how they've had one date and she said she thinks there's something there, that she cares about him and called him babe?
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