Blondie899 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a month. Things have already gone fast in our relationship. He is a sweet guy but there are some things that bother me about him. He is 30 I'm 24, he has been divorced twice. He is friends with this 18 year old girl. What could a 30 year old and a 18 year old have in common? He works with this girl, he has told her about me and I talked on the phone with her briefly and she wants to meet me. He tends to talk about her when we are together. Then when we were at dinner all of a sudden he goes I hope you don't get jealous of her. He also said that she rode in his car to get breakfast on the way to work. He wants to have a get together and invite her and he told me he buys her alcohol. This made me uncomfortable. Is it normal to be jealous of his friend? Should I be worried there is more going on?
CC12 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Is it normal to be jealous of his friend? I don't know if I'd be jealous, per se. At first I would just be like, "Wtf, why is a 30-year-old hanging out with an 18-year-old?" And then I'd be like, "Wait, he buys her alcohol, too? Naaah. Nah, man. Nah." Sorry, OP, your boyfriend is a scumbag. 4
todreaminblue Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a month. Things have already gone fast in our relationship. He is a sweet guy but there are some things that bother me about him. He is 30 I'm 24, he has been divorced twice. He is friends with this 18 year old girl. What could a 30 year old and a 18 year old have in common? He works with this girl, he has told her about me and I talked on the phone with her briefly and she wants to meet me. He tends to talk about her when we are together. Then when we were at dinner all of a sudden he goes I hope you don't get jealous of her. He also said that she rode in his car to get breakfast on the way to work. He wants to have a get together and invite her and he told me he buys her alcohol. This made me uncomfortable. Is it normal to be jealous of his friend? Should I be worried there is more going on? have you ever asked him what he has in common, why he likes her, why they became friends?......the alcohol buying is a worry however, why does he buy her alcohol?.....deb
ltjg45 Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 This is weird. Why would he have anything to do with a 18-year old, even after he has found a girlfriend? He also buys alcohol for her, which tells me she is leeching off of him. All I can guess out of this is that she is a friend with benefits. There is no way your BF is buying her alcohol and he isn't getting "something" out of it. Most males is not that nice. And now he wants you to meet her? For what benefit? My opinion? He wants your approval just to keep her a part of his life. I don't think that is a good thing as he is keeping his options open. You need to get some answers. If he respects your relationship, he wouldn't be so hasty to let you get to know her so quickly unless there is a underlying problem that may arise, or is already risen, over it.
Eclypse Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 It took me a little while to realise why him buying her alcohol was bad. Then I remembered this was America where you can jump into twin turbo V8 car by yourself at 16 yet you can't drink a beer till 21 anyway, an argument for another topic. Sounds to me like they have something going on. Your gut tends to be right with these things. Agree to meet her and see how they interact. Flirtation should be obvious. Then you'll know whether to dump him. 1
NervisPervis Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 30 year old men are NOT friends with 18 year old girls because they like their personalities. He may not have slept with her YET, but he wants to. Of that I have no doubt. You didn't describe her, but I'll bet a MONTH'S wages that she's a lot closet to "hot" than "chubby and frumpy". Am I right? Men and women CANNOT be platonic friends. They can be sociable at work. They can be neighborhood "friends". Going out of his way to do ANYTHING with/for her? No way. And that has been PROVEN by scientific research.
Author Blondie899 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 This is weird. Why would he have anything to do with a 18-year old, even after he has found a girlfriend? He also buys alcohol for her, which tells me she is leeching off of him. All I can guess out of this is that she is a friend with benefits. There is no way your BF is buying her alcohol and he isn't getting "something" out of it. Most males is not that nice. And now he wants you to meet her? For what benefit? My opinion? He wants your approval just to keep her a part of his life. I don't think that is a good thing as he is keeping his options open. You need to get some answers. If he respects your relationship, he wouldn't be so hasty to let you get to know her so quickly unless there is a underlying problem that may arise, or is already risen, over it. Well I met him through my friend I work with. She has known him for 5 years and she knows everyone he works with because her bf works there and she says I have nothing to worry about. I talked to him about it and he says he sees her as a little sister. I still don't know what to think! The situation just seems weird to me.
stillafool Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Yeah, somethings going on between them. 18 year old females don't hang out with 30 year old men unless they have a major crush on them and your bf may not have done her yet but it is on his mind. He already likes younger women as you are 6 years younger than him. I guess that's not enough for him.
