marklarsson Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 So to cut a long story short my girlfriend of 2+ years who i saw myself marrying broke up with me and one of her reasons was she felt we were too similar and too much in common. now this confuses, because we were attracted to each other because we had a lot in common. isn't this a positive thing? i thought if you have less in common with your partner is a negative thing. What about similar in personalities to an extent is this positive or negative?
TigerCub Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Maybe she just said it as an excuse. Personally, my bf is really different from me and there are times where I wish we were just a little more alike because it would make some things go so much easier - BUT, there is something to be said about being with someone that is different because if both people are open minded those differences can really open up each others' worlds. But I think in the end its all about getting along. If there is love, respect, and trust and the 2 people can have fun together then how does one judge what is too different and what the difference limit is? I honestly don't know that one. I'm sorry about your break up. Either put that excuse out of your mind, or ask her to explain it further, but try not to get hung up on it as being the only reason, because most likely it isn't.
Author marklarsson Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Maybe she just said it as an excuse. Personally, my bf is really different from me and there are times where I wish we were just a little more alike because it would make some things go so much easier - BUT, there is something to be said about being with someone that is different because if both people are open minded those differences can really open up each others' worlds. But I think in the end its all about getting along. If there is love, respect, and trust and the 2 people can have fun together then how does one judge what is too different and what the difference limit is? I honestly don't know that one. I'm sorry about your break up. Either put that excuse out of your mind, or ask her to explain it further, but try not to get hung up on it as being the only reason, because most likely it isn't. i think you are right, it sounded like just an excuse because in the relationship i was never a doormat and neither was she. But we both did things for each other that we would not have done for anyone else. maybe she wanted so someone she could just tell what to do and they will not ask questions. but doesnt that type of relationship get boring fast?...when the man is like a doormat?
TigerCub Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 i think you are right, it sounded like just an excuse because in the relationship i was never a doormat and neither was she. But we both did things for each other that we would not have done for anyone else. maybe she wanted so someone she could just tell what to do and they will not ask questions. but doesnt that type of relationship get boring fast?...when the man is like a doormat? That question has nothing to do with "being too similar in personalities" So I'm not sure where you're getting that from except from your interaction with her. If that's what she wants - you shouldn't be that anyways. I wouldn't want a doormat. I like men that have respect for themselves and push back when necessary.
Author marklarsson Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 That question has nothing to do with "being too similar in personalities" So I'm not sure where you're getting that from except from your interaction with her. If that's what she wants - you shouldn't be that anyways. I wouldn't want a doormat. I like men that have respect for themselves and push back when necessary. yes that's what i got from my interaction with her. but yes thats what im thinking. i think the problem is she feels if she does do something because i asked her to them shes being a doormat and if she asks me to do something then i feel i am a doormat if i do it. shes forgetting that in a relationship part of the thing is compromise. you shouldnt feel that if you partner or SO asks you to do something you are a door mat because of it.
Thegameoflife Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Well, a lot of people dislike in others what they dislike in themselves. If you're really similar, those things might have been driving her crazy. If you both feel like a doormat because your partner asked for something, I'd say you definitely had problems. Sounds like a power struggle.
Author marklarsson Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Well, a lot of people dislike in others what they dislike in themselves. If you're really similar, those things might have been driving her crazy. If you both feel like a doormat because your partner asked for something, I'd say you definitely had problems. Sounds like a power struggle. I think that's exactly what it was a power struggle. But the irony is because she was like me is why I feel for her. I think it's all about compromise, because you should be willing to things for your girlfriend or boyfriend that you are not willing to do for anyone else.
Cutiepie1976 Posted February 24, 2013 Posted February 24, 2013 Sorry you broke up. Personally, it sounds like an excuse. Anyway, you rarely get truly honest answers regarding why someone chose to break things off, and honestly, it just doesn't matter. It's wasted time and energy to puzzle over her reasons. She no longer cares. The important facts are: The relationship is overYou must move on with your life. This won't happen as long as you continue to perseverate over now meaningless, pointless minutiae about the whys and wherefores of her decision. Wallowing will only prolong YOUR pain. She is done (and gone). You must move on. Good luck with the healing process!
Author marklarsson Posted February 24, 2013 Author Posted February 24, 2013 Sorry you broke up. Personally, it sounds like an excuse. Anyway, you rarely get truly honest answers regarding why someone chose to break things off, and honestly, it just doesn't matter. It's wasted time and energy to puzzle over her reasons. She no longer cares. The important facts are: The relationship is overYou must move on with your life. This won't happen as long as you continue to perseverate over now meaningless, pointless minutiae about the whys and wherefores of her decision. Wallowing will only prolong YOUR pain. She is done (and gone). You must move on. Good luck with the healing process! That's what many people have told me that it was meerly an excuse and her decisions was not clear because she may be having that grass is greener syndrome. Had she just come out of the blue and broke up I would have completely accepted it but this was after a low point in my life where I was clear of things that I had done wrong. So for a long time I felt it was my fault
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