jovan Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Just to see how are you all doing, case its around a mouth of complete NC here and I still have a lot of bad day's. I feel like calling her almost every single day. But am not letting my self, and never will I 1
iouaname Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I fluctuate. Sometimes I feel an intense amount of anxiety, like I will never hear from him again and like I'm never going to be okay. Other times, I feel empowered by my decision and hopeful that things will feel better soon. 3
bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Day 134. I'm better but he still contacts me and it has made me feel bad...even though I shouldn't. He has a girlfriend.
purplereigncb Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Day 17. I feel better, but have my off moments. 1
Addison312 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 3.5 weeks. I still feel like I'm waiting around for something that only time can bring. I'm not really expecting any contact, nor am I going to break this streak. I am actually afraid to move on and date again because A) I don't feel like anyone will compare? Yet deep down I realize that isn't true because I could count on two hands the number of times I actually felt that he truly cared about me. And B) I still feel so beat down and unable to trust. The good news is I haven't had tears for 2 weeks. I just wish my mind wasn't so plagued by Does he miss me? Does he regret it? Does he ever plan on speaking to me again? Is he getting help for his stress/emotional problems? I wish there was a switch in the brain that I could turn off, even for an hour a day. When I'm at work I feel so much better. 2
Echo000 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 day 29.. feel whatever about it. kinda depressed..but cant say i actually miss her. i know i deserved better. 1
cavalier99 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) 4.5 month BU and NC. Feel good right now, just got back from gym and then steam room....but felt stressed earlier today. I don't have the huge emotional swings i had before but seem to be suffering from a slight depression. At this point you know deep down they are gone forever and reality has truly set in. No urges to break NC at all. It would be pointless. The focus seems to be more on me and getting on with my life without her. 8 years was a long time so it is a big adjustment being single. Cav Edited February 21, 2013 by cavalier99 4
Addison312 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 At this point you know deep down they are gone forever and reality has truly set in. I'm dreading that point. Do you think starting to date again would help you finally move on?
mishy Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Day 1 of NC, it's not even 24 hours yet I am feeling tired, and a little shocked that he just took off like that. But he did get a lot of attention from me, so he will soon notice his phone is a lot quieter because I am gone and then he'll realise what an complete loser he is 1
purplereigncb Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 How old are you cav? my relationship was the same length.
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Day 15. I miss him. I have not gone on his face book page for a couple weeks now (and he's not in my news feed) but I am so tempted to visiting his page to see what he's been up to or a recent picture because I miss him so much. We are on "friend" terms. I would love to text him but I resist the urge. My feelings for him have not faded one bit and I have no desire at all to date anyone else. I've attempted to talk with other guys and browse online but I just don't want anyone else. Every morning I just wish I was waking up to his face so I could kiss it. Would it be so bad to just go on his facebook? I've been good for like 2 or more weeks now.
Addison312 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 ^ Horrible idea. No Facebook! If you're that tempted, deactivate your account for a few weeks/months. 1
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 ^ Horrible idea. No Facebook! If you're that tempted, deactivate your account for a few weeks/months. I can control the urge, I am just thinking about it. Is it really that bad of an idea? I am like 90% sure he is not involved with someone else. That is something I would not be able to handle. I would just drop.
