frogprinz29 Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 HI ALL, I may have become somewhat familiar to some peeps in the LS. I haven't really gone into detail regarding my past breakup, but I have mentioned that my "x" and I were together for about 9 years. We had a few break ups during our relationship. We've been broken up for about 7-8 months now, but have had NC for about 2 months. I still care for her, miss her, and love her dearly. I don't really want to go into my relationship, but I would like to chat a bit about a woman that seems somewhat interested in me now. We've talked before, but the chemistry is missing. I don't know if it's because I'm still attached to my "x" or it's just not there with this woman. This new woman seems to dig me but is very criticizing and very outspoken. She complains that I don't talk very much or I don't carry on conversations. I sort of feel like she wants me to put on a show for her. When I first met my "x", I felt very natural with her. I clicked with her so well. It was easy to laugh with her and carry on conversations about anything. Becoming intimate with my "x" felt very smooth and natural. It was like we were meant for each other. I sometimes don't understand how our relationship seemed to have disintegrated. I've been reading a book that has shed some light on the failing of our relationship. I guess I'm wondering, now, if I will meet someone who will make me feel like when I first met my "x" ... When I first hugged her and her body leaned into me... Like when we first held each other and kissed our first kiss...When we first made love... and when she brought courage and trust to me, to feel strong enough to tell her that I was falling in love with her. Will that next person bring out the best in me and make me feel like I am safe, and that I could take on the world and accomplish anything. I guess that I am still stuck on my "x", after rereading what I have typed. I am not interested in this new woman... But damn, I have lossed just about all hope of ever getting back with my x. I need to move on at some point, but is every woman I meet going to be in the shadow of my x. Will there ever be another woman who will make me feel again? Will I ever meet a woman who will fit in with me, like two puzzle pieces. I know others are feeling, or have felt the same as I do now. I don't want to put myself out there and meet more people, and date, or put on a show to advertise myself. I want to be myself and not have to put up some kind of front when meeting someone. I want to be able to fall Please give me some of your input.
chicasha Posted September 1, 2004 Posted September 1, 2004 even tho u'r broken up for 7-8 months...i've only had no contact for a couple months. And....seeing u were together for 9 years before breaking up.....thats a lot of memories to overcome before u are completely separated from her emotionally. i know how it is....even when i go out w/ a guy for even a few months, i take a long time gettnig over that...let alone 9 years. maybe u just need more time that u thought u need before meeting other people..? or maybe its good to meet as many people as u can (well...don't force it....just accept invitations to friend's parties, etc...where u know u'll meet interesting people...), and just see who else is out there. doesn't mean u have to date them.....just see that there are many wonderful people out there besides your X, who are capable of loving the way she did. That will at least open ur mind up a bit......and maybe in time, u might ask one of them out.....or at least forge friendships with them, where things might progress naturally. don't think anything's wrong w/ the way ur feeling now.......it just means, u are not over ur X...and thats ok. for some people, it takes way longer than others...u can't force it. But...u can try to slowly get out of ur shell..and experience new things...
Author frogprinz29 Posted September 1, 2004 Author Posted September 1, 2004 Thanks for the response. You're right. I think I'm still hung up on my x and I should slowly start getting out there (without the goal of finding "the one"). A female friend of mine has been broken up with her x of 3 years and it's been about 7 months since they broke up. They still talk but don't intend on getting back together. She's out dating often and going out socially with friends and co-workeres. She says that she's out just having fun. She said that she's not out there looking for "Mr. Right, but just Mr. Right Now". First thing that came to my mind was "Player". I know I'm not in the mood for bein' a "Player". I have some friends that keep tellin' me that it's time for me to start dating, and that my x has most likely started dating. I'll just take things as they come. I'll hang out with friends and have fun. I don't plan on persuing anyone, or looking for "Ms. Right Now". If fate has it that a woman comes my way, I won't read into things. I'll just do what I've been doing since my break up and take one day at a time. Take care and thanks
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