Fivedollarshake Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 i really don't understand why guys continue to lie to a girl - when the girl found out the truth.. what's the point in digging yourself into a bigger hole. basically i was dating/talking to this guy for 5 months. we kinda had a 'exclusive relationship' were we would let the other person know if we started dating/talking to other people or hooking up with others. i was honest since day one and told him i was still talking to my ex, but eventually stopped talking to him because i felt like it wasn't fair to the guy i was dating now. he told me he wasn't talking or hooking up with anyone else, but would tell me because he respects me and isn't 'stringing me along'. last month and a half got really bad because he said he was 'falling for me' and got scared and started to distance himself from me. he also told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because of his trust issues from his past and was just to busy with grad school and work. i reacted wrongly to the distance and chased him, because i never had a guy do that to me before. i now know i should have given him space, but was just to scared to lose him. eventually he said 'we were moving to fast in his eyes and wants to work on our friendship first' - since i really liked this guy i decided to go along with it. i gave him his space - texted him once in a while, but it was nothing serious. this was going on for a month. this past weekend i was at the bar with my friends and he came with another girl.. people started telling me that was his girlfriend and a friend of hers told me that was his girl. i snapped. i texted him saying that i genuinely cared about him and was hurt that he lied to me about this other girl. he said that she wasn't his girlfriend or anything, it was just one of his friends that came up to visit and that he was pissed that he can't have any other friends of the opposite sex with out my friends and i jumping down his throat... we talked about it and i decided to trust him with what he was saying and we agreed to continue to work on things between us. he also said that he missed me. the next day her friends came up to me and told me 'what was really going on' , i also found out he was talking to other girls while we were dating, and on this girls twitter she was calling him babe and posting tweets about him and her and how much she's in love.. mean while if i did that, he would have **** a golden brick and said i was moving to fast and doesn't want others knowing his business on these social networks. i called him out on it for lieing to me this whole time especially since i gave him the opportunity to tell me the other day who she was, but he continued to deny it, tried switching everything around on me and then said i was drama since day 1. i understand why he might not look at what he did as wrong - since we were never boyfriend and girlfriend. i'm just so angry that he couldn't have been honest with me and tell me that he was talking to other girls.. and that the one was starting to get serious. meanwhile he was always up my ass freaking out if i was doing something behind his back with other guys. (and i never was) i am jealous i will admit it, but in all honesty i don't really care that he's with another girl since we were never in a relationship. i'm just angry that he gassed me up for 5 months and as well as lied to me for months when i gave him multiple opportunities to tell me the truth. i also feel like if i didn't say anything to him about what i found out it would have made me look weak and that he could get away with whatever he wanted when it has to deal with me.. i'm a strong person and not naive. i also felt like i gained more respect out of him and others for not dealing with this crap. a lot of my friends told me that he will probably come back to me in givin time because they don't see his relationship with this girl working out. their doing long distance, she's moving way faster with him than i ever was and she's already asking for a relationship out of him just after only talking for a month and a half. but, i don't need liars in my life or people who like to mess with someone else's feelings and see nothing wrong with it - so i just completely cut him off. i really don't even think we could be friends as this point. maybe in time.. but, not now. does other agree with what i'm feeling and think i acted accordingly ?
TaraMaiden Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It doesn't matter, he's your ex. It's not important, there was no real relationship anyway.... The threads you're posting, complete with duplicated posts, just make you look desperate. Who cares if he was Lying? He has so dropped you.... you should drop him too.
ScienceGal Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 A few years ago I dated a guy like that. Emphasis on "dated". He was never really mine because he was always with other women too. I don't blame him, thats just his game. I left and never looked back. You should do the same, there is nothing there for you and there is no reasoning with him. I know how hurtful and frustrating it can be. You really just have to let go. You will feel better once you move on.
RebelWithoutACause Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 He already told you he didn't want to be with you: he also told me he wasn't ready for a relationship because of his trust issues from his past and was just to busy with grad school and work. eventually he said 'we were moving to fast in his eyes and wants to work on our friendship first' Just because you've accepted his crappy excuses doesn't mean you'd be able to squeeze out a relationship from him this past weekend i was at the bar with my friends and he came with another girl.. people started telling me that was his girlfriend and a friend of hers told me that was his girl. i also found out he was talking to other girls while we were dating, and on this girls twitter she was calling him babe and posting tweets about him and her and how much she's in love.. So what if he's seeing, talking, dating other girls? You should have backed WAY off when he first told you he didn't want to be with you. You would have spared yourself a lot of drama if you had listened to what he was saying. Maybe he is a jerk for stringing you along, but it's down to you to recognize when somebody is only using you for ego-stroking. i'm just angry that he gassed me up for 5 months and as well as lied to me for months when i gave him multiple opportunities to tell me the truth. You only have yourself to blame for buying into it. Bottom line is this guy does not want a relationship with you, at least not the kind of relationship you want. Just let him go. You're only wasting your time.
candie13 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 but, i don't need liars in my life or people who like to mess with someone else's feelings and see nothing wrong with it - so i just completely cut him off. i really don't even think we could be friends as this point. maybe in time.. but, not now. does other agree with what i'm feeling and think i acted accordingly ? I bet you wrote this because the guy is messing with your head and making you feel guilty. He LIED. Every time he was seeing you, he was prob seeing other girls too. The biggest lie is the truth left untold. You did right to dump him. I cannot stand men who try to turn facts on me and make me look like I am the crazy one. Please, give me the benefit of the doubt, I have a brain and it's working alright, how much smarter than me you think you are? Every time I feel inclined to believe sh*t like that, I force myself to remember that he is doing his best to manipulate me, and that makes me sooo angry that I simply don't look back anymore. Get angry, stay mad, you did the right thing ! Sorry for those 5 months, I hope at least you had some good times .
RedRobin Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 You have good instincts... you just need to pay attention to them. When he backed off in the beginning, it doesn't matter why. Just say sayonara and mean it. Guys who are interested and worth investing in don't back off and they aren't hedging their bets with other women while seeing you. Don't bother trying to stay friends with this one either. He lost that opportunity when he decided to go the conflict avoidance route.
pbjbear Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Why are you spending so much time focusing on this guy? Go use this energy instead to work on your self esteem and self respect
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