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Is it really the end of the world to visit an Ex's Facebook?

SinceYou'veBeenGone

By SinceYou'veBeenGone
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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We remain friends, even on fb, but we don't talk.

We split a few weeks ago.

It's been a few weeks since I've seen his page, and I don't get his updates in my feed anymore.

 

I am so tempted to go on his face book page. I think I can handle it. Before I felt I couldn't because nothing good can possibly come of it. Anything he's been up to would just make me sad. But now I feel like it's okay to see it. What do you guys think? Any of you visit your ex's facebook, twitter, social networking site, etc? Do you wait a certain amount of time?

KoKo0 Established Member

KoKo0

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I think it is pathetic that you are working yourself up over this, you need to delete him off of all social networks, it ended for a reason and there is no reason for you to be checking up on him, it will just make things worse for you. Time will heal, and then you can have him on facebook without even worrying about it.

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purplereigncb Established Member

purplereigncb

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The fact that you are asking, shows your not ready. If you were you'd have already done so casually.

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bluefairy812 Established Member

bluefairy812

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please don't do it. ignorance is bliss. you will wish you wouldn't have looked at it. there is always something there that will hurt you.

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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Thanks for viewing it as pathetic and bringing it to my attention as if I didn't know.

 

Not "worked up" over it, but thanks for the diagnosis doc.

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BUBS Established Member

BUBS

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I avoided my exes social networking sites for months and snapped a few weeks ago thinking I was indifferent, I was wrong. Don't do it, I unfriended him and even seeing what little I could see was upsetting. You'll do what you want to but I can assure you, NO good can come of it, literally. Either it wont phase you, or itll kill you... but its not going to make you better. It's important that you protect yourself from any more pain than you are already processing at this point in time. Wait a few months and see if you still wanna know his business.

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bluefairy812 Established Member

bluefairy812

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i havent looked at my exes social media profiles in almost 3 months and i'm glad! the last thing i saw was something I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT TO SEE! thats when i said NO MORE and i haven't looked back. i refuse to feel pain.

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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i havent looked at my exes social media profiles in almost 3 months and i'm glad! the last thing i saw was something I ABSOLUTELY DID NOT WANT TO SEE! thats when i said NO MORE and i haven't looked back. i refuse to feel pain.

 

What type of thing was it

KoKo0 Established Member

KoKo0

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Thanks for viewing it as pathetic and bringing it to my attention as if I didn't know.

 

Not "worked up" over it, but thanks for the diagnosis doc.

 

You're looking for honest answers, I am being honest.

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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You're right I don't think I can handle it. A new profile picture of him showed up on my friends list and I realize it might be too much right now...

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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You're looking for honest answers, I am being honest.

 

Not honest answers on how I sound, honest answers to the question.

bluefairy812 Established Member

bluefairy812

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What type of thing was it

 

he wrote "miss you" to a girl who has always liked him and now i have realized (looking back) that they always had this flirty thing going on. i think they are dating now.

 

before we stopped talking, he told me a little about the new girl he is seeing and her description matches this girl we both know.

 

so, i wish i wouldn't have ever found out in the state i was in. knowing this girl was ALWAYS after him and now the 99.9% possibility of them being together absolutely sucks.

 

don't do it!

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KoKo0 Established Member

KoKo0

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Not honest answers on how I sound' date=' honest answers to the question.[/quote']

 

Yes honest answers to your question and your situation. Don't take it personal, nothing I said was rude. I just don't think you should be working yourself up over this, and you clearly are since you are asking US on here to give you some insight. You just need to delete him, so there won't be any temptation.

BarbecueMan666 Established Member

BarbecueMan666

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I'll quite happily give an answer to this.

 

You can do what ever you please - there is no right or wrong - putting a "rule" against viewing his page, then doing it will make you feel worse.

If you look at it, you go in and you accept the consequences of what you see. If it makes you sad - don't beat yourself up about breaking the "rule" as there really is no rule. If it doesn't make you sad and you think "oh, I don't feel any different' - the cool beans.

Just know that what ever you choose to do, you don't do it for the wrong reasons. My ex and I broke up new years day - she's a mini internet celebrity and on her page I saw new youtube video releases, her entering video competitions - Will Ferrell watching her video, Russell Crowe Retweeting her video, her going to modelling shoots etc. It didn't help me out at all, and I strongly don't recommend it. People don't usually post bad stuff about themselves Unless they're just one of those miserable nothing goes right kind of folk.

 

My vote is - do what you want, but you and you alone suffer the consequences :).

