loveneverfails93 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I'm new to this thread/discussion forum stuff so do not be rude with your comments on what I post. We all have relationship issues, right? But how do people cope with it or how do they communicate with someone that doesn't seem to care? I guess the answer is to not communicate or try to make things work with this person. I'm 19 and my boyfriend, maybe ex, is 30 years old. He always told me that I can be with him as long as I want to be because I'm the whole package and he would never get tired of me and that as time goes on he will only want me more and more. Like a fool I believed him, he gave me no reason not to. Until recently, that is. I had to move 3 hours away and he said that we will see how things progress and work and to not worry about it. But he's been so extremely distant lately. I've brought it up a few times and he apologized each time which made me feel a lot better. But this past v-day I went to his Facebook to write something and another female wrote '<3 your the best ' I practically cried immediately after seeing that. Does it mean he's cheating on me or that he found someone else since I left? I told him I'm only going to be gone for a few months and he seemed to understand. I guess not. So I tried calling him and left a drunk message, I texted him the next day apologizing for that, explaining to him I was scared because he fell in love with me so quickly, telling him my faults, that my heart grew so fondly of him and that if he doesn't want to be with me to just tell me. No response and it's been about a week. I guess all I'm looking for are opinions on what you think is going on here. Please don't be rude saying that it's quite obvious he's not that into me, I just want to try to understand why he went from talking to me everyday, wanting to spend every moment with me to giving me the cold shoulder...please help me.
Toddbt12y1 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Not being rude: He should have responded to your text; ATM, he is blowing you off. Giving you the cold shoulder. That girl clearly hurt your feelings, and he hasn't offered anything about what the meaning of this is. He seems to have blown you off for another woman. Eitherway, he is inconsiderate of how you feel; or he'd contacted you. I believe he is cheating. He may not...but I bet he. Is. He played you. Told you sweet-nothings. That's what people like him do. I am sorry. 1
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Telling you that he's 'not into you' is not being rude. it's being honest. This guy is much older than you - and you - and your poor, young willing and loving heart - have been had. He got what he wanted, and sad to say, he got it by using you. Unfortunately, many people will say whatever it takes to get someone to give it up for them. Sadly, between impressionable young things and older, mature and worldly-experienced people - it's usually the guy playing the girl. Sweetheart, you've been played.
Author loveneverfails93 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 You are totally right, it just sucks I guess. Not being able to actually get closure on it. I was played like a fiddle. It just seemed like he was totally in love with me, maybe he was and I messed it up by moving. Or maybe this was all in his agenda. I feel like a fool for believing everything he said, it just seemed so real to me.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Unfortunately, I doubt he was in love with you. If he were, your moving away temporarily for three months would have been a non-issue, not an excuse to start charming other women. Not the nicest way for him to end things. In fact it's cowardly, but it happens. He's not responding to you. Silence and ignoring someone is the universal sign of I don't care anymore. I wouldn't attempt to contact him again. A couple of suggestions should you find yourself in a similar situation again: Do NOT get drunk and then call the person who is dumping you. It never goes well and is a source of regret.Also, if you find yourself very emotional and upset, don't contact the person then. Wait until you've calmed down, and can have a reasoned, thoughtful conversation. Then sleep on it before calling. Just chalk this one up to a life lesson.
