Caldespair Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Basic backgound: 20 plus years married, 27 years together 2 teenage daughters - 1 away at college and the other lives with her mom, my sbxw. 10 weeks ago I stood up to her, sternly insisted she apologize to aggrieved family member. She apologized, but then wanted me to leave our house. I am trying to find a balance with my 16 year old daughter that is living with her mom. I have an apartment about 15 minutes away. I am very close with my 2 daughters, always being the coach of their teams, helping with homework, hangin out. I want to be a good dad. Now living 15 minutes away, I dont want to lose that closeness we had. So far we see each other 2 days or night a week. No overnights yet. I want to see her more, make more plans with her, but I dont want to overdue and make it too much for her. We have great times together, Im told shes had great times with me from her cousins. Im conscious of her busy schedule and boyfriend. What is best way to handle this situation? Do I lay back, and have her call me when she wants to hang? I dont want to make it an obligation for her to hang with her dad. And so far, I dont think its an obligation for her. Its tricky as I want to see her more, but dont want to overdue it. I talk almost every night to her sister who is 4 hours away, and have visited her a couple of times already. Any guidance appreciated.
Radu Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 'Hanging out' sounds a little weird for father-daughter relationship. Maybe it's my location, or my society that is different though. There's a site called Daughters.com , about dads and their relationship with their daughters. How is she overall handling the separation ? From the sound of things, your wife used that incident as an excuse to separate, care to say more about it ?
Damia Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Talk to your daughter,ask her what,where,when she would like catch up with you Offer her some suggestions that work for you ,see what works for her. Don't give up ,ever! My xH has put his romance/new life first ,our 14 yr son /17 yr daughter see their dad every every 3 or 4 mths when he has time. It breaks my heart Listen to your heart you and your daughters need that connection ,keep going until you find something that works for you all.
Ladybugz Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 let her know that she can always come to you and that you dont want your relationship with her to change and you still want to stay the dad you where for her when you liveth in the sae house. and maybe you can cook and invite them every end of the week or end or start of the month so you can have time together at least that one day( tradition). or if you are going to do something, ask her to come with you. like maybe if you are going to buy a car, home stuff etc. invite them, and let them know you still there for them
Author Caldespair Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 Thanks Lady and Damia. I have done numerous outings with her. She went with me to pick out furniture at the Ikea store, we went to Tesla showroom to check out the new electric cars, movies,beach, dinner, bowling, and when baseball season begins I have season tickets to the major league baseball that we will go to. This week is tougher as she is with my sbxw and they were gone for 3 nights skiing with my daughters friend. (its not fair, she decides she cant work due to stress, and thus has time for skiing. Where as I am working this week to make money to pay for Both our lawyers...errggghhh!) Radu - you are implying what? That am tooo close to my daughters? You have a warped mind. And I dont follow what incident you are referring to. The hangin out? Maybe the term hangin out ie chilling like villian, watching tv, doing activities. But Radu, thanks for the web site - I will check it out.
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