VioletSummer Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I thought I was getting over the retroactive jealousy I had previously discussed on his forum around December time. However just recently, out of no-where really and for no apparent reason my RJ has come back and is now worse than ever. It's really beginning to get me down having these thoughts run through my head 24/7. Does anyone have any advice on how to get over it? Thanks in advance
DarrenK Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Hey there I'm not sure what your story is or much about you but the first thing I will say is RJ is absolutely without a doubt NOT a real medical or psychological condition !I've been in counseling for a long time and spoke for hours about the same thing . #1 its not maddona whore complete .that's a condition that usually occurs when guys have severe issues with there mothers and put women in two categories . #2 everything I've read and I mean thoasands of posts threads and psychiatric docs threads and I can tell you there's ushually a few distinct similarities in those that suffer from this so called RJ "one is there is an obvious sexual mismatching ,meaning experience levels ,morals,ideals,or overall value systems . Two: men and women have these images because there subconscious brain can't handle the reality that the person there with did such things .and because sex unlike any other thing is a bond,a connection ,spiritual ,for some a religious bond ,meaning we suffering from this images put a HUGE significance on sex !not just the physical but the entire accumulation of feelings . Three some men and women find out later and it changes there outlook on there significant other ,because of our values and need to feel special or unique in the relationship were in . One thing I will say is don't let people tell you your messed up or not mentally sound because you find certain things disturbing to you .you get these images because you at your coreare not ok with it and it hurts you .no different then someone being tramatized by a horrible event and can't the the images out ! What your dealing with is real and is very very painfull in many ways trust me I deal with it daily and I've done other a year of counseling ,emdr light treatments,hypothesis ,and truly there's not a end to it. The only solution is finding someone that's shares similar believes in life love sex and relationships .find someone that feels as strongly as you do ..don't believe people that say its insecurity or your issues its not wrong to have these images its human nature . but I will say if your a person that's a hyocrite and have slept around and lived carefree and expect a virgin then yeah you do have issues because expecing a perfect person is unreasonable and not realistic at all. But wanting someone with a simiar past or views on sex is 100% acceptable and normal . So my case in point is don't be a hypothetical person expect what you have done and don't hate yourself for feeling this way its ok and your not OCD or RJ yourhuman . I wish you the best and good luck and remember treat people with love including yourself don't put yourself threw this and don't fight it .go with your gut cause its not fair to anyone 1
DarrenK Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 My stupid phone makes me type wrong sometimes lol.. Hypocritical ,not hypothetical
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