blue_jay_bird Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 How many here can't tell if they want their ex because they cant have them. Or want them... How many can't even tell?
denxnis Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Hi, that's me. Plus it kind of sucks being alone for the time being...
Lani Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I think everyone can relate to this at one time or another. It's a confusing time, but I'm willing to bet it's just because you want what you can't have. You also get thinking about all the good times and the bad ones seem less significant. 1
aussie sam Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I was always like that with my ex. We were casual for a while and then started dating for a few weeks before I decided that I didn't see a future for us. Afterwards she kept trying to get me back and seducing me with sex (I slipped many times). I got off on having a girl that was so in to me but felt guilty every time at letting her be so vulnerable when I didn't really want a relationship with her. Basically I didn't want her, but I didn't want anyone else to have her either which I think made her want me more. I finally convinced her that it wasn't healthy for either of us to keep going into this cycle and she agreed and decided to go No Contact on me. After a while when I realised how much I missed her and that she was moving on with her life. The tables turned and my heart was broken. We started meeting up as friends again and eventually ended up in bed again (much to her confusion). After that I realised that love isn't just a feeling you have forever. It's something you need to work on and grow mutually. We decided to give it another shot and I put everything I had into it second time around. It was amazing for a while but then we had to do long distance while we were studying. I kept putting so much in but felt like she wasn't as emotionally invested in it. I thought many times about breaking up but I really wanted to make this work. after 6 months of long distance she broke up with me shortly after moving to a new school (about a month ago). She didn't give me much of an explanation and it hurt so much. My natural instinct is that I want her back so badly but I think it's mostly because I can't have her. I know this deep down and am trying to work hard on moving on. This has been the cat and mouse game throughout our relationship. I'm convinced now that the best way to make a good relationship is if you are BOTH committed to making it work and are BOTH working hard to keep the spark going, not just enjoying it while it's there. I hope this helps.
unluckyperson Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 me, i really want my ex back. i want her so bad but i just cant get her back anymore
Woggle Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Isn't that really what most unrequited love is about when you boil it down? It's just want what you can't have syndrome. I have seen people chase somebody for years and they finally get them they lose interest pretty fast.
mishy Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Basically I didn't want her, but I didn't want anyone else to have her either which I think made her want me more. I finally convinced her that it wasn't healthy for either of us to keep going into this cycle and she agreed and decided to go No Contact on me. After a while when I realised how much I missed her and that she was moving on with her life. The tables turned and my heart was broken.. Your story is really interesting Sam, and a fellow Aussie! After she went no contact how long a time passed before you realised you really missed her and the tables had turned like you say? Do you remember how long it was
aussie sam Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 After she went no contact how long a time passed before you realised you really missed her and the tables had turned like you say? Do you remember how long it was Hey Mishi, I don't quite remember but I think it was about a couple of months. She sent me a late night email one night which started the dialogue again (just basic how are you) we decided to meet up and hang out and then after a while we couldn't resist each other. I think each case is different because of circumstances. For example I don't think that she will break no contact again any time soon now that we are in different countries, and because I initiated it. I hope this is of some help, what's your situation?
jagdude14 Posted February 25, 2013 Posted February 25, 2013 No I miss her. I knew what I had prior to losing her and treated her the best. I know I kiss her
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