StarsOnFire Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Thanks ArchGirl.... The problem is... it hurts.... I am not the confrontational kind of guy. More chill, laid back. @TMan. No - no contact. Some of these guys have tried to make contact with her and she hasn't responded. If she does have contact with them I will call it over in heartbeat. And I do understand "habit", but that means they're still in her subconscious AND on top of that at the moment that she searches for them more than me, I feel devalued. If I look at it from my perspective - I am just searching her and occasionally other people. And I know what I feel for her. So if she felt the same wouldn't she act the same? Why would she search for you when she's with you? She probably searches for them b/c she doesn't actually see them during the day. Not to say her searching them every day isn't excessive, but the part I wouldn't get all upset about is her lack of searches on you. Honestly, she's probably just being nosy. The good part is she's not responding to them, so it doesn't seem like she's looking them up b/c she wants to be with them. More like, she's probably nosy & facebook makes it way to easy to stalk people when you're bored.
Author AverageCat Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 Why would she search for you when she's with you? She probably searches for them b/c she doesn't actually see them during the day. Not to say her searching them every day isn't excessive, but the part I wouldn't get all upset about is her lack of searches on you. Honestly, she's probably just being nosy. The good part is she's not responding to them, so it doesn't seem like she's looking them up b/c she wants to be with them. More like, she's probably nosy & facebook makes it way to easy to stalk people when you're bored. That is very true. Most of these guys are out of the country anyways, so facebook is essentially the only thing that links them. And idk, she is with me, but wouldnt she be curious about "my life" outside of when Im with her. I.e - what did I do with my friends, if I posted something, if a girl posted something on my wall, if I was tagged somewhere. I went on a roadtrip a week ago, and she didn't bother checking on me to see how I was doing, etc. Seems the only times she has checked for me is if I wasn't answering her, or something like that.
StarsOnFire Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 That is very true. Most of these guys are out of the country anyways, so facebook is essentially the only thing that links them. And idk, she is with me, but wouldnt she be curious about "my life" outside of when Im with her. I.e - what did I do with my friends, if I posted something, if a girl posted something on my wall, if I was tagged somewhere. I went on a roadtrip a week ago, and she didn't bother checking on me to see how I was doing, etc. Seems the only times she has checked for me is if I wasn't answering her, or something like that. If you want to get technical, it doesn't show up on the activity log if you click on someones profile from like, their facebook status, or if you guys are listed in a relationship, and she clicks your link from her page. SO, she could be looking, but you wouldn't see it, b/c technically she's not typing your name in the search engine. Honestly, I wouldn't be concerned about that part of it at all. 1
Archgirl Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 Ok roger that. I just need to stop procrastinating on my school studies. That leads to me doing the simplest most annoying things, like going over facebook, thinking about random ****, etc. However, honestly, you give your guy HELL - do not work for him... (which means I am assuming he does work a bit for you).... and that's stable?? And finally yes, I just hate having feelings. I wanna go break up with her. Suffer for a good week and be stubborn and go back to not caring and girls doing **** for me : D Nah he's not "my guy" or not yet anyway so stable not really an issue. Not really that clear on what you mean by work anyway, we just enjoy each other, he likes that I give him hell, thinks it's funny coming from a tiny chick with blonde curls. You hate the vulnerability of having strong feelings you goose, if you break up with her with your strength of feelings, I bet it would take longer than a week. But you've never felt so alive right? Feeling like that about someone is the best rush there is Good-luck Mr Charming-Cat xox
ChessPieceFace Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 My apologies OP, I apparently was too lazy to read the whole post. Checking ex's facebooks is normal, doing it every day is not.
