bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Anyone ever feel bad when you know your ex tries to contact you and you deliberately continue to ignore them?
H3Drvr Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Assuming youre the dumpee... You think they felt bad for dumping you? 2
iouaname Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I do. I feel bad for cutting my ex off without any hint that I was going to and for not responding to his messages. At the same time, he broke up with me so it is what it is... 2
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 My ex is giving me a guilt trip asking me via email what did he ever do to deserve me blocking his number. I did it for NC. I have told him many many times we can't be friends... Shouldn't that be enough? We haven spoken in 4 months.
Addison312 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 You don't owe him an explanation. You don't owe him anything. This is something you are doing for yourself so don't respond and set yourself back. 1
destroyed4sho Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Anyone ever feel bad when you know your ex tries to contact you and you deliberately continue to ignore them? Say WHAT??? HELL NO! 2
fetish1980 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Unfortunately, I have gone through what the OP has. Shortly after my ex and I broke up, it was really hard for me to not reach out to her. She did the guilt trip thing and said that I never tried to contact her and she was the one always trying to reach out. Mind you she was the one who left. She had also violated some trust. She suggested us getting back together and it was the hardest thing for me to turn her down after having been with her for almost a decade. It wasn't that i didn't love my ex. I always loved her and even continue to love the memory of her to this day (2 years later). But i had to get to the point that I had to love ME more. That's what it should be about. Just take time to reflect on your relationship and see how much the relationship was really about you. If you always found yourself putting yourself aside and he didn't reciprocate, you have your answer. You have to do what's best for you. fetish 3
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 Thanks so much everyone. He didnt do me wrong in the sense of cheating, but in the end of the relaionship he did neglect me. And by me ending the relationship in the heat of the moment and attempting to reconcile a week later, all I received was a no and how it wasn't meant to be.. So he used me leaving him as a way to get out bc he wasn't going to do it anytime soon. So ultimately, he was the dumper. Even after the breakup we had many moments where he treated me like dirt and made me cry. I'm human and sometimes I am too kind. I always did put him first before me because I loved him more than myself. Thank you for reminding me I need to continue loving myself and doing what's right for me. I guess I'm just starting to feel like a b*tch after i felt empowered.
Mayfare Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Bluefairy, you and I are similar. I broke up with him out of frustration in an argument. Two days later, I asked if we could just maybe take some space or a break or whatever and fix things. I didn't want to throw away a seemingly flawless two year relationship over an argument we could have easily fixed. Turns out, he used me ending it as a way to get out. He's tried being friends (he even bought me chocolates for Valentine's Day a month after we broke up) but I'm not interested. He really is a great guy, he's just terrible at communicating, and I do feel guilty for telling him we can't be friends and ignoring him. He also never did me any real wrong, he just never failed to put himself first. I constantly wonder if he's regretting his decision or if he was waiting for a breakup for months and I just didn't see the signs. The truth is, I have no clue and I'm not sure I ever will. Honestly though, I'm not sure I would even take him back at this point. I love him to pieces, but I would constantly be wondering if he would leave again or if he really loved me. I love myself way too much to get back into a relationship with him unless he makes some MAJOR changes. I deserve better, and so do you. 1
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 (edited) wow mayfare. your post almost made me cry. we are similar. i posted yesterday how idk if i could take him back bc he would probably do the same thing again. he has a girlfriend now also. i'm sure she doesn't know he's messaging me questioning my NC motive. during our relationship the signs WERE there that he was over it i just chose to ignore it. he told he felt this way for a year when we broke up. crazy, just makes me feel like i was being used or it was convenient to be with me. just crazy bc why is he trying to be friends with me now? after i have told him a thousand times it can't happen anytime soon. i'm starting to think he's crazy...(doing the same thing over and over and expecting the same result). exes can be so dumb. but you are right, we both deserve better. little by little that pedestal he was on is no longer existing. Edited February 21, 2013 by bluefairy812
Mayfare Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 How long have you been broken up for? Thankfully, my ex isn't dating, but we've only been broken up 6 weeks. When we broke up, I asked my ex how long he had these feelings and he said probably about a month or so. Funny, because during the previous month he invited me to his parents' for Thanksgiving, planned our Spring Break trip, made a photo album of us over Christmas break, and was making Valentine's Day plans way in advance. I really don't know if he's just confused and will come around or if he just kept me around for convenience and really doesn't have romantic feelings anymore. I do know, though, that about 50% of the time now I don't even care his reasons. I can't even imagine being friends with him in the future because I feel led on and lied to, and that's not how you treat a friend. And yes, if he thinks he can have another girlfriend and still get to have you in his life as a friend, he is crazy lol.
Author bluefairy812 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 we were together for 4 years. we have been broken up for 7 1/2 months. he told me he was over it over a year from 2011-2012. it's true, and right now we both have no interest in knowing what the deal is really. they want the best of both worlds. how convenient. are you fully NC? it gets harder before it gets better but it sounds like you're adjusting well so far. good for you. keep hanging in there<3 1
Mayfare Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I am fully in NC ....but only since Valentine's Day lol. For the first week or two we tried being friends because there were just so many mixed signals and no answers but every time we talked it ended up being about why we were broken up, and he couldn't answer me. Well I got sick of that reaaaaal quick so we stopped being friends and I went into NC. He was hysterical when I told him we couldn't talk and still texted me sometimes, to which I usually responded out of guilt. After he bought me chocolates for V-day though I got so ticked off that we haven't spoken. I don't feel like I'll break it again even if he tries because I know it won't result in me getting any answers...just small talk. And I think I am adjusting pretty well! The first couple weeks were awful, but not anymore. Once every few days it hits me and I randomly get very sad, but most of the time I'm just angry and disappointed with him for ruining something so good and I feel like I wouldn't even take him back if I had the chance. His mom and I have stayed in close contact though haha...which I know a lot of people on here will disagree with. He's her only kid and she loves me like a daughter, and my family is so dysfunctional that she's been like a mother to me, so we both decided to forget him and keep our relationship. It hasn't hindered my recovering in any way so I don't see anything wrong with it.
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