purplereigncb Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I looked at exs facebook, brought nothing but pain. don't do it even a new haircut will bring pain 2
cavalier99 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) How old are you cav? my relationship was the same length. Ha. Old enough to have been thru a few rodeos and vividly remember parts of the 80's. I'm definitely at the settle down stage with the next one since the last one didn't pan out for multiple reasons including cheating by her. As far as dating I'm in no rush but have been going out a bunch. Although pace has slowed up quite a bit since the mad rush to get out, hookup etcetera, in month 2-3. Dating still seems a little overwhelming at this point. Just feel like i want to get comfortable with me again on my own with minimal pressure. Edited February 21, 2013 by cavalier99 2
BUBS Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I'm at about 5 weeks strict NC, 2 months since any substantial contact was made. I was doing pretty good up until this past week, may have been valentines, or my birthday, getting sick, who knows. Right now I miss him, more so then him I think I just miss the feeling I had/ comfort of when I was with him, it was the last time I felt like I had direction, a purpose, a reason to wake up in the morning, which keeps me holding on longer than I should. Also like others mentioned, the fear that I wont find someone who compares or can satisfy the way he did. Keepin on keepin on though, don't intend on breaking no contact until it is absolutely necessary (when I'm indifferent, healed and can get my own place I plan on getting my dog back, which is why there will have to be contact at some point)
bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 hang in there guys. it gets harder before it gets better. be strong, it's times like these you need to breathe, keep your head up, and keep walking. do not look back. it's a long process but i guarantee that NC works wonders. not knowing about your ex as you gradually move on with your life is not easy, but it will lead you to better things. 3
purpledust Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 21 days of NC. 8 weeks of BU. ex responded after 4 days telling me he still misses me. i didn't respond. been 18 days now after his last email. still having down times crying whenever i miss him, replaying the BU and our last conversation on my mind over and over again. still asking myself the never ending 'why's'. but feeling much better now. no heavy weight on my chest whenever i think of him. i know in due time i will forget him. 1
ScienceGal Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 11 days. I feel numb today. When I am sad though, it's not about him, it's about my life and wondering how I am going to move forward and find a meaningful relationship... Wondering what I need to do to not repeat past mistakes. 3
cavalier99 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Hey Science Gal! Sorry about the rough time you having. The sh*t really hit the fan all at once for you. Anyway glad that your NC. Things are already tough enough without contact. Cav 1
iouaname Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 It seems to be that certain periods of the day, I'm missing him a lot. Last night I had a dream about him that caused a lot of anxiety, and I woke up this morning feeling this overwhelming urge to contact him. I have not and am instead trying to focus on studying for a test that I have later today, but getting through today without contacting him is a huge goal, because I want to so badly.
soverynewtothis Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Day 8. I still can't handle my emotions and have spontaneous crying sessions. That's really fun at work. I don't have the urge to break NC because I know it's over and there is nothing that he or I could say to make it better. But I miss something, not sure if it's him or being in a relationship. I have started noticing guys again, which leads to me wondering if they are single, if they would ever date me, if anyone would every date me, if I am going to be single for the rest of my life, etc... Definitely have some more issues to work on before dating again.
crashvector Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Its 6 days shy of 2 months of NC for me. I still think about her at least every day....the creeping thoughts of what she's up to, how did we get to this, what could I do to try and "fix" things, etc. It happens less and less now, but when it DOES, I feel absolutely lost. I was with her for more than 5 years and we have a LOT of history between us, so I'm sure it will take more than a year for me to be completely over her or not occasionally wonder what she's up to, etc. I'm pretty sure at this point she is dating in order to try and get over me (we broke up once during the 5 years, and this is what she did then....waited about 2 months then started dating because she said she needed SOME way to try and get over me). I cant say anything, because, well, we aren't together...and I'm dating around as well....in an attempt to get over HER.
Nasher Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) I think it's about six going on seven weeks for me, I've kind of lost track for better or for worse. I've fluctuated a lot between wanting to contact her, not caring or not wanting too. Deep down I have always really wanted to just know how she is doing, what she is up too but I am scared how much it will hurt. For all I know she has moved on already. She has a new life that's nothing to do with me and that in itself breaks my heart. Maybe more so because I am left here existing, even though I've never been so busy, there is always an underlying emptiness too it. I'm not sure if it's because of her absence or the fact that I'm not OK with myself. Regardless of the bad times I can't help thinking of the simple things we shared and I guess that is a lesson for the future, to appreciate them as much as you can while you have them available. Though it wouldn't have made a difference right now I think, I'd just be pining further. So yes, NC was the best thing to do under the circumstances - I'd be a mess right now no doubt. I've done all the keeping yourself busy stuff and it does distract you, I've cried, I've hurt and I've felt lonely. But it's the emptiness that's been the worse and nags at me deep down in my intestines. I'm trying to be optimistic about the future because at the end of the day, what else do you have left? I'm not ready to give up over somebody else. Edited February 21, 2013 by Nasher
Joby72 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 starting again today and i already want to message him aaarrggghhhhh why im the one in control of the situ now coz its me doing it
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