Archgirl Posted February 23, 2013 Posted February 23, 2013 If you want to get technical, it doesn't show up on the activity log if you click on someones profile from like, their facebook status, or if you guys are listed in a relationship, and she clicks your link from her page. SO, she could be looking, but you wouldn't see it, b/c technically she's not typing your name in the search engine. Honestly, I wouldn't be concerned about that part of it at all. HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome post! See Mr Cat - you're making a problem out of nothing
Author AverageCat Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 HAHAHAHAHA! Awesome post! See Mr Cat - you're making a problem out of nothing I know. Plus the funniest part is that I just discovered a bug on the search feature on facebook. Seems like it doesn't keep correct track right now, but it mixes up the times. Funny story. But still. I feel like she's not over at least her most recent ex (right before me)... I guess I have to wait and see. 1
Archgirl Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I know. Plus the funniest part is that I just discovered a bug on the search feature on facebook. Seems like it doesn't keep correct track right now, but it mixes up the times. Funny story. But still. I feel like she's not over at least her most recent ex (right before me)... I guess I have to wait and see. Stay tuned... I'm one to talk though, I just ditched the guy coz I couldn't handle that he could hurt me. So you'll have to hold up the side Good luck gorgeous
Author AverageCat Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Stay tuned... I'm one to talk though, I just ditched the guy coz I couldn't handle that he could hurt me. So you'll have to hold up the side Good luck gorgeous You ditched the guy? Like the one that the post was about? That was fast... I feel like pride problems always get in between people. Everyone wants to be the "one up" in the relationship and hold more power. Until the point when both people just let go...
Archgirl Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 You ditched the guy? Like the one that the post was about? That was fast... I feel like pride problems always get in between people. Everyone wants to be the "one up" in the relationship and hold more power. Until the point when both people just let go... Yeah, I go through them fast. I'm pretty certain he was seeing other women though. Saw text messages etc. I can't stand guys that keep multiple women around as back-ups. I'm arrogant, if i'm not the best, most desirable, the only one and he starts treating me like any other woman, then I'll bail, quickly, unexpectedly and brutally. So this is a very different thing to what is happening with you. I think you're right about the pride, only I always think of it as self protectiveness. So I guess if you keep getting the "something is not right" vibe slightly longer term, and when you've had a good think and chat on here and worked out you are not looking for trouble, that's when you think about calling it quits -because your instincts/subconcious is picking up on something.
Author AverageCat Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) Yeah, I go through them fast. I'm pretty certain he was seeing other women though. Saw text messages etc. I can't stand guys that keep multiple women around as back-ups. I'm arrogant, if i'm not the best, most desirable, the only one and he starts treating me like any other woman, then I'll bail, quickly, unexpectedly and brutally. So this is a very different thing to what is happening with you. I think you're right about the pride, only I always think of it as self protectiveness. So I guess if you keep getting the "something is not right" vibe slightly longer term, and when you've had a good think and chat on here and worked out you are not looking for trouble, that's when you think about calling it quits -because your instincts/subconcious is picking up on something. But wait you guys weren't committed to each other? Were you keeping other guys as back up? Im confused... I think it is a bit of the same. I am one of those guys that will treat all girls "kind of" the same, unless they start treating me "specially" and I feel something for them. But one of my main rules was that I would never give in to a girl until she gave in for me. Again everyone wants to be in control. I honestly believe a good heart to heart chat about what is happening "usually" works. And I honestly would rather trust people than distrust them. EDIT: Your instincts / subconscious are mostly derived from previous experiences and previous people in your life. Therefore you're just making these new people pay for others behavior. Edited February 24, 2013 by AverageCat
rn0408 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 So long story short I've found my 1 week "new" gf, creep on 2 of her last exes profiles on facebook. When she left her facebook open one day I found on her activity log, that she was creeping on them almost every day. (a lot more than she was creeping on mine). They both cheated on her and hurt her and what not, but I honestly thought she was over them... Other than that everything else seems to be going well... Reason for concern? If you ask me, having two guys in a row cheating on her means this: (1) She's a control freak and people cheated on her for a reason because she is a control freak and a nutcase (2) She's desperate for anything (3) She's a stage 5 clinger obsessed with ex's My suggestion is to RUN FOR THE HILLS! I think she may be a psychopath. If you ask me, you just made a good move checking it and need to run. I always look at a girls pinterest before I consider making a move, if you see future wedding rings, future wedding cakes, baby cribs, and wedding dresses...RUN! They are desperate and might be crazy. I'm not stalking, I'm saving myself time, money, and energy dealing with a desperate woman. The normal girls that I'm friends with and are single don't have that on theirs.
