mcdo Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I feel I've been living life to its fullest lately. Engaged in many activites, working on major self improvement, socialising with friends (and females ) and I went to bed last night thinking about a new girl I quite like. Woke up this morning with the ex on my mind non-stop. She has dominated my thoughts all morning. It's bizarre how the human mind can revert back to a point you thought you were moving on from. The hope is that these episodes will happen less and less until they end. But right now I've just got the same questions revolving in my head: "How could she this?" "Why did she that?" and bad memories. Good memories too, but they're harder to swallow. I just want to give myself a hard slap and say "Snap out of it mcdo, you're finding real happiness again and to be honest your life is pretty sweet - FOCUS ON THESE FACTS!" One of those mornings. Sigh.
Author mcdo Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Actually come to think of it, the ex sent me a breadcrumb yesterday. Would it be safe to say that could be the trigger? It was an odd message actually. This week is a celebratory week for students in our town i.e. they drink for 5 days straight and trash the place. She's still in college. The message was a quick "I'm not out celebrating. I'm still a good girl most of the time" Does she think I'm supposed to care? Does it still matter to her what I think of her new party lifestyle? Pfff I dunno, I didn't respond. I closed my laptop and went to the gym. Came home and made dinner and hung out with the lovely new girl (and to be clear nothing has happened with her... yet... just hanging out for now). Ex didn't cross my mind all evening as far as I remember. 1
Viber Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Im at the same stage mate, happy in stages and then morning comes an BOOOM! she's there like an ugly hangover! it does get better though, im about 6.5 weeks in and ive noticed a big change in my mental state... 1
Debbie2508 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 First thing in the morning is the worst time for me too. Going to bed at night is fine and I get to sleep with no problems.... but when I wake up I always feel sad and alone. I read somewhere ( probably on here) that your sub- conscious mind is still processing it all while we're asleep, which is why we awake with it fresh in our minds. Makes sense. 1
cdt76 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I find that my roughest times are when I'm tired. It could be after a big lunch or first thing in the morning. Whenever I'm tired, the mind wanders back. In my case it wanders back because I was happy. It wants to be happy again and it wants you to do whatever you can to make it happy. Happy was with this past relationship, even though it may have been toxic. I didn't care, I was in love again. I was with someone I wanted forever and happiness reigned. Last night I went to the Mizzou/Florida basketball game. It was intense and incredible and I was going up the isle leaving and the freaking thought hit me, wouldn't it be nice to share this moment with someone special?! Freaking brain! Now, there is loneliness, anger and the dred of dating again. It's a terrible cycle and one that I can't seem to break at the moment. Thinking that she is happy, pisses me off like you don't even know. I want her freaking miserable because she made me this way. My kids are in another state now, my job is one that has become very very very very boring (Thank you to all the idiots who voted for this president) and outside of exercising my life is pretty empty now when it was full and fulfilling only two months ago. So, yeah, rough morning. My prayers are with you all.
newsbug Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 (edited) Mornings are a low point for me even when I was in the happy relationship. I wake up very early for my job so I'm always sleepy and when I get here, I have so much down time and I don't have anyone around so I'm alone too. All I have is time to listen to my brain. So even when I was happy with him, I was sad in the mornings. That's one of the things that I wonder made him not want to be with me anymore...he didn't want to deal with me being down here and there anymore. But he was one of the few people in the world that was up earlier than me and he would always text me in the morning and make me feel happy and loved and not so alone. Now he's gone and I'm back to just trying to make it through until at some people get here or more work pops up. The sad thoughts never stop. Edited February 20, 2013 by newsbug misspelling
Author mcdo Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 First thing in the morning is the worst time for me too. Going to bed at night is fine and I get to sleep with no problems.... but when I wake up I always feel sad and alone. I read somewhere ( probably on here) that your sub- conscious mind is still processing it all while we're asleep, which is why we awake with it fresh in our minds. Makes sense. That could very well be it. I know she is still in my dreams. Something that I wish would stop but I have no control over. I often find myself waking up and thinking "OH YES! Oh wait... oh crap" But lately I think about something else straight away, get up and go to work. She will pass through my mind occasionally. But today it was just constant for some reason. Hopefully tomorrow will be back to the occasional thought and I can get on with my day (and my life ).
Chi townD Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Actually come to think of it, the ex sent me a breadcrumb yesterday. Would it be safe to say that could be the trigger? Yep! There ya go! You answered your own question. 1
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