todreaminblue Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I'm new to this thread/discussion forum stuff so do not be rude with your comments on what I post. We all have relationship issues, right? But how do people cope with it or how do they communicate with someone that doesn't seem to care? I guess the answer is to not communicate or try to make things work with this person. I'm 19 and my boyfriend, maybe ex, is 30 years old. He always told me that I can be with him as long as I want to be because I'm the whole package and he would never get tired of me and that as time goes on he will only want me more and more. Like a fool I believed him, he gave me no reason not to. Until recently, that is. I had to move 3 hours away and he said that we will see how things progress and work and to not worry about it. But he's been so extremely distant lately. I've brought it up a few times and he apologized each time which made me feel a lot better. But this past v-day I went to his Facebook to write something and another female wrote '<3 your the best ' I practically cried immediately after seeing that. Does it mean he's cheating on me or that he found someone else since I left? I told him I'm only going to be gone for a few months and he seemed to understand. I guess not. So I tried calling him and left a drunk message, I texted him the next day apologizing for that, explaining to him I was scared because he fell in love with me so quickly, telling him my faults, that my heart grew so fondly of him and that if he doesn't want to be with me to just tell me. No response and it's been about a week. I guess all I'm looking for are opinions on what you think is going on here. Please don't be rude saying that it's quite obvious he's not that into me, I just want to try to understand why he went from talking to me everyday, wanting to spend every moment with me to giving me the cold shoulder...please help me. it is hard when you invest in someone to have an outcome that cuts you deep,no one person deserves to be ignored when promises have been made, and i am not talking miniscule ones, that is why i am dead set certain when i date its going somewhere, i hold off until i am sure, i try to protect my heart, getting to know a guy involves seeing who hsi friends are what they are like, knowing what he likes what he doesnt like, i do all this before i date, i always let a guy know i like him...... i go kamikaze style with my heart in my throat, my heart is so sure it overirdes the fear in my head, when i am getting to know a guy i dont stalk them, my ex said he had no clue i was interested till i told him but i already knew him, i am so subtle, i ask questions that are innocuous but telling and i dont waste time, i take my time.i watch how he interacts with other people and how many times people smile at him with genuine affection..you had a time waster who told you want you wanted to hear for his benefit......i am sorry .......i could be wrong, wouldn't be the first time i stuff up.....but many more times i dont, i dont know the guy.....but you do ....what does your heart feel? dont listen to me dont listen to anyoen else....just go by what your heart tells you and if it is a case of having an unsure heart, he will prove to you that it is wrong and your heart will be sure of that...you are the best judge of him , you know him better than any of us know him...we dont know him thats the point, i would never let anyone else tell me about a partner i had, the decisions i made were my own...questions i ask people normally involve etiquette.......make your own choices or let him prove to you why you should swing his way..we all have to make our own choices in the end...then you have no one to blame or resent..be open and honest with what you want and pray he is the same............hugs to ya....debxo
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You are totally right, it just sucks I guess. Not being able to actually get closure on it. I was played like a fiddle. It just seemed like he was totally in love with me, maybe he was and I messed it up by moving. Or maybe this was all in his agenda. I feel like a fool for believing everything he said, it just seemed so real to me. Closure sucks. you know why? Because you never get it from them. You can only provide it for yourself, by starting the journey towards 'moved on'. Sad to say, even if you were to meet him, he would still not provide it.
venusianx13 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 You are totally right, it just sucks I guess. Not being able to actually get closure on it. I was played like a fiddle. It just seemed like he was totally in love with me, maybe he was and I messed it up by moving. Or maybe this was all in his agenda. I feel like a fool for believing everything he said, it just seemed so real to me. Aw, I feel so, so bad for you. I've been there. You WILL heal from this and be all the wiser for it. Keep in mind a few things, though: YOU ARE the whole package. This guy just took you for granted, used you, etc., and it has nothing to do with you. Down the road, there will be someone who will appreciate you and will treat you well. I would caution you to be PICKY. Do not settle for pretty words alone...before you get really involved with a guy, make sure that his actions back up his words. I don't know how long you were with this guy, but considering your age, I'd guess it wasn't for a terribly long time. Consider yourself lucky. You've got a lot of life (and love) ahead of you.
Author loveneverfails93 Posted February 21, 2013 Author Posted February 21, 2013 We were in a committed relationship though...he should speak up and say its ovet. We weren't just dating, I met his friends...he met my parents. I was supposed to spend the holidays with him but my schedule clashed with the dates. I just...ugh, I want answers! :@
venusianx13 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 You're right. I am with you 100% that he should speak up and tell you that it's over. That's what a decent man would do, but he's not decent. But pay attention to his actions now, and therein lies your closure. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
ruh roh Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 loveneverfails93, please try to keep in mind that not all men are like this POS, who did you wrong. The trick is to be able to see through the BS that a lot of guys will feed you. You are still very young and will get through this. Don't ever forget what happened, but let the pain of it go. Unfortunately there is no substitution for experience. We all have to live, learn, love and sometimes hurt. I wish you much success in life and love in the future. T 1
Author loveneverfails93 Posted February 28, 2013 Author Posted February 28, 2013 I have a few of his things, one very expensive thing and one personal item...when am I supposed to give it to him? I thought that he came around because he said he had this thoughts written out but he never responded. I just...I'm over it. I just want to give him his stuff back and move on now.
TaraMaiden Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Get a friend to take them over to him. You probably know his movements, so get this buddy to just take them and hand them over, when you know he will be there to take them. With as little said as possible.
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