Archgirl Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 (edited) But wait you guys weren't committed to each other? Were you keeping other guys as back up? Im confused... I think it is a bit of the same. I am one of those guys that will treat all girls "kind of" the same, unless they start treating me "specially" and I feel something for them. But one of my main rules was that I would never give in to a girl until she gave in for me. Again everyone wants to be in control. I honestly believe a good heart to heart chat about what is happening "usually" works. And I honestly would rather trust people than distrust them. EDIT: Your instincts / subconscious are mostly derived from previous experiences and previous people in your life. Therefore you're just making these new people pay for others behavior. That's a good point, but sometimes past experience means you can get yourself out of a mess quicker. We had been dating, I had been non-seriously dating a few others. I liked him best, when he said he wasn't seeing any others, I thought it would be best to wind it back with the others I was seeing. We got on great, then the texts slacked off, he didn't contact as much, would take ages to respond and I just wasn't getting the same level of interest anymore. Case in point, I slept with him the first time and it's four days before he contacts me again (i had messaged after because i'd found something we thought I had lost at his place -no reply) and he tells me he's only just got phone credit. Bulls***t. He runs his business off that phone and he ain't broke. Then, the last time I saw him a bunch of messages from a girl he had been dating but said he wasn't seeing anymore flashed up on the screen (you know how you can tether your phone data to stream stuff to watch) while he was out of the room, making it clear they were very much still involved. Last night asked me to do something together, I missed the message, call him back, he answers out of breath saying he's 'driving' messages me back at 1.30am saying he was 'helping a mate'. Pretty clear, when I wasn't available he went to get pussy from his back up. And I just couldn't be bothered playing the game of pretending not to care and pretending not to notice all the little things. It felt sh**ty so why bother, there's plenty of reliable honest guys around. There'll be another sooner or later. Are you really interested this? I don't want to jack your thread? But it is kinda good to say out loud. Edited February 24, 2013 by Archgirl
apple OR orange Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Aside from the fact you look at her log (more on this at the end), if she was dumped / cheated on from them, then she wants to know what her EXs are doing, problem you have here is i bet she would get back with them at some point if she could. it might be to make them pay, it may not, however when ever they look at an ex history its never a good thing (either they want them back OR she wants to make them pay for what they did). Now you shouldnt really look at whats shes doing, but if you dont you will be the only one to be in the dark as to why you got dumped (if that happens).
Author AverageCat Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Aside from the fact you look at her log (more on this at the end), if she was dumped / cheated on from them, then she wants to know what her EXs are doing, problem you have here is i bet she would get back with them at some point if she could. it might be to make them pay, it may not, however when ever they look at an ex history its never a good thing (either they want them back OR she wants to make them pay for what they did). Now you shouldnt really look at whats shes doing, but if you dont you will be the only one to be in the dark as to why you got dumped (if that happens). I said before that they "all" want her back. They would get her back in a heartbeat, but she doesn't want. At least so far. I don't think it's a good sign. But let's see..... Archgirl, idk man. Did you ever put yourself in his shoes? He looks like he has a big ego (something I dont like), but besides that I feel like you need to be less reactive to people "playing games" with you... My current girl, tossed me a txt saying "Babyyyyyyy :)", yesterday. I replied a while after "Babe . I'm chilling with the boys.".. She never answered. Stupid games / pride. 1
IAmRobot Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 I think you should be concerned. As for the level of concern... that's up for debate. Just give it a bit of time (a few months at least) and then see what happens.
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