Author Blondie899 Posted February 20, 2013 Author Posted February 20, 2013 Yeah, somethings going on between them. 18 year old females don't hang out with 30 year old men unless they have a major crush on them and your bf may not have done her yet but it is on his mind. He already likes younger women as you are 6 years younger than him. I guess that's not enough for him. You are right! No 18 year old girl is going to go over a 30 year old mans house unless she is attracted to him. I'm probably just going to break up with him I don't want to feel like I'm always competing for him next to a 18 year old with no responbilities. Plus she is very attractive from a picture I've seen! 2
NervisPervis Posted February 20, 2013 Posted February 20, 2013 Plus she is very attractive from a picture I've seen! That Pervis guy nailed THAT one.
sillyanswer Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 What could a 30 year old and a 18 year old have in common? He works with this girl, he has told her about me and I talked on the phone with her briefly and she wants to meet me. What could they have in common? Well, ask him! but, you answered the question immediately - they work together. Perhaps through socialising at work they discovered a shared interest as well... but ask him! I'm older than him and I've had 18 year old female friends (I think they're about 20 now)... I met them via a sport that I do, so what we have in common is doing that sport. They're so young that even when we go out drinking together (with a wider group of friends, of various ages and sexes) I'm never thinking "ooo! Young women! sexytimes" because I'm thinking "Kids of today! Sheesh! How can they dance to this stuff?" Your bf? I have no idea what he thinks... but if the girl wants to meet you then that's another way for you to find out what they have in common. Based just on your first post I don't see a rational reason to be jealous - they are colleagues and have become friends (for reasons you should find out about if you are curious) and she wants to include you in that friendship. But... jealousy isn't always rational, so don't feel bad if that's your reaction.
johnnyk Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a month. Things have already gone fast in our relationship. He is a sweet guy but there are some things that bother me about him. He is 30 I'm 24, he has been divorced twice. He is friends with this 18 year old girl. What could a 30 year old and a 18 year old have in common? He works with this girl, he has told her about me and I talked on the phone with her briefly and she wants to meet me. He tends to talk about her when we are together. Then when we were at dinner all of a sudden he goes I hope you don't get jealous of her. He also said that she rode in his car to get breakfast on the way to work. He wants to have a get together and invite her and he told me he buys her alcohol. This made me uncomfortable. Is it normal to be jealous of his friend? Should I be worried there is more going on? This is the perfect song for you right now.
ltjg45 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Well I met him through my friend I work with. She has known him for 5 years and she knows everyone he works with because her bf works there and she says I have nothing to worry about. I talked to him about it and he says he sees her as a little sister. I still don't know what to think! The situation just seems weird to me. It's easy for her to say that, really. That doesn't mean much if her actions say otherwise. Well, meet up with her and see how it turns out. While I wouldn't judge just off of this alone, be prepared for anything. I don't know. It would be one thing if they are just good friends but your BF wanting to make it a priority for you to meet her? That doesn't sound right. And judging from him buying her alcohol, I can't help but to feel something is up.
Minnie09 Posted February 21, 2013 Posted February 21, 2013 Diviorced 2 times at the age of 30? Red flag. A platonic friend 12 years younger? And he buys her alcohol? Weird. Red flag. I wouldn't trust him.
soccerrprp Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 RED FLAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 30 and... 1. ...already divorced TWICE! 2. ...cozy with an 18-yr old???!!
Author Blondie899 Posted February 23, 2013 Author Posted February 23, 2013 RED FLAGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 30 and... 1. ...already divorced TWICE! 2. ...cozy with an 18-yr old???!! He got upset when I told him I thought it was in appropriate for her to come over there when it was just him there. He said that she is like family to him. I don't understand why I get attached to men that are like this. Plus he gets drunk every single weekend.
Recommended Posts