AverageCat Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 So I know in the back of my head that I "should not" be clingy. However whenever I feel really good with a person I'm dating, I just want them as much as possible. Now I know that there's a clingy risk to that. And I always feel like I might be clingy (even though logically I'm not), so I pull away even more. My behavior is usually: - Talk / text is divided almost 50 / 50 - Initiating contact is divided somewhere 60 / 40, where I initiate a bit more especially in the early stages. - Never contact twice, unless I receive an answer to my previous contact. - Sometimes am busy and take a long time to respond to their texts. - Hang out twice, max 3 times a week. - Let them know that I care and I think of them often. Sometimes through teasing, sometimes through actual serious straight face. Now reading all this, I DO NOT THINK I am being clingy. However whenever I am really into the person I feel like I should just back off, mainly because I think my stupid feelings might ruin everything. Ideas? Am I being too clingy? How do I stop feeling like I am?
NiceGuyDTW Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 So I know in the back of my head that I "should not" be clingy. However whenever I feel really good with a person I'm dating, I just want them as much as possible. Now I know that there's a clingy risk to that. And I always feel like I might be clingy (even though logically I'm not), so I pull away even more. My behavior is usually: - Talk / text is divided almost 50 / 50 - Initiating contact is divided somewhere 60 / 40, where I initiate a bit more especially in the early stages. - Never contact twice, unless I receive an answer to my previous contact. - Sometimes am busy and take a long time to respond to their texts. - Hang out twice, max 3 times a week. - Let them know that I care and I think of them often. Sometimes through teasing, sometimes through actual serious straight face. Now reading all this, I DO NOT THINK I am being clingy. However whenever I am really into the person I feel like I should just back off, mainly because I think my stupid feelings might ruin everything. Ideas? Am I being too clingy? How do I stop feeling like I am? I think the list you have is not clingly. You're overthinking. BUT, early on put into the relationship as much as you a receiving. As you progress, you will not think about the list you have because you will more firmly establish the relationship. It won't matter who contacts first, or how often, etc. 1
Author AverageCat Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 I think the list you have is not clingly. You're overthinking. BUT, early on put into the relationship as much as you a receiving. As you progress, you will not think about the list you have because you will more firmly establish the relationship. It won't matter who contacts first, or how often, etc. I agree 100%. However how do I stop from overthinking? I feel like when Im not with a girl and I have feelings for her AND I have boring stuff to do (like school). I ll just skip school stuff and think about her. This is a very bad behavior and Idk how to change it.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It's not clinginess if they like you as much as you like them. It only becomes cliginess if one party is more invested than the other. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Join the gym and make some friends. It's nice to think about her but it's better if you have a life outside of her.
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