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Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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I kept my ex on Facebook, but shut off her news feed and went four months without going on to her page. I finally just did it and it wasn't a big deal, as there was nothing there worth getting upset about. Of course, my ex doesn't update her Facebook much at all and has gone about a month without a status update, a picture, a wall message from any friends, etc. Which is kind of weird, but whatever. Since going back I don't exactly creep on her page, I might check it every 3-4 days, if that. At this point, I just readded her to my news feed because I just don't really care anymore and it's easier than clicking on her page.

 

But if you have to ask, you probably shouldn't do it. I didn't do it until I felt like I could handle whatever I saw. But if you can't control yourself, block/delete is the way to go. I almost did several times but decided not to because it would have caused me more hassle to do it than to just shut off the news feed and ignore.

Clockwork Established Member

Clockwork

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It has been so long since my last ex and now that I am happily married nothing on her Facebook page (we definitely aren't Facebook friends) would hurt me. In fact, over the years I look back and have no attraction to her anymore and as time has gone on I don't know why we stayed together. So yeah, I've looked at her pictures before, and you know what, a part of me is glad she has never settled down with a guy and I know now it wasn't just me. 31 years old and still not married despite her obsession with getting hitched. It is almost as if it was therapy at one time to say "Yeah, that's my past and I am glad it is."

 

So I don't want to encourage you, but you never know, looking at your ex's Facebook page just might help you get over him more. There might be a picture on there that simply makes you disgusted with him and glad he's gone. There could be a status update you see that makes you realize what kind of person he really is. Honestly, it can almost be therapy for yourself.

Amelie1980 Established Member

Amelie1980

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Too much time is not enough.

 

A.cautionary tale for anyone....I split up with a.guy after college. It was before Facebook existed. He was mean with money, wouldn't even share a candy bar with me as he'd spent money on it for himself, wouldn't buy me a drink unless I bought him one back, he was abusive, controlling, alienated my friends with his behaviour, hit me and in the end cheated on me. He treated me worthless never spoke of commitment to me been though we had been together three years.

 

After my last BU I was feeling nostalgic and looked him up on Facebook. What a mistake...photograph of him and his beaming wife and h child.... he must have changed his.attitude.

 

I didn't need to see that and wish I hadn't looked.

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Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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I have also been cheated on and treated like dirt and harassed. I snooped once and the ex was happy with someone else. I wanted to barf.

Sugarkane Established Member

Sugarkane

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Why can't everything to turn to shyte for these exes?

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Amelie1980 Established Member

Amelie1980

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Why can't everything to turn to shyte for these exes?

 

The divorce rate in the UK is nearly 50%. They might not be happy.

 

Photos on face book mean nothing.

uglie_mq Member

uglie_mq

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i unfollowed him but still cannot resisit the tempt to check up on him...so i deactived my fb... and it really works

Hope737 Member

Hope737

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I guess I'm going to mirror what a lot of people have said above. Definitely do NOT do it. I used to do it after I broke up with an ex girlfriend and to see that she was dating other guys in no time and moving on without a care in the world CRUSHED me. Everyone will handle it differently but I'd say it's best to stay away. Social network sites can cause so much hurt.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

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We remain friends, even on fb, but we don't talk.

We split a few weeks ago.

It's been a few weeks since I've seen his page, and I don't get his updates in my feed anymore.

 

I am so tempted to go on his face book page. I think I can handle it. Before I felt I couldn't because nothing good can possibly come of it. Anything he's been up to would just make me sad. But now I feel like it's okay to see it. What do you guys think? Any of you visit your ex's facebook, twitter, social networking site, etc? Do you wait a certain amount of time?

 

tell me what exactly do you think you're going to see on his page that will be positive for you?

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SinceYou'veBeenGone Member

SinceYou'veBeenGone

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tell me what exactly do you think you're going to see on his page that will be positive for you?

 

Kill my curiosity. I am curious to know something since we've have zero contact. And no matter what I see, even if he his smiling, at a party, or having the time of his life with girls, friends, etc. I won't care. I accept that his life might be super fun and happier than ever. I would go in expecting the worst.

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

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Kill my curiosity. I am curious to know something since we've have zero contact. And no matter what I see' date=' even if he his smiling, at a party, or having the time of his life with girls, friends, etc. I won't care. I accept that his life might be super fun and happier than ever. I would go in expecting the worst.[/quote']

 

well, that's exactly what you're going to see.

 

every single thing you see on his page is going to be the best possible scenario for how his life is going, and how great he is doing without you around.

 

so again, what do you plan to gain from looking?

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