stupid_ex Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 He broke up with me 7 weeks ago. First few weeks, I tried chasing him, he basically wanted nothing to do with me. I pulled back and he came after me, once I acknowledge his contact, he would pull back. Since the break up, the most we have not spoken or seen each other was 8 days. Two weeks ago, he met with me, we had a nice calm meeting. He questioned if I was meeting other people, I said no. He said he is doing the same. He asked for a hug. We had another meeting, he where he wanted to meet me, I agreed and he cancelled. I still met up with him. It was an ok meeting, but I asked him about working things out and he said, he doesn't want a relations, he doesn't know etc...I said, why contact me? If you think you are going to friendzone me, its not going to happen. He said, he is not zoning me at all. He was leaving it in my hands. If i wanted to contact him or not. Valentines day, things have change. I sent him a card, he loved it. Put it on his Facebook, said he was really happy. The next day he text me, and the day after he text me and we chatted for ages. On Monday, I asked him if he wanted to hang. We both had free time. We spent 3.5 hours together, hanging out, joking around, he won me a plushy toy, payed for lunch, said he was Facebook stalking me, asked me again if I was seeing or meeting people, i SAID NO. He said He is talking to others. I said, any new love on the horizon. He said, no, I have no time, I am just talking. I walked him to school, he shook my hand and walked off. He never said, i will see you again, I had fun etc..... He dumped me, why is he all of a sudden being nice to me? I text him and he messages back straight away. What is going on with him?
H3Drvr Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 You've been demoted to the back burner...he'll let you simmer while he looks for something better to cook. He'll give you a little attention to make sure he still has you on the hook while he trolls for bigger fish to fry. I know I've done this to girls in my "younger" days. My advice, cut the line, go complete and full NC. This will do one of two things, he'll come chasing hard for you or you will figure out (hopefully) that you are no ones back burner and you deserve to be front and center. If he can't do that for you then there are at least 10 other/better guys that can! Don't be a back burner.
Author stupid_ex Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 I am the first person he has ever connected with. He said he is attached to me. He told me that he loved the Valentine card which I didn't sign but was filled with confetti hearts. He said he opened the card, hearts went everywhere, he rolled around in them. He said he slept with them all over his bed all night. He still has them everywhere. I know he doesn't know what he wants right now. I was very good to him as a partner. He broke up with me because I pushed him to do it. He didn't cheat on me nor was he abusive etc....We broke up because we would fight about little things, usually him being late or forgetting things or jumping at every command of his friends. I have heard from his best friend that he is confused, he loves and cares for me. The last week, he has opened up more, communicating more. He hasn't contacted me in 3 days. I am not contacting him. He is still sending me jobs he finds online, wants to buy me things. You think I should do the full no contact? He knows how much I love and care for him. I don't need to show him that. I can easily go to 6 other guys who are willing to give me the world but I don't want them. Maybe me now going no contact is the thing. Whenever Ive done no contact, I have never gotten back with the ex, I just moved on. I am so confused.
AlexfromBoston Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 He broke up with me 7 weeks ago. First few weeks, I tried chasing him, he basically wanted nothing to do with me. I pulled back and he came after me, once I acknowledge his contact, he would pull back. Since the break up, the most we have not spoken or seen each other was 8 days. Two weeks ago, he met with me, we had a nice calm meeting. He questioned if I was meeting other people, I said no. He said he is doing the same. He asked for a hug. We had another meeting, he where he wanted to meet me, I agreed and he cancelled. I still met up with him. It was an ok meeting, but I asked him about working things out and he said, he doesn't want a relations, he doesn't know etc...I said, why contact me? If you think you are going to friendzone me, its not going to happen. He said, he is not zoning me at all. He was leaving it in my hands. If i wanted to contact him or not. Valentines day, things have change. I sent him a card, he loved it. Put it on his Facebook, said he was really happy. The next day he text me, and the day after he text me and we chatted for ages. On Monday, I asked him if he wanted to hang. We both had free time. We spent 3.5 hours together, hanging out, joking around, he won me a plushy toy, payed for lunch, said he was Facebook stalking me, asked me again if I was seeing or meeting people, i SAID NO. He said He is talking to others. I said, any new love on the horizon. He said, no, I have no time, I am just talking. I walked him to school, he shook my hand and walked off. He never said, i will see you again, I had fun etc..... He dumped me, why is he all of a sudden being nice to me? I text him and he messages back straight away. What is going on with him? Why wouldn't he be nice to you? After all, he has you right where he wants you, in his back pocket. He gets to play the field while knowing that you will be his second option the whole time. Cruel right? Well life is cruel amiga and you are seeing it first hand. You need to tell him that you have met someone(lie if necessary) and let him know you really hope it works with this new guy because he is amazing. Tell your ex that you can't be in touch with him because it wouldn't be fair to your new guy. That'll drive him absolutely insane and you just may reverse your situation and put him in your back pocket. Good luck hun.
anna121 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Ugh - this is painful to read. He is playing you. Even if it is not intentional. Although the grilling you about whether you are seeing someone (which is NONE OF HIS FRACKING BUSINESS) is a strong suggestion that he is manipulative and knows exactly what he is doing. Think about if it were your best friend going through this. What would you think of the situation then? No contact is the best option.
H3Drvr Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Stupid bloody Capricorns. Well...it really has nothing to do with his sign. It has more to do with being a "boy" instead of a man. Boys (and Girls) love to play. It's when they realize (usually later in life) that great relationships aren't easy to find is when they cherish the person that they're with. I played a lot through Highschool an college. When I got tired of the games is when all the bad things I used to do came and and haunted me back; Karma's a bitch. But think about it, if I wanted to keep you on a string, you think I would be horrible to you? Of course, I'd tell you almost anything you want to hear without making any solid commitment. It's certainly possible that when you were a couple, he was true to his words and feelings. But that's the past, so don't dwell on it. Like you said, you already have other guys lined up, so it's not like your ex is te be all end all of guys. One caveat, even if you do have guys lined up, take your time in choosing (or enjoy yourself for awhile), look for the diamonds, NOT the stones.
Author stupid_ex Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 my ex messaged yesterday asking how mu job was going. we met up on the monday and thursday he messaged me. i didn't message him but waited for him to message me. i really am in shock that he messaged me so soon. to say he has put me in the friends zone or back burner doesn't make sense to me. he isn't the type to play around. i personally think that he enjoyed the time we spent together on monday, and is missing me. We text each other on Whatsapp and he was the last to reply. i think i am going to wait until he contacts me again. i am not sure what he is thinking. ive told him i cannot be friends with him.
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