Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 So... despite excellent advice on here, I inevitably gave in and replied to the breadcrumb text after ignoring it for almost a week. Why do we do it?! Anyway, I replied with both barrels, saying that he would not be friends with me if I had behaved like he did. Got back, "May I think about it? I do miss you a lot, you're a huge loss to me." Then a few more scattered breadcrumbs, which I tried not to hoover up like a smackwh.ore, but we all know what it's like! Now of course it's been 24 hours and whilst I am a lot more calm and less bothered than I would have been 6 weeks ago, nonetheless I'm thinking about him cavorting and getting laid, when I hadn't really thought about that for the last 6 weeks, or at least not in that sick churning stomach "what's he doing" way. NC. NC. NC.
geegirl Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Why do we do it?! . Hope. Believing something has changed. Maybe this time it will be different. Believing a crumb is a loaf. Seeking a reaction in your favor. Hopefully, lesson learned. It's "excellent advice" so best to stick with it. Your junkie mind is the last thing you should be listening to.
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 It did the predictable: "if you ignore him, that's it, he'll walk away forever" thing. And it convinced me to listen to it. DUH, HE HAS ALREADY WALKED AWAY! HE WALKED AWAY AGES AGO! Next time I shall stab it with a Biro through my nostril.
geegirl Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It did the predictable: "if you ignore him, that's it, he'll walk away forever" thing. And it convinced me to listen to it. DUH, HE HAS ALREADY WALKED AWAY! HE WALKED AWAY AGES AGO! Next time I shall stab it with a Biro through my nostril. The thing is, whether you ignore him or not, if he wants you, he'll get to you. Ignoring would infact be the boot up his butt to get his act together. Ouch! My left nostril hurts.
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 And I have decided that the reason that I (and everyone else who caves) couldn't take that risk is that I know he doesn't want me. But some part of the brain that remains unstabbed doesn't want to ACCEPT that. And this is the part that makes me panic. And think it's OK to email back. Why is it so easy to understand and so hard to follow?! You'd think just "not replying" would be easy.
geegirl Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 And I have decided that the reason that I (and everyone else who caves) couldn't take that risk is that I know he doesn't want me. But some part of the brain that remains unstabbed doesn't want to ACCEPT that. And this is the part that makes me panic. And think it's OK to email back. Why is it so easy to understand and so hard to follow?! You'd think just "not replying" would be easy. Hope. It's a bad word when fresh out of a break-up. Acceptance takes time so don't be so hard on yourself. Not replying would be easy but it's difficult to do the practical and smart thing when you're emotional. 1
iouaname Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I know how you feel. Despite knowing that it's not the right thing to do, today I have had an overwhelming urge to respond to my ex. I keep trying to find things to distract me... just kind of hoping that it'll pass. Out of curiosity - what exactly was he "thinking about?"
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 He wants to explain why he isn't such a bad shallow person and therefore we should be friends. Because he very much wants me in his life, he just doesn't want to date me. Meanwhile, I want to hear that he is rethinking the whole thing because he is missing me soooooo badly. So that is how I am taking it, however many times I tell myself that I am wrong. He texted to say that he is still thinking and will be in touch with a detailed reply soon. So I replied and said, no need, thanks. The last thing I want is another long explanation about how we are the very mostest bestest friends on the planet ever... when I don't want that! I can't honestly say I want to be with him. But the thought of him with someone else kills me. I can honestly say it's sickening and exhausting and complicated. And that ain't my idea of friendship.
mammasita Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 He wants to explain why he isn't such a bad shallow person and therefore we should be friends. Because he very much wants me in his life, he just doesn't want to date me. HAH! sounds like my ex. "I don't want to lose you" but he doesn't want to be "with" me. It sucks - but whatever. He did me a favor by walking away. I type this in an effort to convince myselt that this is true I can't honestly say I want to be with him. But the thought of him with someone else kills me. I can honestly say it's sickening and exhausting and complicated. And that ain't my idea of friendship. Agree with this 150%. I don't think I could be with my ex again no matter how much I think I want to. And yes, It makes me ill to think of him with someone else. 1
Author Own Worst Enemy Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 So many of us are going through the exact same things. It does help, I think!
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